Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Vampries have parts
That are long and very white
And I don’t mean teeth

I am a vampire
My big part is not so white
You want to taste it?

Stop staring at
That juicy young thing and
Bite me already

Undead you may be
But I bet I have enough
Blood for both of us

A vampire bites me
I come twice as he does it
Come back, I have more

Damn, now I’m one too
I want a man titty slave
Where shall I bite him?

Fiends? Fangs nibble necks
Head turned, long soft throat exposed
Skin broken to bliss

Friends?  Futile struggle
Hot, vile eyes gloat as blood drains
A sneer, mocking life

Gwynnyd

Bite me in moonlight
Sorry I just ate garlic
To bad hungry again

Fangs erupt
In carnal anticipation
Eternal embrace

~ * ~

Joined as one
Two souls collide
Crimson ties

“Come get bit!” they said
Endless sex, days free for soaps
Plus no morning breath.

Hickies getting bad
Anemia as STD?
Damn your eyes, Anne Rice.

Must think emo… Dark Dark, I call upon the power of Goth… yes! yes! Black Lipstick! I feel like Robert Smith! Fassssscccccinaaaaation Streeeeeet…

Dark lovers passion
Fangs pierce deep into my soul
All is fading now

so sick of vampires
i just might puke puke puke puke
i just want to puke

~~~
(all the same, teddy’s poem is beautiful…)

Spikey Fangs
Ripped abs and hard cocks
Suck what?

Big bad vampire males
Angsty emo tears, oh my!
Gotta love ‘em, true?

LKH no more
Remember Anita Blake
The sound of sucking

I’m horrible with Haiku, but here are my efforts:

Blood all around me,
Waiting for sweet surrender
I lie in his arms.

**********

Vampire lover boy—
Anita Blake, who’s that b*tch?
Forget her, take me!

Oh, golly! What a field of contenders! Let’s see. . .

Stalking silly girls
In darkness, ending their lives
I miss eating fruit

Should have worked out more
Now deathless and eternal
doughy midsection

Sex with the undead
Makes for pleasure all night long
And tastes like iron

Vampire mantitty
Cold white flesh makes me quiver
Like type A? Bite me!

You bit me, so hot
Now we’re bound—eternally
Fuckity fuck fuck

You kiss my bite, baby
Now let’s go find some dinner
Tasty tots, perhaps?

Hard drinking lover
with sharp pointy teeth and black
leather pants, you dig?

My neck he doth prick
But I am juicy elsewhere
Come, I want some dick!

Picky about vamps
Before I sink into them
They gotta have teeth

What I want to know
Is when the vampire men
Said “Emo is cool”?

If my bloodsucker
Always cries more than I do,
Pass me the garlic.

Immortal villian
Bite clouds your mind with darkness
Blood drips down neck

Fingers entwined and
Legs wrapped ‘round your waist.  Teeth at
Your throat.  Impale me!

((Can we post more than one entry? If so…))

The sexy male vamp
Falls for the all-powerful
Magic va-jay-jay.

Much sexxin’ ensues
The blood and man-juice are thick:
All hail the true mate!

My vampire lover,
Afraid I’ll never see you—
I work the day shift.

ok my poetry sucks (lol)!

Darkness falls, I wait
My vampire will soon be here
I can has hickey?

I’ve got another one, a series even.

Cheer up emo kid
Fake vampire fangs aren’t cool
Real deal is better

Black clothes and make-up
Do not make you a vampire
You must be undead

The angst and dark pain
Is a very good start though
Next step, blood sucking

I like this game.

Dracula, Jean-Claude
Edward, Vayl, Nick Knight, Kisten—
All are sexy beasts.

Oh, blood sucking man
Your angst is a real downer
Please, go get some sun

His eyes speak “Undead”;
His mouth is crimson; his pants—
Nosferatu Lives!

If I loved undead,
I would lose my best heat source;
Undead skin is cold.

I don’t have to fear
When my boyfriend bites my neck;
He ain’t got no fangs.

Whoa, these came out more emo than I anticipated! 

**

He is old pennies
and undead dust in my mouth:
Haemovore fetish.

**

Moonlight birthed your sin,
sunshine immolates my shame:
Liminal outcasts. 

**

And an extra for the lols, not to be judged . . .

Vampire boyfriend,
please find an undead dentist.
I’m sick of “love bites.”

Cowboys, shieks and Dukes
Are antique heros. Give me
Wang Everlasting.

::longer38! OMG

Oh lame emo boy
Trent Reznor would kick your ass
Don’t wear manliner.

my spamcatcher is: COLD83

cold… like a vampire’s undead flesh.

Dang, I don’t envy the judges of this contest!  Too many wonderful entries!

Oh hey, sweet thang, I
got your wooden stake right here…
Get lost. Vampires suck.

When it comes to international poetic styles with high potential for satire, and limited syllable counts, I prefer limericks to haiku (it’s so much easier to write about Nantucket). But I’ll do anything for free books.  Here’s my stab at haiku:

Mate!” “Fate!” “I’m a beast”
Vampire conversation is
Limited, at least.

Sure, he is high strung
But his great salvation is
He’s rich and well hung.

________________________
And, here’s an extra written in my preferred mode of poetic expression:

There once was a moody young fellow
Who wore black and was never mellow
He got bit by a vamp,
Then sucked blood like a champ
Shouting “Mate!” when a girl waved hello.

Poetry was never a stong suit.

ma petite, ma petite, ugh
words that make me look for a stake
Angel was way hot, though

Broody, moody, pale,
Half a pound of eyeliner?
That ain’t no vampire.

Vampires are kick-ass.
They crave blood, not attention.
(They crave virgins too.)

Virgins, listen up:
Perhaps if you’re fortunate
You’ll get sucked by one.

Vampires like the blood.
Equal opportunity
suckers too. Oh yes.

Oh, Mr. Vampire!
Please, show us your long white - fangs.
We all love long things.

One is a vampire
The other is a slayer
Whedon did it best.

Gold eyes gleam darkness
I wait to breathe death, throat bared
In you I see light

+++++++++++++++++

Soul-less wanderer
I give you my blood, my life
you make me your own

I wait, Constantine
For your return. …Now where’s
The bloody sequel?

*

Eric, Edward, Con –
Why can’t real men be like them?
Such pesky details.

*

But answer me this:
Must you really bite my neck?
I gush blood each month!

*

(The first one is a response to Robin McKinley’s [brilliant] novel, Sunshine.)

Blood, love, lust, fear, sex.
Black and white words on a page.
Makes me feel naughty.

I’m fair-skinned Irish
You’re Un-dead and pasty white
Which one needs a tan?

I never thought I’d
Learn to love the benefits
of garlic powder

Old cliche story
Same old characters written
Vampires get old

Much better to have
A hot hero who sucks blood
Than one who just sucks

Haven’t done this since high school and, well, here are my official entries:

A pulse, one beat more
Mine, sweet lover of dark blood
Good to the last drop
~~~~~
I see you, lover,
At dusk, not dawn, when you strike
With your teeth for blood

~~~~~

But this, THIS, has taken on a life of its own:

Awash in anguish
Too many rabid fan girls
Mourn sullen vampires

Only two stanzas
Must follow bitchery rules
I am stuck on suck

Bitches, I can’t stop
The rest of my days spent in
Vampire haiku hell!

I like vampires
Especially when
They fight back a bit

A Haiku I wrote while waiting for Lover Unbound to be released:

Vampires – Family
Bound together by honor
Black Dagger Brothers

Watch death unfold as
Its own act of creation.
Your blood is now mine.

~~~~~

I thought you were cool.
What is that stuck in your teeth?
Vampires need floss, too.

~~~~~

Srsly, I’m trying to cut back, but there’s still 47 minutes until curtain call. This contest has triggered a latent or heretofore unknown jones for haiku. I may have to start my own 12-step program.

Hey!  It’s so not 4:00pm Pacific Time yet!

Tom Cruise is so much
Better with fangs and evil
Grin - bring it back, please!

Bela Lugosi
Was cool even in capes, and
Occult, not a cult.

I wanna vote!
Can I say lovelysalome and Angelina made me guffaw? I can has hickey?
Special mention for the rebel Bettie and her limerick.

Ack! My mother schemed,
Found “nice” Jewish boy for me:
Schlomo, the vampire.

No crucifix-up,
This deathless schmuck won’t go.  Must
be staken, not Star’d.

Not exactly a poetry master, but I figured I’d try

Everything with vamps -
Teeth, Problems, love staff, ego, emo -
Is ginormous. Ouch.

(12 minutes! 12 minutes until 4 pm pacific time!)

I just want the prize:
Sink my teeth into a book,
Much better than flesh.

Desire draws me near
Ravished by moonlit cold hands
Liberated wish

ergh. i can do maths, too. *smacks head* sorry. (18 minutes. it was 18 minutes when i started. curses.)

Blood bathing a tongue
Better than rich, dark Merlot
Scarlet drunkenness

Biting thirst that kills
Or brings the life eternal
Which one will it be?