Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Damn you, SBs! You are really appealing to my base desire for cheap, scurrilous gossip!

Now I’m dying to know who it was.  At least throw out some clues.

*blinks*

This would be the first I’ve heard of it, but I wasn’t actually at Nationals.

Even if it’s not true, the concept is still hilarious.  :snake:

I hope it’s true. And if it is, then damnit, I seriously want to meet that author.

Okay, okay.  I admit it.  It was me and Jill Monroe.  But we weren’t grabbing boobs…

I heard a similar story but haven’t been able to confirm.  That said, the incident I heard about involved a lesser known author - so not sure how juicy the gossip is….

Who needs alcohol?  That’s my normal behavior.

And really…I was just holding those drinks for other people.

My interest in this story rests primarily in the quality of the boob-grabbing. I mean, if she was just staggering around, more or less using them as handles to keep herself upright, I’m not too interested in that. Give me some real perversion and lechery, dammit!

Hell and damn!  I knew I shouldn’t have left early!  Haven’t heard this tasty bit - but I’ll keep my ear to the ground.

(I’m lying - it HAD to be Jill and Gena - oh, sure, they look like ‘nice’ girls from the midwest, but it’s a con, I tell you.  In fact, I’m pretty sure they were sizing up MY boobs, but alas, I was short shrifted and nowhere near stalwart enough to pique their interest.)

I bet if you took your shrift off entirely you’d have got some looks.

*I bet if you took your shrift off entirely you’d have got some looks.*

After two babies?  Not a chance.  Ah, youth - it’s wasted on the young.

Stef, with a 4(koff*koff)th birthday coming Saturday…

I mean, if she was just staggering around, more or less using them as handles to keep herself upright, I’m not too interested in that. Give me some real perversion and lechery, dammit!

Ahem. Please note the lack of gender-specific pronouns in my question.

That is all.

Ahem. Please note the lack of gender-specific pronouns in my question.

Hm…I’m not sure whether the ambiguity makes it more interesting or less.

Totally less, Ana, don’tcha think?  A man staggering around, grabbing boobs is so *yawn* not interesting, or particularly surprising.  But a woman - well, that’s quite titillating, isn’t it?

(hehe, I said titillating…)

Hee!

Y’know, Stef, I almost said that exact same thing, was even typing:

Man gets drunk, plays grab-ass (or grab tit)... nah, that’s not news, ask any cocktail waitress

I erased it and opted not to because I thought to myself, Self, you’re being a sexist bee-yotch talking like that, you’d be pissed if some man said that all women do is eat chocolate and talk on the phone, stereotpying is le eeeeeeee-vil

Then I ate some chocolate and called my best friend to bitch about some shit. :D

I think I need to attend more parties that may result in the off chance of a drunken romance author staggering around groping her colleagues.  I just don’t get that opportunity up here in Cheese Capital, Wisconsin.  If cheese could be fermented for the purposes of getting sloshed, the dedicated students at UW-Madison would have discovered it by now.

oh boy!

The two authors who gave me full RWA reports went to that party. They didn’t mention the incident and now I have to email them AT ONCE to find out if either of them was involved.

I think whoever did it (or maybe someone who didn’t) should step forward and admit it. This kind of wild-and-crazy event apparently is as good as a rotten review for boosting one’s career.

Ooh, didn’t see this before. Happy (early) birthday, Stef!

Ana, with a 3(koff*koff)th birthday coming in 12 days…

PS - lovelysalome, I’m going to make every effort to be at the next RWA convention, so I can help you out with an author grope, but I won’t be drunk when I do it.

Stef - I just talked with Gena Showalter, and we’d be honored to grab your boobseses at the next Harlequin party!!

*Ooh, didn’t see this before. Happy (early) birthday, Stef!*

Thanks, Ana - back atcha!

*Stef - I just talked with Gena Showalter, and we’d be honored to grab your boobseses at the next Harlequin party!!*

I’d be honored.  Thank you.  I’ll wear my special Vicky’s oil bra for the occasion.  Just watch the jewelry, so’s you don’t poke a hole and make me start gushing a bubbling crude.

Stef, now thoroughly titillated

(hehe, I said titillated again…)

SB Sarah—Now you’re really tempting me to attend.

Hmmm….I wonder if this incident involved a RWA member of the male persuasion?  That opens up a whole new range of possibilities.

Who’s in?

Memememememememememememe, oooh, oooh, pick me, pick me!

And the peasants have to bring the mojitos.

I was at RWA. The details of this story are so close to what I personally witnessed that I think the only incorrect detail is that it was an author. I was at the HQN party for a bit and did not see that behavior (wait, I’ll get to it) but I returned to the hotel and went to the bar where a number of authors were gathered, as well as a male editor. An author friend was there, too. A bit later, an extremely well known agent arrived, and she was smashed out of her gourd. She looked at my busty friend, said, “boobies!” and then groped her. She was then all over the male editor. Her behavior was disgraceful.

Disgraceful doesn’t sound fun at all :(

I back up Aspy’s version. That’s all I’m saying.

*Disgraceful doesn’t sound fun at all :(*

Or titillating.  Bummer that.  Truthfully, as one who’s had my share of wrestling with alcohol, and alcohol winning, I feel very, very sorry for whomever this person is - and will now stop joking about it.

In other news, I am SO in for an SB party, drunken or otherwise.  I guess, as a peasant, I’ll be forced to bring mojitos, even though I’ll be drinking Diet Coke - but I’ll share cigarettes out in the parking lot….

(yes, I admit it - I’m one of thoooose…)

It must be the editor at Virgin who was the gropee. Someone else said that he was “hot” and inspiring for hero material. Plus, I can’t help but wonder if he has a British accent.  That’s all it takes for us American girls. 

We need a pic of this guy.  Like now.  I don’t even care who else is involved in this salacious bit because stuff like this goes on at all RWAs.  One that I attended included a female author making a fool of herself over a male guest too.  Let’s see some proof of hotness, I say.

Bob Mayer.

What?  What?  Someone got all gropey over Bob Mayer?  This story just keeps getting better and better!  Thank goodness it’s not, like, all over the Internet or anythi…

Wait a minute…

Ooops.

Oh, and if the peasants are bringing the mojitos, I’ll be there.

Sincerely, Twitterpants.

It’s funny but Hello’s answer was the first name that popped into my head when I read this because Candy didn’t make it gender specific.  Then I thought about how many male authors would be at the RWA and only 3 names hit me.  Didn’t Nicolas Sparks join RWA and then the only other guy I know is from a writing team from years ago.

All the same, what would any of these guys be doing at an HQN party?

CindyS

it was not an author.  it was not the harlequin party.  it was at the hotel.  it was a very well known agent.  i was there at the bar in question and not only did i witness the VDA (very drunk agent) grasp at the boobage of a very nice writer but i also witnessed a VDW (very drunk writer) draping herself all over her editor to the point where he was practically running away from her.  there was a blue feather boa involved as a prop by both the VDA and the VDW.  the agent is still a great agent just a little on the toasted side that night but the writer should think twice about such action especially when trying to get new book contracts from mr. editor. and that’s all i’m saying

I heard the same story In the Know is talking about.  Someone who was there and witnessed the drunk agent and drunk writer.  Embarassing for all involved.

geez, it’s not that bad. I mean no one actually threw up on anyone or exposed flesh or made everyone in the bar sing “Aude Lang Syne” over the phone to an exboyfriend in Brussels who was trying to get some sleep.

It sounds like an incident that could show up in Lucky Jim which I’d read to a child.

Why, back in My Day, it wasn’t a scandal unless someone actually slept with someone or perhaps got into a fight tbat resulted in scars or got arrested.

Pfah. Scandals these days.

I might as well be one of those elderly Georgian Ladies who always rails about milk-and-water misses of the Regency era.

Kate, not as old as all that but feeling older

Why, back in My Day, it wasn’t a scandal unless someone actually slept with someone or perhaps got into a fight tbat resulted in scars or got arrested.

Absolutely. Shoot, I get groped in WalMart all the time- because the aisles are always so crowded, not because I’m so gropeable.

Bob Mayer at the Harlequin Party with Jenny Crusie. Not “with” her, but as her writing partner.  It’s like RWA Clue!

Damnit.  Why doesn’t anyone CALL me when boobs are being groped?  I’m totally in the mood to be on the receiving end of a good, thorough groping.  Damn, damn, damn.

Damn…just stumbled across this blog and post…where was I?? Was I in the wrong bar? Which bar are we talking about? I spent too many quality hours in bars at RWA to have missed something this good.

I wasn’t at RWA, but I write for Black Lace, so I assume the Virgin editor you’re all talking about is my editor, Adam Nevill.

And yes, he is v. nice! Tall, with a shaven head, very striking and very personable…

I have a small pic of him from a magazine, but it doesn’t do him justice. He’s much more handsome in the flesh.

Sounds like good material for a novel…especially if there ends up being a secret baby involved.

If it’s the story I heard, the editor was American, not British, and there was most definitely exposed flesh involved.

fifty bucks says the editor was Chris Kessler (sp?)

I will check with Adam to see if it was him! :)

I was there for some of the aforementioned VDA behavior.  Really, what I saw wasn’t THAT bad - then again, anyone knows me knows I have pretty high standards for truly scandalous behavior.  She was just drunk and silly.  Professional, no, but hey, we all have to let our hair down sometime. I’m with Kate - it’s not truly a scandal unless there is public nudity or adultery involved.

Bingo to guessing game.

Not so much a scandal but poor judgment and bad behavior in public that gets people like us talking.

What is it with the men’s names being tossed around?  That’s no fun!  That’s the kind of office happenings that could accidentally wind up at any given corporate Christmas party.  In an industry populated by some astronomical percentage of females, I was certain of much more hot lez action.  I HAVE a man - if I go to nationals, it won’t be to have a flirt with a different one!  Gimme tipsy girl-on-girl dancing, dammit!

Ok, I was the woman who got groped by a same sex agent (who shall remain nameless) at the bar in Atlanta (unless she was on a tear, groping everyone in sight?). How on earth did that story migrate here? My friends and I had a slightly horrified laugh about it at the bar (grateful that she’s wasn’t our agent) and I never heard another word about it.

And yes, my boobs are big, but when a woman you don’t know squeals “boobies” and then grabs a handful it’s a little disconcerting (but funny; I’m sick that way). It’s even funnier when she looks down, sees your first sale ribbon (hand still on boobs) and slurs, “Wha’cha sell?” Like she’s still somehow in business mode. LOL!

I didn’t see a drunk writer with a boa draped over poor Chris Keesler (or the publisher of Black Lace), but I did witness the same plastered agent who was so enamored of my “dirty pillows” clinging to Chris like a monkey in a banyan tree.

Ha! Chris Keesler got my sloppy seconds. *GIGGLE*

Yes, Tonda’s boobs are real, and they’re spectacular. And they were displayed quite magnificently that night, so I can’t really blame VDA for groping them.

I didn’t get to go this year.

But I’ll smoke with Stef outside next year. And attend any party the SB’s throw. ;-)

And take pics of anything Gena and Jill are doing for possible blackmail later. hehehe

I’d love to go to an SB party.  I’ll smoke outside with stef and jaci too.  Oh, and I don’t know how to make mojitos but I can make a meeeaaaannn Lynchburg Lemonade.

Y’all make it sound so fun that it’s almost worth taking up smoking. ;-)

I didn’t witness any groping in the bar, but I saw some obviously intoxicated women dancing together. A couple of guys who weren’t associated with the conference were snapping camera phone photos of them.

If the RWA conference is held in Vegas, will the slogan hold true or will there be Ted like postings of the goings on all over the internet?

It’d be awesome if we had a SmartBitches party. I wonder if there’d be a way to get some SBTB pins made up ahead of time for people to wear on their badges? That way, we’d be able to spot each other in elevators and around the conference.

I don’t think anything stays in Vegas either, Jane. ;-)

And a Lynchburg Lemonade sounds really good!

Y’all make it sound so fun that it’s almost worth taking up smoking.

Give in to the peer pressure!  lol j/k

Okay, I was in the bar and I did see VDA because she was dancing around singing Britney Spears and calling me a pussy for ordering a Green Apple Martini. I also saw VDW who was indeed draped all over said Editor, who apparently she hooked up with at a previous conference. At least that’s the rumor I heard. Sorry, I missed the hot British editor. Damn, I shouldn’t have skipped the workshop he was in to scarf free books.

Ooooooooooooo, a Smart Bitches Party. Can we have one in Dallas?

i was there at the bar in question and not only did i witness the VDA (very drunk agent) grasp at the boobage of a very nice writer but i also witnessed a VDW (very drunk writer) draping herself all over her editor to the point where he was practically running away from her.

Hehe.

Yup. That’s what I saw, too.

I second the opinion of Adam Neville being very hot—I was at the workshop on erotica where he spoke… and frankly, with that accent, he could have started reciting the alphabet or reading the white pages, and I wouldn’t have cared in the least.

Mmm…

Ahem. S’cuse me while I go douse myself with ice cubes, wouldya? *g*

Well, sheeet!  I’m going to have to get myself to RWA one of these days.  Sounds like a party to me.

I wasn’t even at the hotel when all of this went down (went out to dinner with friends) and the minute we walked into the hotel, we were bombarded with people saying we should go check out VDA grabbing breasts and VDW slobbering all over her editor and him trying to evade her.  We all thought it was best to go to bed.  Now I wish I had checked it out.

Jane said…
It must be the editor at Virgin who was the gropee. Someone else said that he was “hot” and inspiring for hero material. Plus, I can’t help but wonder if he has a British accent.

Adam!  He is a doll and very sweet, too.  I wouldn’t mind him playing around in my fantasies.  Maybe the agent in question was hoping to make some good erotica contacts for her clients, er somethin’.