Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Got Mac? Wanna make your own Audiobooks?

Today’s MacZot is lovely interesting if you’re into hearing your own books: Narrator reads text aloud, using multiple voices if you’d like. Once you’ve selected a portion of text you want to hear, you can identify which voice reads what, and then export the whole thing to iTunes. Make your own audio books? Listen to your work in progress as an editing technique? Ask the different voices to read vaguely obscene phrases so you can giggle like a 10-year-old boy? Whatever blows your skirt up. Very cool.

A Rough-Sketch Guide to Pittsburgh Eateries

Back when I was growing up in Pittsburgh, there were scads of lunch places but few places to dine out downtown, with the exception of the theatre area near Heinz Hall, and some places in the big hotels and up on Mount Washington. Now? There’s a ton of places. Holy crap. I need a few more days to just devote to restaurant crawling. So this is a rough sketch of a few places I know of, and that have been recommended. Also, check out the comments section of the original entry for raves about varying places in and around Pittsburgh. Most folks I know of are not renting cars (parking is hideously expensive) but if you do have a car or want to hop a bus, there are great places in Oakland, Squirrel Hill (where I grew up) and the South Side.

I hear via Colleen Gleason and others that the restaurant and bar are going to be open next week (I bloody well hope so) but in case not, let’s head out.

First, a basic map I built at Google that highlights some of the places Bitchery readers highlighted in their email to me. Note - Starbucks… read more »

Welcome to Bitches 2.0

We’re still working out the little things, but the big picture is in place. Didja miss us? We missed you.

GSvSTA: Ninjas, baby! YEAH!

Bitchery reader and aspiring writer Sarah (not me) writes in with a request:

I am an aspiring writer, and am working on some of my first manuscripts after years of anime fanfiction and original fantasy shorts. Most of my readers have been saying I should get published, even if I’ve never taken one creative writing course, and am finally breaking down to maybe give it a try. Most of what I write currently is almost kitchen-sink type stories, some action-adventure, some suspense, plenty of humor, deep philosophical discussions, and lots of sex and romance. Problem is, I’ve never picked up a full-blown romance before. I’ve been a fantasy/paranormal reader for the longest time, but after getting down right pissed after reading Sara Douglass assassinating her own female characters in the Troy Game series, I gave it reading mass-market fiction of all kind . . . except the last book of Harry Potter. I’ve been working on my own stuff ever since, and want to try to get something published. Only, I don’t know if my ideas would even stand a chance of being publish since the one I’m really rooting to research and start is completely off the wall… read more »

Happy National Library Week

Bitchery reader Kerry forwarded me a most excellent video celebrating National Library Week, and highlighting a most startling statistic about American spending habits.

May I say, if there was a vending machine in my world that had Kleypas novels in it? Like a Big Red Box for books? I’d be all over that. Screw the funyuns.

Bitches Working on the Weekend

Our site may be offline this weekend, most likely on Sunday, as we host a private wrestling match with a few of our favorite parts of the site, and see who wins. I’m backing the Jell-o wrestling team, but I think Candy may be backing the team that fights using a mixture of ghee and olive oil. Either way, if you stop by and we’re not here, fear not. We’ll be back.

The Duke of Shadows by Meredith Duran

Hello. I’m here to keep you on track.

Oh, shut up. I can ruminate on whatever the hell I want.

Yeah, but someday you’re going to hog all the bandwidth on the internet.

Coooool. *starts making plans*

Hey!

*sigh* FINE.

What would be the screenplay version of Sarah Reading The Duke of Shadows?

*peeking through fingers* “oh, shit oh shit, oh no….”

*tight sensation in chest at depictions of violence* “fucking hormones….”

*train stops, people get off* “SHIT. That’s my STOP. MOVE IT you door-blocking jackass.”

*peeking through fingers* “Oh, shit oh shit this is not good….”

*trying to stop self from turning pages too quickly* “Slow down, dumbass, the pages aren’t going anywhere.”

So you liked it?

Yup.

Best historical you’ve read this year?

Nope.

Bonus Friday Videos with Harlan Ellison and Laura Kinsale

Quick update for you:

Harlan Ellison ranted in fiery fashion with a full verbal body slam about payment for writers as part of the upcoming feature documentary on Harlan Ellison, “DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH.  Check it out: *note: CUSSING! And yelling! Be warned!*

And! Thanks to a savvy reader, I have a link to Chekov’s Mistress Laura Kinsale’s response to Ellison’s rant:

Personally, I will not write novels anymore if they have to be supported by advertising. It just breaks the bond between me and the reader. There is a bond, with a print book, with something that is bought and paid for. There’s more than exchange of filthy lucre. There’s an exchange of effort, even if it’s just the effort of lugging a book home from the library. Come to think of it, maybe this is why readers become so irrationally infuriated when a book doesn’t live up to their expectations. It’s an insult to more than their pocketbooks. It’s an insult to =them=, to their self-worth. I the author have asked for their time and their mind, and I failed them.

Conversely, if the reader takes what I wrote for free, they take… read more »

Friday Videos: Butter’s What What.

There are no words. Thanks to Shea.

What? No embedding? Damn. Watch it here. Thanks Esri Rose for the link.

D.E.A.R. - April 12 in Central Park

Whatcha doin’ tomorrow? It’s Drop Everything And Read day, and a few folks are rounding up a posse of people to head to Central Park in New York City to set aside at least 30 minutes to read. Sorry, drop everything and read. I am embarrassed to say I didn’t know this was a real program - I thought it was just part of the Ramona Quimby books, which I looooooved as a child.

Folks are going to be showing up at Central Park West between 86th and 90th street, from 8am to 6pm, and the goal is to get about 10-20,000 people to go outside and read.

Of course, there’s a 40% chance of thunderstorms on Saturday, but why let a little rain stop you? Rain is perfect weather for reading (of course, if you’re me, so is sunny, foggy, rainy, snowy, and any and all weather patterns). Bring a book and enjoy - and let me know if you see any famous New York residents out in the park reading.

Cover Story

Marianne Mancusi forwarded me news about romance novel covers making the news, thanks to her efforts:

I recently worked with Dorchester to do a story on how a romance novel cover is created, from concept to finished product. We followed CL Wilson’s next book through the process. The piece aired on our affiliates yesterday and now it’s up on our website.

Wanna see? Check it out. Am I the only one who is fascinated by the behind the scenes creative stuff?

HaBO: Two for One

Reader Tibbles writes:

I’m looking for two books given to me several years ago in a box of books from a friend’s older lady neighbor.  When my hubby and I moved a bunch of my books ended up wet and molded and got thrown out while I wasn’t around to write down fav titles.

The book starts in England with the female being in business or something (Historical).  She ends up sleeping with the hero because he catches her at something she isn’t supposed to do.  She ends up sick wherever he took her and he and she have sex before he realizes its not just an excuse.  They go their separate ways and then end up meeting up at a party some time later.  Their one day of “pleasure” has resulted in pregnancy.  He forces a marriage and they move to America.  Someone comes back and attempts to blackmail her.  At first I had thought it was the Flame and the Flower (Woodiwiss) but when I bought that book, it turned out not to be.  Help!

The second book starts in somewhere like Maryland during the revolutionary war.  The h lead female is nicknamed Cottontop because of her hair. … read more »

Bookstore Battles: Where Do You Shop?

In light of Amazon’s decision regarding Print-on-Demand services that are not their own, and the mutterings of “anti-trust” and grumblings of “lawsuit” following that decision, an article in the Washington Post last weekend caught many a Bitchery reader’s eye. Thanks to Jill and Mary for giving me the heads up about this story: who battles whom in the bookstore wars?

Used to be that independents battled the Big Book stores. Now, the Big Books are in danger, as well as the independents, as shoppers start taking a look for books at Target, Costco, and other very inexpensive vendors.

Costco, Target, Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club aren’t just moving in for the kill with big discounts on the latest Stephen King or John Grisham page-turners. They are also engaging the culturally connected, targeting readers who delight in cocktail or book-club conversation about the latest titles. About 34 percent of book buyers made purchases at such locations last year, according to the Simmons National Consumer Survey.

Classic Clinch Clench

This may sound odd, but…I was looking for new fodder for cover snark, and after looking for several minutes at appalling computer-generated images, I found myself longing for simpler days—days when a woman didn’t have hair, she had tresses, and they flowed, oh how they flowed. Days when a man proclaimed his masculinity by daring to tuck his unbuttoned shirt into his belt. Days when a woman knew her place: kneeling at a man’s feet, gazing up in supplication, the froth of her skirts throwing themselves with gentle futility against his rock-hard thews.

Only one thing could assuage my hunger.

Clinch covers. Up on the chopping block this week: Avon Romance.

That’s right, kittens. Grab your panniers and set your hairspray to “Stun.”

Librarians and Fug: A match made in awesome.

Thanks to Beth for the link: a librarian gives the righteous fug treatment to READ posters featuring shoddily dressed celebs holding books in their hands and vacant expressions on their faces.

Word. I hope she keeps it up.