Bitchin' Blog Posts
Best. Ad. EVER.
by Candy | by Candy | September 19, 2007 | Wednesday at 2:49 am | 24 CommentsHoly crap! A completely safe-for-work ad for a porn channel!
I didn’t think those sorts of things needed ads. But oh my God, this is brilliant.
Alessia Brio said on 09.19.07 at 03:12 AM • [link]
BWAH! I catch something new each time I watch it.
*snort* Sanchez *snort*
Katie Dickson said on 09.19.07 at 03:22 AM • [link]
Hey Ron.
Hi Jeremy.
(snort)
The best thing about it is that everyone is so NICE in the ad… just so pleasant and innocuous and NICE…
Candy said on 09.19.07 at 04:07 AM • [link]
I know! I’m trying to list all the things I noticed. So:
Choking the chicken
Going up the dirt track
Muddy fist
Donkey punching
A wet bitch? Video’s a bit too blurry for me to make out what sort of animal is in the tub
Cream pie (I can’t catch what that woman is saying right before he says that)
Back door
Teabagging
Hand shandy
Pig poker
Head
Beef curtains
Brown ball in the corner pocket
Sixty-nine
Dirty Sanchez (it would’ve been perfect if he’d been carrying out a hot lunch instead of what looked like a sandwich)
Meat sandwich
Ron Jeremy
Playing/blowing on the rusty trombone
Now, if they’d somehow fit in a Cleveland Steamer, I would’ve REALLY been impressed.
Robin L. Rotham said on 09.19.07 at 04:47 AM • [link]
OMG, I’m soooooooo naive! (hanging head) I can’t believe I didn’t get Ron Jeremy.
Soni said on 09.19.07 at 05:00 AM • [link]
Ah, well, let’s not forget:
Spit roast (double penetration) - that’s what the lady’s offering him on the way in.
Tradesman’s entrance (that would be the back door for us yanks)
Docking space stations (a more visual than verbal innuendo)
The stuffed animal is swallowing a sword, I think.
The pool player missed the pink and hit the brown.
Meat sandwich
I did see someone painting the place red, but it may have another connotation in the clip. Ah, yes - a quick jaunt over to the slang dictionary offers up “having the painters in,” which refers to that time of the month, the red paint driving the metaphor home. Interesting.
Edmund Schluessel said on 09.19.07 at 05:21 AM • [link]
Waxing the pole.
DebR said on 09.19.07 at 05:26 AM • [link]
According to the Urban Dictionary “wet dog in a tub” is when you try to insert both testicles into your partner’s anus. I knew that image had to stand for something, but I had to look it up…never heard of that phrase before! See…it’s an educational video. :-)
DebR said on 09.19.07 at 05:33 AM • [link]
Oh, another one I don’t think has been mentioned is the bar the guy goes to is called “Bell End” (‘nother word for Head).
Teddypig said on 09.19.07 at 05:50 AM • [link]
Learn several new things everyday.
Cori said on 09.19.07 at 05:58 AM • [link]
I believe the reference with the pig on the wall would be the infamous “pork sword.” Awesome commercial.
Jen C said on 09.19.07 at 06:05 AM • [link]
“insert both testicles into your partner’s anus”
Wait, people do that? That has never, ever, ever happened in any of my romance novels, or, for that matter, my butt.
Anna said on 09.19.07 at 07:24 AM • [link]
Wow. That is brilliant. The entire commercial falls under the heading of “don’t worry, folks. The kids don’t get it. And if they do, it’s not my fault.”
Cat Marsters said on 09.19.07 at 09:47 AM • [link]
Love it! I’m even learning new things.
taybug said on 09.19.07 at 10:15 AM • [link]
Damn, I only got a few of those! The Canadian commercial that started with the woman in the golden shower had way more references that I understood. It’s time to start traveling again so I can learn more sex slang ‘round the globe!
Kaz Augustin said on 09.19.07 at 10:17 AM • [link]
I am sooo naive it’s frightening. I think I only got (literally) 2 or 3 of these.
To make up for my obvious lack of education, may I offer up in compensation LOLCTHULHU. Yes, the Elder Gods meet LOLCats. Please direct your browsers to:
http://lolthulhu.com/
Mutatin Ur Villagers! Mwahahahahaha
DS said on 09.19.07 at 03:49 PM • [link]
Loved the video but loved the lolthulhu more. Thanks both.
SB Sarah said on 09.19.07 at 04:50 PM • [link]
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT IT HURTS TO LAUGH!
DAMN YOU CANDY!
OWWWWWWWWWW!
Michele said on 09.19.07 at 05:00 PM • [link]
Absolutely frickin’ hilarious! Caught quite a few of the naughty references but it is an extremely clever ad and well done.
Heloise (& Abelard) said on 09.19.07 at 05:11 PM • [link]
Am I the only one who totally didn’t get half of these?! Thank you so much for the explanations on the comments. I’m still going to have to look up a bunch of these.
I think the shuttle docking was the only one I was sure of! LOL! I am soooo old.
--E said on 09.19.07 at 07:42 PM • [link]
I’m astounded at how many I didn’t know. I could figure a lot from context, but clearly the Aussies are ahead of the Americans in the sexual metaphor slang department.
monimala said on 09.20.07 at 02:11 AM • [link]
Okay, the commercial made me laugh, though I only got half the references and just learned the other half from the comments here.
But the real LOL came from Jen C:
Wait, people do that? That has never, ever, ever happened in any of my romance novels, or, for that matter, my butt.
BWAHAHAHA.
Trix said on 09.20.07 at 12:54 PM • [link]
ARGH!
@—E - this is a kiwi ad. The Aussies are too busy playing monkey-see-monkey-do with retrograde social mores at present (not mentioning other countries around here in particular!) to show that kind of thing. NZ used to be well behind Oz with social liberality, but that has certainly changed.
Also, a “map of Tassie” (female anatomy) behind the pool table, and a poster of “Tony Danza” (stupid one).
[ball55 - I’d be exhaused!]
Keziah Hill said on 09.21.07 at 05:09 AM • [link]
ARGH!
@—E - this is a kiwi ad. The Aussies are too busy playing monkey-see-monkey-do with retrograde social mores at present (not mentioning other countries around here in particular!) to show that kind of thing. NZ used to be well behind Oz with social liberality, but that has certainly changed.
Sad but true. We’re having a General Election soon (if our conservative Prime Minister ever announces it) so maybe that will change. Please, please make it change!
Kaite said on 09.21.07 at 06:37 PM • [link]
I realized when they had some sort of sly allusion going on—had no idea what they meant, by and large, but I saw the winks.
I really need to read up on some of the more amusing slang terms out there….
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