Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Well someone named iffygenia is bound to have some unusual ideas about Fathers’ Day gifts, no?

My gut reaction:

Eeeeeeeeewwwwww.

Okay. Now, my grown-up, worldly, tolerant, and carefully considered response:

Eeeeeeeeewwwwww.

o_O

Hey Candy, thanks for posting.

I hope you won’t mind if I plug my little home-based business, which can offer the same product for savings of 90% or more.  My alternative is guaranteed 100% organic, made in the USA, and uses no preservatives.  It’s more than fresh: it’s made to order!

How can I offer such a great product for so cheap?

* First, I don’t advertise.  This is an exclusive word-of-mouth offer.  If you want the glitz, feel free to browse the competition’s pretty pictures.  Personally, I try to provide content over style.

* Second, I believe in passing on savings to customers.  Substantial discounts if you donate to our research program:
Save $1 per bottle with donation of 2 AA batteries
Save $2 per bottle with donation of suitably stimulating ARC

* Finally, our juice producers are strictly free range, highest quality feed, well housed.

Iffygenia at work

someone named iffygenia is bound to have some unusual ideas about Fathers’ Day gifts, no?

It’s true, this is a rather loaded day for the iffygenias of the world.  I like to think that in my own way I’m ameliorating the painful choices of the past.  Daddies don’t have to sacrifice.  They can take out their troubles through sacking and pillaging instead.

So, to those unfamiliar with the “iffygenia” brand, I assure you that I’ve applied all my extensive experience to create a product that says “Daddy, you deserve this.”

I wonder if the scent comes in a soap-on-a-rope version?

Now I *should* know just by the title that this isn’t work safe, but OMG—wasn’t expecting a picture of the woman juicing herself.  :-(

Iffygenia,

If that’s you at work, how come your hands are…over your head?

Or do you have one of those robo-collectors under that voluminous chiton? :-)

“Sweat From My Balls” YEAH!

I’ll take ten please!

Iffygenia do you have a knock off “Sweat From My Balls”?

The top part of that page should read “Come one, Come all!”

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Sherry Thomas,
That’s the beauty of the Iffygenia Workplace.  I writhe at my own pace.

Teddy Pig,
I smell a franchise opportunity!

Candy,
You are brill.

If that’s you at work, how come your hands are…over your head?

I thought iffygenia was the one in the red. Coming to rape, I mean reap the harvest from the be-roofied freshman English Lit major during Frosh Week.

LOL!  I read the ad for my husband, and he thought it was both gross and funny.  I have to agree.

His favorite part was Teddy Pig’s request for ‘Sweat From My Balls’.  He found that highly amusing.  :)

P.S.  My word is daily97.  Is that how often you have to work to fill the bottle, iffygenia?  ;)

didja watch the little video? with the woman who obviously doesnt speak english as her first language?
anyway, she says this “fragrance” is convenient and all, so you can have erotic fantasies anytime, anywhere.

which begs the question (to me at least), what kind of guy needs vagina-smell to prompt erotic fantasies? i’ve always been under the impression that they didn’t need much of anything at all, besides a healthy sex drive and a little imagination.
yes?

oh, and i threw up a little in my mouth too. blech.

(veri-word “once52”—once is how many times i’m going to look at that site!)

My first thought was ewwwwww, and then I giggled and forwarded link to hubby.

When I think of my father, the very LAST image I want in my mind is his reaction to the scent of pussy.  I mean, for God’s sake.  GROSS!!!

And I’m also laughing my ass off (in a really disgusted way) at “erotic fantasies anytime, anywhere.”  Can you picture some cubicle-slave using this in the breakroom?  If he shakes hands with his boss later, would there be awkward questions about why he smells like coochie?  What’s worse—“Sorry, boss, you caught me, I got me a little sumthin’ sumthin’ during break” or “Sorry, boss, I soaked my hand in fake cooze-ooze to spice up the work day”?  Personally, I’m thinking there’s no good answer at all.

And finally, EWWWWWW.

Scent is one of the more powerful senses but EWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!  Some people will do anything to make a buck…

I could see how the picture alone would make a nice gift for some (though not for my father!!)

My. God.  I think I’ve heard everything, and then something like this turns up…

Please tell me someone else noticed that they are currently working on two new scents titled EIGHTEEN and EXOTIC.

Hell in a handbasket I tell you…Hell in a handbasket.

eeewwww and also LMFAO

This could only be for some perpetual virgin who never smelled pussy in real life.  But it is hilarious ;-)
Worth it for the giggles alone

So disturbing. So, so disturbing.

Anybody else think that guy looks a bit like Woody Harrelson?

Just when you think there are no new ideas in commerce…

You know some sicko is going to purchase a case.

OK,
count me in the

EEEWWWWWWWWWW
Just damn!
ewweeeeweewww
WFT!

Group.

I can see I won’t get a lot of orders from this crowd.  Where’s the blog for Assholes Who Think They’re Alpha Heroes?

I think Alec Baldwin has the patent on Sweat From My Balls...

Can you image explaining something like that to airport security? :D

My favorite picture from the website is the one of the cosmopolitan pimp daddy, holding the “phial” of pussy juice up to his face, flanked by the topless women. It’s like the most horrid Bond villain ever: “I see you have discovered my plan, Mr. Bond: to enslave the men of the world by distributing this essence of beautiful women in ventilation systems worldwide. You will not succeed in stopping me, Mr. Bond, because—” *throws phial in Bond’s face*

My spam-shield word is major32, as in “Majorly pathetic men are the target audience, I think.”