A truth about old-skool romances, as expressed in LOLCAT format….

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by Candy | by Candy | May 31, 2007 | Thursday at 4:43 pm | 17 Comments

Rape Is Imminent

But it’s only because he loves her and can’t resist her, am i rite?

Filed: Random Musings

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Katia said on 05.31.07 at 05:27 PM • [link]

Magic kitty hoo-ha? Eek.
spinsterwitch said on 05.31.07 at 05:48 PM • [link]

And she will come to see that he is really a dark troubled soul that only her hoo-ha can heal!
Jen C said on 05.31.07 at 05:54 PM • [link]

Hey, it’s not his fault his broad shoulders and giant cock need a lady
Charlene said on 05.31.07 at 06:33 PM • [link]

Actually, it’s all her fault.
Darlene Marshall said on 05.31.07 at 06:40 PM • [link]

Naw, it’s not her fault. She can’t help it that his mother was a skank tabby who had a catnip problem, and his father…well, let’s just say his father was absent from his life.

He needs her magic kitty hoo-ha to redeem him, but only after he suffers and grovels for her love.
Najida said on 05.31.07 at 06:43 PM • [link]

Ok, it looks like kitty porn to me!
Castiron said on 05.31.07 at 07:19 PM • [link]

Najida, I think you’re right. Look at the clear and obvious age difference between the two….

[goes off to bleach brain]
Stephanie said on 05.31.07 at 07:39 PM • [link]

So, so wrong and yet so, so right. It is taking the mightiest of efforts to reign in my laughter and thus keep my job for yet another day.
Nanna said on 05.31.07 at 08:28 PM • [link]

Ahahahahaha! The comments, the comments kill me!

You know that if this blog was on Livejournal, you’d totally be deleted, right?
Jenyfer said on 05.31.07 at 10:10 PM • [link]

Or maybe he just needs a snack??
Ann Wesley Hardin said on 06.01.07 at 12:06 AM • [link]

Gimme some o’dat pussy!

Holy crap. There’s beer on my keyboard now.
Nathalie said on 06.01.07 at 05:19 AM • [link]

Thank you, SB, for a) ruining my eyesight forever, and b) costing me a fortune in therapy.

“But, you should’ve seen it, doc, that cat was so HUGE and brooding and kinda sexy…and the little one, so leetle and innocent as she impotently hit his hard, hard chest and fell into the deep mist of his gray gaze…”
karibelle said on 06.01.07 at 05:34 AM • [link]

It is totally not his fault! He completely mistook her for a kitty-whore. I mean, look at her. He didn’t realize his grievous error until he got at least halfway in and encountered *gasp* a MAIDENHEAD!!!!!
Jess said on 06.01.07 at 07:48 AM • [link]

You know that if this blog was on Livejournal, youâ€™d totally be deleted, right?

Well, it didn’t mention Lolita, so it’s safe, I think. ;)

You know, I’ve seen more cat macro thingies this week when I do in a year…and I belong to a cat community. *snort* And sadly the poor female kitty is not alone. Think of chil—, er, kittens! Just don’t ask for a support group.
Claudia said on 06.02.07 at 07:39 AM • [link]

Oh noes!
Charlene said on 06.03.07 at 08:52 AM • [link]

She’s so teeny! I just want to scoop her up and protect her!

Note to self: do not drink and visit the Smart Bitches.
Cal Ormene said on 06.03.07 at 09:28 AM • [link]

Sheâ€™s so teeny! I just want to scoop her up and protect her!

You got it! Stay on that thought.

Voice of debil on left shoulder:
She’s so childlike. If you rape her, you’ll be her FIRST. Those other big macho brutes who clank when they walk? They’ll know you’ve claimed her. Then you clap a chastity belt on her and go on Crusade. She’ll run your household and never see her privates. It’ll be great. She’ll still be childlike when you get back so you can rape, abandon, repeat.

Voice of angel on right shoulder:
Violence is not the answer. Treat her gently. Hold her down and pleasure her with tender brutality. Make her a woman. Teach her to fear you and need you. Come morn your manly juices will dribble down her leg. Your territory will be marked. When you go a-pillaging, stick her in a convent. She’ll be atremble for her soul now you’ve taught her earthly delights.