Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Oh what a lovely treat for a Monday morning.  Even though it’s beautifully sunny outside today I really enjoyed the Christmas setting.  Isn’t Turnip a gem?  “He was happy just to fetch things from high shelves and fight off the odd villain”  Bless him.

Am I being awfully pedantic to mention that a British character probably wouldn’t have know what a rutabaga was?  We call them swedes.

OMG, that was just utterly delightful! Thanks so much for sharing this with us—I’m still smiling.

Whew! 

Well worth the wait! Turnip, poor lovely dear, is one of my favorite characters and he deserves his scene—this scene.  And his Arabella.

That was worth getting up at 6am for, high praise if you knew how I felt about early morning. 

Yay for Turnip!

That was an absolute & unexpected delight this Monday morning. Many thanks to Lauren Willig for making my day !
And Alex, no it’s not pedantic to say that we refer to rutabaga’s as swede….I had to look up rutabaga to see what it was !

Alex and Cate, thanks for pointing that out about the rutabaga!  Ooops.  I have to admit, I mostly included rutabaga because the word is so silly…. 

Hmm, any suggestions for an alternative vegetable?  Maybe aubergine?  I’m afraid if I put “swede” in there, people will think there are random Scandinavians wandering around the barn! : )

“It did a body good.”  ROTFLOL!

“Your breasts are like puddings” might be my favorite line ever!

Maybe aubergine?  I’m afraid if I put “swede” in there, people will think there are random Scandinavians wandering around the barn! : )

I doubt whether aubergines (Am. eggplant) were known or used much here in the early 19thC.  How about mangel-wurzel, an extremely silly word, which is a large, beet-like root vegetable used as animal fodder?

I enjoyed the passage.  Reminded me of P.G. Wodehouse in places — and that is a compliment!

There are a couple of other Americanisms, e.g. ‘obligate’ (we say ‘oblige’), but nothing to worry about.

:-D

See, I already knew Lauren Willig was awesome…but this just makes her even more so.

Fandamntastic!

That was so totally worth the wait!  Turnip is swiftly making his way past the dark/broody types to the top of my favorite heroes list.  Thank you thank you thank you to Ms Willig for indulging some some bitches!

That was fantastic!  “The only virgin he’d ever slept with was himself.” Heeeeeeeeee.

Thanks to Lauren - I just finished the book this weekend, so this was perfect timing.  Thoroughly enjoyed both, looking forward to reading your other books.

PERFECT!  Today is my first day back after an extended vacation and this was just the thing to ease me back into the real world.  (Does that make sense??!!)  Anyhow, I thoroughly enjoyed it - Lauren, I love your humorous erotica!  You’ve invented a new genre!

Lauren - that was wonderful! Sweet and funny and so Turnip-y!
What a great way to start my Monday morning.

This was totally fab.

The only virgin he’d ever slept with was himself.

My favourite line too.
thank you so much for that. Here in Sctoland, we call turnip neeps, which is sillier than aubergine though not as good as mangel wurzill (didn’t the wurzills sing I’ve Got a Brand New Combine Harvester?).

Ooh Arr Marguerite, the Wurzels certainly did rock Combine Harvester to the tune of Brand New Roller Skates !....Now I’ll be humming that tune for the rest of the day

That was brilliant and lovely!  A great way to begin the week!

LOL oh my…Lauren Willig might be in danger of gaining me as a fangirl. I’m already enjoying her novels so very much, and this was just too cute. Don’t worry, I only stalk a little.

So what do the British call the people native to the land of Sweden? (And is it printable? ;)

Stockholm is the capital city of the distant land of Rutabaga, noted chiefly for its fine architecture, many scenic islands, and decorative vegetables…

Thank you so much for the wonderful gift!!  Lauren and Sarah-simply you both are the best!!

What a wonderful way to greet a Monday, but with this lovely story… thank you

So what do the British call the people native to the land of Sweden?

We call ‘em Swedes.  ;-)  The vegetables are associated with Sweden.  According to my dictionary, swedes (rutabagas) are so-called in BE from the early 19thC, having first been introduced into Scotland from Sweden in 1781-2.
And the etymology of the American term, ‘rutabaga’ is from a Swedish dialect word, rotabagge, which I imagine went into AE (American English) via Scandinavian settlers.  So it all makes more sense than one might think at first.
And mangel-wurzel (or mangold) is, of course, German, Wurzel being a German word for ‘root’.
:-D

Oh, I need some help from the Bitchery!  I’ve only just finished The Deception of the Emerald Ring so I’m nowhere near ready to read Turnip’s book.  I want to read this so badly but do I dare having not read Mischief of the Mistletoe yet?  I don’t want to spoil it but this is like having a big old piece of chocolate cake (or pudding, as the case may be) in front of me and not being able to eat it!

How awesome and charming!  Possibly the sweetest love scene ever.  Thank you thank you to Lauren and Sarah and the winning designer. 

I second Tanya’s question - can Mischief of the Mistletoe be read out of order?  Is it at all stand alone?  I really, really want to read it now, but haven’t started the pink carnation series.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Smart Bitches and the inimitable Lauren Willig, for turning my perfectly horrid Monday completely around with this gem. I can’t tell you how much I needed this and how much good it did me to laugh out loud in the middle of my office. Just naming his estate Parva Magna put me in stitches. It was all so Turnip—but also so incredibly sweet! Thanks so much for restoring the Missing Sexytimes of Turnip Fitzhugh!

Capcha: were88: There were at least 88 things that made me laugh!

Oops, on closer reading I see that Tanya and I had slightly different questions.  I haven’t read MotM yet but I just ploughed ahead and read the sex scene (didn’t even occur to me to deny myself - sure that says something about me but not sure what).

Hi, Cleo!  You can absolutely read “Mistletoe” by itself.  The other books all have a modern framing character whose story moves very, very slowly, but “Mistletoe” is modern-free (modernically challenged?).  Anyway, it’s just the historical story, so it can be read alone without missing anything or having to say, “huh?”

Hi, Tanya!  “Mistletoe” is a little out of order (I put its ideal reading location as in between “Crimson Rose” and “Night Jasmine”, since it actually takes place before/concurrently with “Night Jasmine”).  The only thing I can think of that would be a spoiler if you read this scene before “Mistletoe” is that Arabella and Turnip get together (probably not a huge shocker).  Likewise, I think you’re safe jumping into “Mistletoe” pre-“Crimson Rose”.  Only spoiler there is that by “Mistletoe” Lord Vaughn is married—but if you read the back of “Crimson Rose”, you’ll know to whom. : )

I really liked it! Now I’m going to have to go out and buy the book.

Delightful and delicious…just like everything else LW writes! Thanks so much for the extra slice of life from Turnip & Arabella.

Wonderful! A thoroughly enjoyable romp in the hay. Very sweet and sexy too.
As to the discussion of root vegetables above, I’m now wracking my brains to remember what British fictional character used to address people as “My dear old mangel-wurtzel…” I’m not sure if it was Bertie Wooster or Lord Peter Wimsey.
Dang it, now it’s going to bug me until I figure it out.  Anyway, I really enjoyed this little bit of Turnip and Arabella lagniappe.

AgTigress, I cannot tell you how much I adore the word “Mangel-Wurzel”.  That may have to become a character name in the next Pink book….  It’s too good not to use.

Aha! It was Lord Peter Wimsey, in “Strong Poison.”

And I agree with the earlier commenter—“your breasts are like puddings” is an excellent line. So very Turnip.

Saving it until I hear the story (found it at Half Price books on audio). Can’t wait! Will buy the rest as e-books. Thank you to the author and all of you for making it happen!

So much fun!  I’m going to print it out and save it with my copy of “Mischief”.  And I think Mangel-Wurzel should definitely be either an upcoming character or a tiny hamlet in the wilds of Shropshire, possibly a rotten borough.
And I just want to add, I really hope we get Sally’s story at some point (like when she’s, you know, legal) as she and her friends were some of my favorite supporting characters ever in the book.

Lauren Willig is such a delight as a writer.  What a fun thing to do (and for us to read!), thank you so much!

That was absolutely adorable- possibly even adorkable.

Lauren I loved it.  It was worth the wait.  I really wanted to read it this morning but pesky things like work an a child got in the way.

AgTigress in the South we use the work oblige.  It is more common up in the mountains.  People often say “I wouldn’t want to be obligin’” When they have to ask for help or a favor.  They then offer something that might be needed r is a kind gesture.

What an awesome thing to do.

On the nomenclature front, I am almost positive I have seen the term rutabaga in British books, or at least one book, though of course I can’t remember which one.  From a pastoral scene in Trollope, maybe? But I seem to recall reading that when turnips were first introduced they were not popular, and even in the 1900s it was difficult to induce people to plant them.  They were promoted as a crop rotation thing, maybe? There was confusion about the names, botanical and common, and whether different strains were different vegetables…Weren’t they mostly used as cattle fodder? Where on earth did these impressions come from?  I refuse to believe I’ve devoted any of my free time to reading about historical attitudes towards the turnip, and yet…

Adorable!!

LizW68, you just creepily read my mind!  (But creepily in a good way?)  I just spent part of this afternoon trying to figure out if I could swing hopping ahead to 1811 to write a story about Sally without giving people chronological whiplash.

Oh, that was so, so, so, so awesome! Parva Magna… milk does a body good… I’ve got to get Mistletoe now, even though I’m not that far along in the series yet. Plus reading about December might make me feel better about the 101 degree heat here!

Capture: youre73 - yes, I’m 73 degrees above winter weather in England…

Lauren Willig did a wonderful job on that love scene! I read her whole spy series this winter. The books are so entertaining! Thank you, Sarah, for suggesting the love scene idea!

Fun! Thank you Lauren, Sarah and Joyce :)

@ kkw - just did a quick search on the Works of Anthony Trollope on my Kindle - no rutabagas. It is not the *complete* works, so rutabagas may be lurking in some of the nonfiction or more obscure short stories, but not in any of the major works. No swedes, either, but there are 27 references to turnips, which are favorably compared to mangels.

I think The Golden Mangel-Wurzel should be Turnip’s spy name now. After all, he’s just proven himself, shouldn’t he be allowed to join the network now? ;-)

Thank you Lauren for this wonderful scene.  I read it two days ago and I am still chuckling to myself over the “He was the only virgin he had ever slept with” line.  I am in awe at your use of language.  Thank you Sarah for suggesting it.