Smart Podcast, Trashy Books Podcast

264. Portable Self Care and Evil Space Squirrels: An Interview with Elyse

Elyse’s mom underwent mega-major surgery for the second time in two years, and Elyse faced down the second surgery with a portable bag of self-care and attention. We talk about what she packed to bring with her to the waiting room and to her mom’s post-operative recovery, with a side trip to call blocking apps, video games, and evil squirrels. Then we return to methods of coping, tools for self care, mindful attention to one’s anxiety, and, of course, how romances help with soothing ourselves. We talk a lot about the upcoming Mary Balogh novel, and the dosages of plot that work best for us.

Alternate title for this episode: Boiled Hearts and the Iron Goddess of Mercy

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Oh, here we go: knitting patterns, tea, yarn, bags, and apps!

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Transcript

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This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.

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Each and every new podcast receives a transcript, which are thoughtfully handcrafted by Garlic Knitter each week – thank you, Garlic Knitter!

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  1. CK says:

    Elyse, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m not anyone’s caretaker right now but I often wonder how to handle it when I will have to be. When people share their experiences it takes the edge away from the what if? What if? I’m really glad to hear your mom is doing so well and I hope you are taking care of yourself too! Thank you ladies for the episode; this podcast is kind of the cherry on top for Fridays.

  2. Hazel says:

    This sounds good. I look forward to the transcript!

  3. Lateefah says:

    Elyse! I have the same heart shaped heater thing from true romance. I think I’ve used it once and it just sits in a drawer. Will definitely travel with it now, what a good idea! Also f you for that project bag I just spent a ton of money on that site.

  4. Stefanie Magura says:

    @SBSarah:

    Is the app called Should I answer or not? It’s available on IOS. This from an avowed IOS user.

  5. SB Sarah says:

    @Stefanie:

    Alas, that’s an app from a different programmer, so it’s not the same as the one I use. But if you try it and like it, please let me know!

  6. Mags says:

    I just started using the AT&T/iOS only app (sorry) AT&T Call Protect, which uses crowd sourcing to tell you if a call is Spam with a threat level meter and I was able to import my blacklist and my contacts. So far so good. It’s blocking the 1-000-000-0000 number calls, which is awesome!!

  7. JayneH says:

    My tolerance for creepy is super low, that’s why I had to get Winter People out of my house. I hope Elyse liked it!
    I asked on IG who wanted it, two friends did, so I sent it to one and bought it for the other person.

  8. SB Sarah says:

    @Jayne: I am entirely with you. I can’t either!

  9. garlicknitter says:

    Like Elyse, I am not a natural caretaker, but when my mom was living with and caring for her parents their last few years, I went up a couple of times and stayed with them while she took vacations. The first time I took the complete Anne of Green Gables series with me to help get me in the caretaking mood. Anne took pride in helping others and keeping a tidy house (among other things). Reading about her helped me pretend I felt the same way. The next time I took some of Little Women and some other similar works (I can’t remember what anymore). It worked for me.

  10. Robin says:

    This is so coincidental, but I just retuned (within the last hour) from a neurosurgeon appointment for my husband because he was just confirmed as having scoliosis (and a twist) last month. His PCP mentioned rods and my anxiety ambushed me. At this point, nothing is for sure but Elyse has my complete sympathy. I can’t imagine going thru this twice. I’m glad she’s doing well.

  11. Elyse says:

    @Robin Best wishes for you and your husband!

  12. Kareni says:

    Thanks for yet another enjoyable post.

  13. Kate says:

    Such a great episode. Elyse, best wishes to you and your mom.

    My mother, who lives across the country from me, ended up in the ICU earlier this year and I wish I’d had a comfort “bug-out bag” prepared. She’s fine now–it was severe dehydration brought on by a virus, and not the stage four lung cancer I had just naturally assumed when I got the call from my stepdad.

    It was impossible for me to read in the hospital room–my mom insisted on having CNN on 24/7, which just stressed out my brother and me even more (Sean Spicer’s face is NOT soothing!). I played a LOT of Frozen Freefall and Onirim on my phone. Knitting would have been fantastic, if I’d only thought to bring some.

    Rich playing Galactic Civ is hilarious. In dealing with my own generalized anxiety at the moment, I’ve gone back to playing the online game Wizard101, which is a fantasy-themed multiplayer online role playing game aimed at ages 10+ (full disclosure: I was involved in the game’s launch in 2008 but haven’t been affiliated with the publisher since early 2009). I had stopped playing back in 2012 but got an urge to log back in and it has been so calming to run around in this little cartoon world tending my gardens, learning to fish and checking out the new areas that came out after I quit.

    And thank you, Sarah for the Should I Answer rec. I’ve been getting a ton of junk calls all of the sudden, so this is great timing. And angry octopus!

  14. Hazel says:

    Thanks for the transcript and kudos to Elyse. That was a really healthy approach to a very difficult situation. I have plenty of experience as a care giver, but as is often the case, I came to the concept of self-care rather late. I love the idea of a self-care bag, and I imagine you’d vary its contents depending on the peculiar demands of the challenging situation. I wonder if I could construct a virtual one to carry around with me and access at need.

    Hope your mother continues to recover well, Elyse.

  15. greennily says:

    Tons of good luck and best wishes to Elyse and her mom and thanks so much for the tea links! Loved your discussion about Mary Balogh! And the rest of the episode as well, actually 😀

  16. Crystal F. says:

    Best wishes to Elyse’s mom and everyone’s loved ones who need it.

    I needed this podcast. I was kind of hit from both sides this week. I have a birthmother who may have Degenerative disc disease, (this on top of her having Graves’ Disease), and the pain is steadily getting worse.

    This past Thursday my mother that I live with doubled over in severe pain had to be taken to the E.R. where they found a rather LARGE kidney stone. And she’s the type that will never tell you she’s in pain, and will just quietly sit there and live with it. (And THAT was hours after a light bulb just up and exploded just a few inches from my head with glass flying in every direction. I probably missed a trip to the hospital myself.) So my nerves are a little shot these last few days.

    I should make a comfort bag of my own. Maybe two. I’ve just been watching YouTube, and looking at art supplies and pictures that I want to sketch once life calms down.

    (Thank you for explaining how to pronounce ‘Balogh’!)

  17. LF says:

    That sucks. I hope your mom gets well soon…

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