Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Reviewed by Erastes

“O wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beautious mankind is! O brave new world That has such people in’t!”

Miranda.  The Tempest Act V, Scene I:

I first read this book at least 35 years ago and at the time it was very much “science fiction” but Huxley was well ahead of his time; He took the hints of his own world (this was written in 1932) such as recreational drugs, sexual freedoms and mass manufacturing and did what good spec-fic writers do - pushed them into the future and imagined what the consequences of them would be.

Huxley’s Brave New World is a faux-Utopia (The World State) where the populace is controlled. They are grown in vitro, raised in specialist nurseries and they are both “natured and nurtured” to fit into their place in society and the work they do. Humans are graded from Alpha to Epsilon, and everyone’s happy to be the grade they are, due to successful brain washing.

I’m so glad I’m a Beta…..Alpha children wear grey They work much… read more »

Shenis

Janet Mullany sent me a fascinating link to the the Shenis, and I have to ask: why is it 12” long, and WHY is it GOLD? A goldmember purely to assist women with peeing? I could do without the uber-permed ladies demonstrating the Shenis’ powers of pee projection, but the unit does have its uses.

On vacation with Hubby a few years ago, we drove from San Francisco to LA & Palm Springs, and of course we stopped at the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo. We weren’t there to eat, sleep, shop, party or visit - we were there to pee.

Imagine my disappointment when the ladies’ room was boring boring boring, while Hubby got to pee in a freaking waterfall. NO FAIR. NO FAIR.

The worst was that we’d visited the Good Vibrations store in San Francisco a few days prior, and I’d seriously thought about buying a soft pack. I don’t have any predilection for gender switching personally, but it looked from the sample that I could potentially pee through the soft pack. I couldn’t verify that possibility, but hey, we were on a road trip, and being able to pee on the side of… read more »

LOLBabies

Graceful curtsy to Lorelie for sending me the link that will keep my sleep-deprived self amused for days: LOLBabies. I can has breastmilk?

Strike?

Seems the tv and movie writers who are part of the Writer’s Guild of America is preparing to strike against the industry over contract issues such as ‘compensation for new media (translation: Internet downloads)’ possibly as soon as November 1.

Which is a right royal smackdown to the industry, as it comes before tv seasons are fully written. Now, this obviously isn’t about romance novels, but just imagine the crap that culd find its way to the tv set if a writer’s strike goes into effect.

Dick full. My need? Bang her mum.

I love people who have way too much time in their hands. Some intrepid folks decided to transcribe a Dutch children’s song into English phonetics, and the result is…well, you have to check it out for yourself.

Video and sung words are completely work-safe. The subtitles? Not so much with the work safeness.

Help a Bitch Out: They’re coming out of the woodwork!

Bitchery reader Elyssa wrote me to say she has two books she can’t find:

I actually have two books that I’ve been looking for and my usual great memory has been failing with these two.  I know I haven’t dreamt these up, at least I don’t think I did.  I read—-or should I say stole—-this book from my mom’s nightstand, and I’ve been looking for it everywhere.  I’m sure it won’t live up to my memory since part of the allure was reading the book illicitly. Book One: I remember that this book takes place in England, and I’m pretty sure it’s Regency era.  The heroine is 17 and is blond but an orphan (so sad).  She went to school with a bunch of other girls and made friends with another fellow orphan who’s a brunette.  Somehow, the blond heroine has a guardian (the hero, who’s also blond) and there are two meddling aunts who want the couple to get together.  But, alas, the hero is sort of engaged.  And there’s one scene in the novel where this cunty ex-mistress of the hero who comes onto the heroine.  There’s also a secondary romance with the brunette friend and the hero’s… read more »

Perfect for Banned Books Week: DHS Screens What you Read on US Flights

Thanks to Lucinda, we have a rather chilling look at airport security in the US: U.S. Airport Screeners Are Watching What You Read. Wonder what kind of profile markings you gain by toting a romance novel on board?

Bitchery Links

Bitchery reader Stephanie came out of lurkdom to send me a link to the man-tittiest fabric I have ever seen. Scroll down and pick your fave: Construction man-titty? Cowboy man-titty? Or Firefighter man-titty in beefcake-calendar pose? I have two things to say: one, what is the man-titty-less Pink Panther doing on this page? And two: never before in my life have I had this much of an urge to learn to quilt.

E. d’Trix sent me a link to a whole new LOL-subgenre: LOLBatman. I totally snorted soda up my nose at Batsecks.

Deenie by Judy Blume

Submitted by Smart Bitch Sarah

I read every Judy Blume book, including the ones where the lead characters had problems that made no sense to me (Then Again Maybe I Won’t for example) or where I had outgrown the (Superfudge). Deenie was one I reread frequently.

The reason the book is so often challenged is due to the scenes in which Deenie talks about massaging a “special spot,” and when her life gets stressful, she ends up rubbing that spot every night so she can get to sleep. Add to that a scene with a gym teacher giving very straight facts about periods, jilling off, and other touchy stuff and you have a book that gets a lot of knickers in a twist. And it’s a shame because the realism and thoughtfulness of Deenie is a potentially comforting read for many young women.

Deenie is not just about masturbation and menstruation, however, and sadly that’s lost in the protests. Deenie, whose mother wants to engineer a modeling career for her whether she likes it or not, is diagnosed with scoliosis and has to… read more »

Quid Pro Kick Ass!

Bronwyn Clarke was kind enough to mention us funky Bitches in an interview in The Australian. How COOL is that? I am literally hopping up and down in my bed. Ow.

So to further pimp Bronwyn since she pimped us down under (now that was a fun sentence to type), check it: Bronwyn’s survey for her PhD candidacy, for which she’s studying online communities related to the romance genre. Have at it!

What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras

Submitted by Darlene Marshall

  I bought this book from Planned Parenthood when my lads were small.  I still love it.  It speaks in plain language, uses a Q&A technique, and best of all from my POV, used schematic drawings of people to show what intercourse looked like. I liked that because I can remember feeling frustrated during sex-ed over the lack of real explanation—I knew the egg and the sperm got together, but I wasn’t sure how the man’s penis got inside the woman’s body.  Were they standing up?  Sitting on chairs?  Leaning against a wall?  Of course, now I know all of that’s possible (just read my books for details), but that’s the kind of, pardon the expression, hard-core information a pre-teen wants!  They also want to know if it’s normal to masturbate, to have wet dreams, to get erections at awkward times (like when you’re thinking about linoleum) and what the opposite sex looks like naked.

My sons are now 20 and 24, one’s gay, one’s straight, both are pretty normal members of society.  I would highly recommend this text for… read more »

Romance Writers, Parenting, Sex, and The Talk

Bitchery reader Peaches sent me the most thoughtful and thought-provoking question, which is both a rumination of the state of parenting and sexuality in our culture, and a request for YA books that deal with sexuality and sexual intercourse honestly and appropriately.

With all the hype about the new tv series adaptation of Gossip Girl, I decided to look it up and see what it was about.  Wikipedia assured me that it wasn’t really my kind of book, but it also lead me to this article.

The article is basically a mother feeling sorry for herself that her daughter is reading Gossip Girl, a series she disapproves of.  And while the mother is applaudably refusing to forbid the book, she basically goes on for a few paragraphs with “I’m trying to stop it, how do I stop this? My daughter reads other books besides trash, btw, but parents! What would you do?” and I couldn’t bring myself to feel the least bit bad for her.  The reason for this is of course that her daughter is 14, and its perfectly natural for a 14 year old girl to be interested in books with sex in them.

This got… read more »

Need some Motivation?

Behold: the prize for the best Banned Book Review for 2007: your choice of the children’s or adult’s Banned Book bracelet. You too can sport a miniature cover of To Kill a Mockingbird or Captain Underpants on your delicate wrist.

So far we have a very few entries (not including mine, which isn’t eligible) so if you’d like a shot, please send your review of one of the top 100 most challenged books from 1990-2000 to me .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) asap.

Alan Rickman reading Sonnet 130

Bitchery reader Eliza was kind enough to send me the .mp3 of Alan Rickman reading Sonnet 130. Try to breathe normally, ya’ll.

(And please, right click and save lest you hurt our server’s feelings. It’s listening to the .mp3 on repeat, too.)

Sonnet130.mp3

Psst: Erotica Writers, Take Note!

If the next RWA National Conference is in Seattle, I hope we can all get together and ride the SLUT.

Graceful curtsy to Debunot for the link.