Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Wow. WTF?

Did somebody push the Let The Loonies On-Line button today?

Apparently grammar is not his forte.

I’ll certainly be making sure that my editor at Kensington, one of the publishers who uses him, sees this message so that she knows EXACTLY how he feels about the romance community. I’ll also be requesting that his image NEVER grace one of my covers (and I won’t be surprised if many other Kensington authors make the same request).

The best part is that Tony is identified as “a heck of a nice guy” by others in the comments trail.

On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.

Whoa.

Between this and all that’s happening on a few other blogs, I’d say someone took a shit in some cosmic Wheaties.

Just saying…

Hi Tony Catanzaro!

Wow name calling my bitches… I don’t know honey if you can take what you dish out.

Let me read your beads right here sweet cheeks.

I am a fag and I want you to know I personally think you are the biggest fag I have ever seen.

Takes one to know one I’m sure.

I think it’s sad you married that poor girl for a beard.

Charming to meet you miss thang!

*flipping you the bird baby*

O Bitches,
Much as I love your admirers, it’s your detractors that keep me coming back for more.

And Tony? you might think about laying off the hormones or caffeine or Bible or whatever it is that’s got your nuts in a knot. In the meantime, keep up that good praying work, dude.

Remember what the Quivering Brethren say: There’s no butter in hell.

PS Good thing he’s praying for you bitches. Otherwise he might come across as a tad…hostile.

He was obviously hitting the crack pipe with Falk.

But that’s just my judgmental, fat, hairy, unlaid, going-to-hell ass talking. (It’s like he’s psychic.)

Does he want to be taken seriously? Okay. In light of recent events, you bitches could probably have him interrogated by the police for threatening you.

If this really was written by him, then it is confirmed that he is an idiot asshole.

If it was not, then he’s got a rabid fan in Kentucky that is an asshole.

Oh, me, oh my. How ever can we tell?

Although as an ugly chick (going on feedback here; I really don’t know the difference because I’m not quite so *shallow* as to keep track) I’m a little pissed off that the writer is equating “rude commentary” with “ugly woman.” In my experience,  pretty yet insecure women tend to be cattier, probably because they want cookies and deny themselves. If everyone just had a damn cookie when the urge hit, the world would be a better place.

I also don’t know that anyone here was catty, per se. That video did not give a good impression at all. Unless he was trying to play the stereotypical, pretty yet dumb guy. :-\

Whoa.

Just saying…

I’ve noticed that, too. I swear there’s a planet in retrograde. Tsk. Brats with internet access.

Is it bad that I have a vision of Fergie from the Black-Eyed-Peas starting some drama with a cover model? You know, the junk in the trunk video?

I am officially amused.

I should think this would be a comment on the huge popularity of Smart Bitches that someone would take this much umbrage at an expressed opinion with the video to back it up…

Sadly, until his comment, I was in the “give the guy a break” camp. Sure he came across as a dim bulb in the interview, because honestly, I don’t expect my eye-candy to have brains. And when other comments ran the “he’s such a nice guy” route, I smiled and moved on.

Until his comment.

Nice people don’t say I’ll pray for you in one sentence and condemn you to flesh burning hell in the next one.

Dude, lighten up. Seriously. Nothing in those comments or in the smart bitches post warranted that kind of response. I guess it goes to show that even the ab-ilicous beautiful people can be very insecure.

Oh sorry I probably should not have come here after reading Laura Baumbach’s blog.

It is not the internet that people are acting crazy.

Seem’s RT treated Laura pretty bad in person.

http://sensualwriter.blogspot.com/2007/05/rthyatt-author-targeted.html

Hmmm, Tony, you might have some great abs, but you’ve just shown that you also have some incredibly thin skin. 

Let’s see, you go on a nationally televised talk show and act like a dipwad and are then astonished to find out that people on the internet are talking about you?  You really are a bit slow on the uptake aren’t you!  And if that isn’t good enough, you respond to the comments with a post that borders on being a terroristic threat.  Way to let a situation blow-over. 

Did you even read some of the other discussions around here?  Did you not even take the time to figure out that the bitchery counts as members, some of the most widely read authors in Romance fiction?  Some of whom, are very, very influential!  What are the odds that those same very influential authors, pass along your little tirade to the very people who hire you to be on the covers of all those books?  I think even you can see where I’m going with this one.  Yep, that’s what I call a smart business move.

Wow, I’m thinking someone is having a realy bad day.  Maybe his doctor could recommend some fiber in his diet.

Because yes, Tony, that’s a great way to convince people that you’re not shallow or dumb: go on a flaming tirade on a website where a lot of your potential employers could find it. *slow clap* Well done.

I’ve seen this a lot in fanfiction communities, too: posting criticism or unfavorable commentary = U R JST UGLY AN JELOUS OF MY TALINT U DUMB JREKS

Also, I believe the existence of the Baby Bitchlette, the Very Tall Husband, and other sundry characters disproves some of his . . . erm . . . less polite commentary.

Yeah. First I hassle you with Hoff and shar-peis, then I stick the Manufactured Peas inside your head…

I’m a bad person. I’m going to Hell.

But we knew that already.

Wow, I’m thinking someone isn’t having a good day…maybe his doctor could recommend ways for him to get more fiber in his diet.

I want to say that I sooooooo wish I could to attend BITCH-CON 5 with y’all this year.  Unfortunately what with it being held on the left hand continent and all as usual I’m not going to be able to make it.  Rats.

I hear BITCH-CONS 1,2,3 & 4 were a blast!

However, if Glasgow’s bid for BITCH-CON 6 comes out top on the final ballot for 2008’s venue, I am so there for that one.

;-)

Anybody else surprised by the use of the word ‘degenerate’? Maybe he remembers it from his school days.

Also, just ‘cause your name is Tony does NOT mean you’re a ‘made man.’ Belt Parkway indeed!

If everyone just had a damn cookie when the urge hit, the world would be a better place.

Kaite w1ns!  At life!

Is this guy for real?  I mean, it reads like Robert Hamburger’s best

Wow, way to flounce, Tony. XD

I… have a difficult time taking anyone seriously who uses that many exclamation marks, I admit. Just a thing with me, I can barely register the actual threats, too busy headtilting at the format used.

The rest of it is comedy gold, though. If Tony (or whoever wrote it) is reading this… you were going for funny, right?

;3

Yes, the path to hell is evidently to make fun of an ab model.  I’m surprised it isn’t included in the Ten Commandments:  Thou shalt not mock the abdominally endowed.

Astonishing that Jesus managed to ignore it when he was giving his Sermons on the Mount:  And, lo, a stunning young man came and he haddeth not a six-pack, but a twelve-pack, and the Lord saideth, “Those that scorn you, let them burn forever in the fires of eternal damnation, for they that do the crunches serve my Father.”

My first thought when I saw his letter was, “Wow, it has to be a hoax!” because no one would sabotage his own career by writing a screed like that.  Would he? 

I mean, I don’t get it.  The guy stands to lose everything and gain nothing if publishers hear about this.  It just makes no sense to me. But then, much I see these days makes no sense to me.

Wow. I’m all for a strongly worded letter to make your point but when one resorts to name calling and over use of exclamation points, not to mention poor grammar, then it just really loses its intended effect.

I’m just sayin’...

I would love nothing more than to throw you bitches in the trunk of my caddy and dump you in the weeds somewhere off the Belt Pkwy! But instead, I will pray for you.

Wow, a serial killer with religion; now there’s something that’s worth an advance from Harlequin.

“Degenerate”?

Nice use of the Microsoft Word thesaurus, Tony. You really convinced me of your shining intellect and rapier wit. Before, I ventured a guess that you were an ab model who wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Now I’m convinced.

My favorite part of your note is how you emphasize that beauty comes from within and, in the same breath, describe any women who mocked you as “fat disgusting hairy looking men”. So all the ugly people are the mean ones, right Tony? That’s how it works? A fine concept, except for the fact that it directly contradicts your trite preachings on how “beauty begins on the inside”.

Aside from your flagrant disregard for basic grammar, you also seem to lack understanding of how our legal system works. See, when you say you want to “throw you bitches in the trunk of my caddy and dump you in the weeds somewhere off the Belt Pkwy”, it looks kind of bad. In fact, it’s interpreted as what we refer to as a ‘terroristic threat’. Candy and Sarah don’t seem like the types of ladies who would sue you for such behavior, but then again, your letter isn’t just addressed to them. It looks to me as if it’s addressed to EVERY woman who commented on your video.

Let’s just hope that none of them are as vindictive as you are, shall we?

Maybe they’ll opt to pray for YOU, as that seems to be the popular way to cop out of a threat/insult nowadays. I may not be able to actually smell your corpse being devoured in hellfire, but from this distance, the pungent odor of tanning oil and cheap cologne smells more of vanity and hypocrisy than hell.

Oh, and Tony, perhaps if you lightened up on the steroids your temper would calm down a bit. The next time you feel the urge to shoot up, just pop in a helpful School House Rock video so that the next time you try to send someone self-righteous hatemail, you don’t come across as such a dumbass.

OMG! I thought he was a nice guy! I really did! I though his wife was nice!

Dumb I can forgive, maybe even embrace. But mean? I don’t think so.

Maybe it wasn’t him.

I hope it wasn’t him.

Do you suppose I can do some voodoo over his picture on the cover of my book, or am I comically cursed with my connection to him?

Maybe we should pray for him! I see tomorrow is the national day of prayer.

Looser.

You know, looking at his photos for sale on his website, I was particularly struck by #‘s 21 and 28, as they compare to # 27. http://www.anthonycatanzaro.com/photos.html

That old Sesame Street refrain keeps playing through my head…“Two of these things belong together, two of these things are kind of the same…”

Of course, I guess it could be that old George Costanza problem of “shrinkage.”

Does this mean we can get a Bitch-signal to advertise the current threat level?  Orange seems to be the new Black when it comes to the Dept. of Homeland Security, but Orange isn’t really my color so I’d like to suggest an alternate palate is used for Bitchland Security.  (Oooh, can we get a Bitchland Security logo/emblem, too?)

I’ll feel really bad for Tony if it turns out he didn’t actually stir this crap-pot.  Regardless of the sender, given the obsession with hair, methinks someone lost an argument with his/her waxer in the recent past which could certainly make anyone grouchy, so I’ll do my best at empathy and forgiveness while I’m on my trip to hell.

Hmmm…First let me preface this by saying that I really am a fat, hairy woman (hairy in that I’m not prone to shaving…my more dark haired sisters tell me that I’ve lucked out with the fair Scandinavian hair and am thus able to get away with it) and, still, I find I’m getting laid on a pretty regular basis (by aforementioned geek *sigh*).

I had completely ignored that posting, mostly because I really am not into weight lifters giving me exercise advise as my level of exercise need is so far different from theirs.

Looking back now, I’m a bit surprised at how harsh some of the criticism was.  Being someone sensitive to how I am judged based on my looks (fat people are often thought of as lazy, not too smart, smelly, etc), I can understand that it might sting to be assumed to be rather dim just because you are attractive.

Still, the response (if it is legitimate) is rather excessive and angry…and very ill conceived.  Someone needs a PR person, or lessons in diplomacy and how to respond in such a situation that might actually endear you to your critics (there are ways, believe me fat girls learn them early).

Tony - my hoochie came from God - eat it baby.

I learned something important from this post. And that something is that I am not the only bitch whose morning ritual consists of hours in front of a mirror with a sharpie drawing on extra hair. Getting each individual nose hair just right is extremely time-consuming yet satisfactory!
I too had initially skipped over that post, so I guess maybe I’m safe from the caddy. Wow. Interesting day on the intertubes today!

What is going on in Romancelandia today? Jeez, you walk away from the computer for one little day and all hell breaks loose.

Wow.  It must be global warming or the alignment of the planets or something.  This isn’t just happening on line but I have to admit it’s easier to laugh at online wank than the real life stuff.

One other thing, Tony.  On the internet everything lives forever.  Remember that.

“If this really was written by him, then it is confirmed that he is an idiot asshole.

If it was not, then he’s got a rabid fan in Kentucky that is an asshole.”

Oh, Kaite - your words - they are so true.
I want to clarify that my hoochie comment was not an invitation - despite Mr. T’s accusations, I get “laid” (I really detest that particular euphemism)regularly, thank-you.

I wonder if the Kentucky-kook realizes that his pity party has not helped his Abonis’(tee-hee, Adonis…ABonis,hey it was funny when it popped into my mind, ok)image much?

Tony, I don’t even know who you are or what you’re talking about but kiss my ass anyway. I’m gonna remember your name when it’s time for cover model shopping.

Wow, this is beautiful. Get a sense of humor ab man. Honestly, I don’t think most of the comments made in too mean spirited a sense. Sure, they weren’t the nicest things to say… but I mean come on compared to the other cover snark it wasnt that bad. If you go on national tv and harp about how your abs are what women dream about and what sells romance novels… you are probably gonna get made fun of a little. Instead of replying in an adult manner or perhaps ignoring it he sent that 4th grade exercise in name calling?!!?? Its not like we made fun of his camel-toe like Fabio, we just called him a little dumb and superficial! Well, talk about throwing a hissy!

Just a tad bit over the top, don’t ya think?

Got to love the “pray for you” part.

Remember what the Quivering Brethren say: There’s no butter in hell.

AHAHahahahaa!

You win at life for that reference.

I’d say something more interesting, but I’m too busy basking in the glow of flamey wank.

(confirmation: name73. Name 73 what? Reasons why this letter was a bad idea?)

Is it just me, or is it kind of pitiful that the worst insult this sorry-ass son of a bitch can come up with is “Eeew, you’re a MAN!”

Talk about self-loathing.  Then again, given the evidence, it may be justified.

My head’s all abuzz with today’s weird happenings. Do these sorts of kerfluffles come in threes, like celebrity deaths? Be on the look-out…

WoW! Talk! about! an! overuse! of! exclamation! marks!

I wonder if this guy was ever told that less is more?

“I wonder if this guy was ever told that less is more?”

Probably every time he undresses in front of his wife.

I would love nothing more than to throw you bitches in the trunk of my caddy and dump you in the weeds somewhere off the Belt Pkwy! But instead, I will pray for you.

Reason #672 why I no longer call myself a Christian.  Open memo to the world—saying “I’ll pray for you” is NOT a get out of jail free card. 

(And in this instance, that comparison is particularly apt.  Death threats much?  He’d better be DAMN glad the Bitchery aren’t in a litiginous mood.  If someone posted shit like that on my blog, I’m calling the police, FBI, CIA, BBB, PMS, AEIOU, my mother, the neighbors, the local German Shepherd rescue place to get 17 more dogs, the gun shop, and anyone else I can think of to get their psycho ass locked up.  That sort of thing is NOT funny.)

Methinks it’s not the burning bitchy flesh he’s smelling.  Put down the crack pipe, ab-man, and hie thee to the nearest shrink for some happy pills.  Better living through chemistry, baby.  I tell ya, those pharmaceuticals work wonders.  I hardly ever threaten to kill random people anymore.

*twitch*

Clearly you’re the one on the left, and you’ve run out of Sharpie markers because I don’t see the drawn-on hair.  Really, try harder next time.  That puzzler was far too easy.

Heeeheee! *giggles*

But seriously, I agree with what most said. That comment is just out of line and sick and criminal and career suicide if it really was him. Does he have an agent? Is there any way of finding out if this is ‘the real deal’?

Funny thing is I’m already going to hell according to most Christians, what with the premarital sex, blasphemy and, oh, not being baptised, so I highly doubt that (had I commented to that video) it would have made my afterlife-arrangements more bleak.

Candy, obviously you’re the one on the right, but you photoshopped a skinny hot chick over your fat, hairy, ugly body (even though you are beautiful on the inside).

*snorts*

whoa girl, left or right, you’ve changed a lot since Monica posted that picture of you.

hey just realized you’re wearing a utilkilt or whatever those things are called. so very cutting edge hot!

Candy, that picture’s a classic.  Nice gams.  Both sets.

Wow, I’d say Tony needs to give up his Starbucks addition and switch to herbal tea. 

Or maybe he’s the one who needs to get laid?  That would account for his obsession with sex.

P.S.  The word for the day is couldnt98.  That must be his problem!  :)

If that wasn’t him, he should hunt down the person who did that to him. Poor Tony.
If that was him, well, Poor Tony. 

Sweet Zombie Jesus, Candy.
I am in love with your friend in the kilt.
Hawt. *whew*

STOP IT. For the love of god, just STOP. I keep swinging by to avoid work and see what’s new and you KEEP PUTTING THAT DAMN SONG IN MY HEAD.

Tony is so right. You two are pure hairy dagnasty evil.

Roid-rage much?
I’ve never heard of this guy before seeing his infomercial here on smart-bitches.
Just a little slap and tickle there Tony honey, don’t worry your pretty little head over it. 
Had Fabio, pouted and stamped his little foot at the folks who teased him he would have never become the icon he is today.
And threatening your cash cows is no way to win a national ad placed during the super-bowl, Tony honey.

I love how Tony insinuates a woman is only worthy if she is 1) physically beautiful and OMGNOTHAIRY and 2) gets laid like whoa.  Because according to him, I am a thoroughly digusting woman (how did he know that I’ve been procrastinating shaving my legs?).  Silly Tony, go back to doing your crunches and what not and SHUT YOUR MOUTH.  Srsly.

Oops, meant diSgusting, there.  I swear I can spell.  ;)

Wait, this is the guy who told the world his abs were the reason a book sold and he’s talking shit about other people? Isn’t he sort of trashing the people whose work he’s riding on by insisting that his abtasticness is the selling point and not the book itself? I’m confused.

OTOH, why am I not surprised he drives a caddy and thinks about shoving women into it? And possibly a pack of depends and some plastic tubing.

The internet water cooler has been laced with crazy this week.

Well, you know what they say about men who use too many steroids… besides the rage, their dinkies are… dinky. That must ramp up the level of self-hate right there.

hey just realized you’re wearing a utilkilt or whatever those things are called. so very cutting edge hot!

I prefer NeoKilts myself. I’ve met the guy who makes them several times and he’s really great.