Smart Podcast, Trashy Books Podcast

257. Bitches Assemble: Our Favorite Recommendations and the Expectations of Tentacles

Sarah, Elyse, Carrie, and RedHeadedGirl gather to talk about successful recommendations we’ve made to new and curious readers interested in trying romance. From curating a broad selection of books as an introduction to specifically pimping books we know have a multi-level appeal, we talk about our favorite recommendations, books that seem to entice many different readers, and which books we love just for sheer crazy sauce. We also discuss how many readers are introduced to romance by a person who gives them a brown paper bag full of books. “Bag full of books” is among our favorite word combinations.

And because we’re, well, us, we talk about weird sex scenes we’ve read, wonderful and funny sex scenes we’ve loved, managing chronic pain and reading BDSM stories, and interesting female inventors in history. Plus, we discuss at length (heh) the expectations of tentacles, and what new books we’re going to end up recommending frequently.

Note: Elyse is a little fuzzy, and I think she might have been in a wind machine.

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Here are the books we discuss in this podcast:

We also mentioned:

The RWA Signing! July 29, 2017, from 3:00 – 5:00pm! 

Hundreds of romance authors in one place, and all proceeds of book sales go to literacy organizations. Some of your favorite authors are likely to be there, like Alyssa Cole, Tessa Dare, Courtney Milan, Julie James, Cecilia Tan, Beverly Jenkins, and Jill Shalvis. And, for the first time, I’ll be signing, too – yay!

The signing is at the Walt Disney World Dolphin Resort in Pacific Hall. Saturday, July 29th from 3-5pm. And if you come and find me (I’m in the Ws near the cashiers) and mention the podcast, I have a special sticker for you – if you’d like one.  Get all the details at:  https://www.rwa.org/literacy.

And here’s Orville, Executive Sound Engineer, helping me with recording this episode:

Orville, my very large orange tabby, sprawled out across my desk with my computer, keyboard, and soundbox and mic on the desk around him. he's very very large

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This Episode's Music

Our music is provided each week by Sassy Outwater, whom you can find on Twitter @SassyOutwater.

This is from Caravan Palace, and the track is called “Queens.”

You can find their two album set with Caravan Palace and Panic on Amazon and iTunes. And you can learn more about Caravan Palace on Facebook, and on their website.


Podcast Sponsor

Too Scot to Handle

This episode is brought to you by Too Scot to Handle by Grace Burrowes. This New York Times bestselling series with its “heartfelt emotions, humor and realistic, honest characters [is] a fan favorite,” raves RT Book Reviews.

In this second book of the Windham Brides series, Burrowes delights Regency romance readers once again with an irresistible rough-around-the-edges Scot who takes on saving an orphanage to win over the fiery, intelligent woman who captures his heart.

As a captain in the army, Colin MacHugh led men, fixed what was broken, and fought hard. Now that he’s a titled gentleman, he’s still fighting-this time to keep his bachelorhood safe from all the marriage-minded debutantes. Then he meets the intriguing Miss Anwen Windham, whose demure nature masks a bonfire waiting to roar to life. When she asks for his help to raise money for the local orphanage, he’s happy to oblige.

Anwen is amazed at how quickly Lord Colin takes in hand a pack of rambunctious orphan boys. Amazed at how he actually listens to her ideas. Amazed at the thrill she gets from the rumble of his Scottish burr and the heat of his touch. But not everyone enjoys the success of an upstart. And Colin has enemies who will stop at nothing to ruin him and anybody he holds dear.

As Tessa Dare puts it, “Grace Burrowes is a romance treasure.” Don’t miss Too Scot to Handle, on sale wherever books are sold this Tuesday, July 25th.

Transcript

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This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.

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  1. LF says:

    Fruit Salad

  2. Ren Benton says:

    My expectations of tentacles have been shaped by way too much exposure to hentai (“THAT’S NOT HOW THE FEMALE BODY WORKS. WHY ARE DUDES”). Awaiting the transcript so I can get some context…

  3. Jen says:

    The tentacle reference has me curious – like Ren, I await the transcript to learn more (and can I say, thank you for providing the transcripts since I can’t hear?) I’m a biologist, so my first thought is always going to be cephalopds. However, I’m also an avid follower of Humon’s “Scandinavia and the World”, and her “Love and Tentacles” comics spring to mind as well: http://scandia.store/product/the-love-and-tentacles-book

  4. Jazzlet says:

    Awwwww Orville! Does he let you tickle that gorgeous tummy?

  5. Ren Benton says:

    As it turns out, the tentacles were pretty much what I expected. 😀

    The only thing I really remember about those Anne Rice Beauty books was the vaginal penetration with the jeweled hilt of a dagger. I was probably 13 and had just run through Lestat and grabbed everything with “Anne Rice” on the cover and it was very much “WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST READ.” I mean, I’d been reading romance since my age was in the single digits because that’s what was in the house, so I thought I was pretty worldly, but that day I realized I didn’t know shit.

    Oh god, now I’m getting flashbacks to something about butter (don’t put butter in your vagina) and a cat (cats can’t consent, so keep them away from your vagina, as well).

    I don’t read much erotica, but it seems like it shouldn’t make you want to board up your hooha to avoid having random objects crammed in it.

  6. momoreads says:

    Loved today’s pod. When the Bitches assemble we always get such a free-wheeling discussion. The vagina fruit had me laughing on my dogwalk at 6am. I kept waiting for someone to mention Susan Johnson I can remember at least two books that have plums inserted into the vagina. Can’t quite recall the titles but they were both historicals in the Bertrice Smalls style with lots of kidnappings, harems, and aprodisiacs.

  7. Yota says:

    Ice only listened to the first 10 minutes so far, but omg yessss the bag of books in the closet of the pizza joint I worked at was how I was introduced to romance. Especially Nora Roberts.

    I actually can’t read her anymore, I keep seeing the Nora formula and I get bored.

  8. SQ says:

    Oh I love Victoria Dahl’s contemporaries! Her books are always fun and sexy reads.

  9. Julia says:

    I love the Original Sinners series, but I want to have a deep conversation about how morally stressed I felt about some of the relationships in the book!

  10. Crystal F. says:

    There’s also the lemon in Elizabeth Hoyt’s ‘To Beguile a Beast’. The hero tries it as a contraceptive(?) on the heroine, and then uses the lemon juice to turn her on. But all I could imagine was a possible ‘puckering’ of the skin going on down there for her.

  11. Jazzlet says:

    Crystal F.

    Lemon?!? I’m clenching at the thought, Ren’s boarding up is clearly needed.

  12. Half a small lemon is known as a historical contraception method- it’s essentially an attempt at a diaphragm. You could also try a sponge soaked with vinegar or lemon juice.

    What? I know things.

  13. Ren Benton says:

    @Redheadedgirl: Don’t forget crocodile dung.

    I wonder if some of these methods were contraception via scaring away men. “In the name of Anubis, with what have you dammed your fertile delta now? I will not be paddling my boat up that fetid stream tonight!”

  14. Nancy C says:

    So, I still needed to find something to fill the Ripped Bodice bingo square for non-mammal shifter, and I found myself reading that damn cuttlefish-shifter thing.
    Damn you, Carrie. I can’t unread it! Good thing it was only 12 pages long. I don’t even want to know what kind of drugs it would take to come up with that idea.
    But I’ve checked that box, and never have to go there again.

  15. Crystal F. says:

    @Jazzlet Yeah, I went back and re-read the scene and he does ‘work it in’ like a diaphragm as Redheadedgirl mentions. I’m like dude, stop, there’s better ways to make lemonade.

    I lent it to a friend who doesn’t normally read romance, but she does enjoy erotica and we write erotic fan fiction/science fiction together. She felt the same way, loved the book, but that made her cringe. Then again, with some of the ideas *we’ve* come up with…

  16. Maureen says:

    “And she was like, yes, those are the most beautiful words in the English language.” Ahh, truer words were never spoken!

    I’m trying to figure out how I got started in romance, I was a voracious reader as a kid-I think my gateway author was Jean Plaidy/Victoria Holt. My first real romance novel was Kathleen Woodiwiss-Shanna-which I read my junior year in high school. By the time it got me to me, it was well worn and dog eared-that was 1977 I think. I was deeply in love with my first boyfriend, and I was blown away by the sex scenes!

    I was lucky enough, that boyfriend’s mom was a huge romance reader-one wall of her basement was filled with Harlequin romances. I would come visit, and go home with a huge brown bag (how much do I love you guys talked about brown bags and their inventor!) full of books. It was like paradise! Not only did I have my very hot first boyfriend, but his mom was a huge reader?? Who wanted to share her books with me? I look back and I couldn’t have ordered a more perfect first love!

    Elyse, can’t believe I never read Hellion, I feel like I’ve read most of Small’s books. I can just picture you though, in the back seat of the family car, with your mind getting blown by one of her novels. My freshman roommate and I came back as soon as the dorms opened, after Christmas-with the express purpose of just reading romance novels. We bought a bunch, traded them back and forth-and I remember that feeling when we would finally venture out of the room, like “do they know what we are reading?”. I think we were much more naive about sex back then, but also more free-that was before anyone had heard about AIDS.

    Sorry for the long post, this was a great podcast!

  17. Hanaper says:

    Bought and read A Queen from the North on the strength of this podcast.

    It was clearly gripping enough that I finished it within 24 hours, but also flawed… and not just because it needed another proof-reading.

    If you do a review, please let me know so I can join the discussion. I’d be particularly curious about any review that compared A Queen from the North with Lilah Pace’s His Royal Secret. 🙂

  18. Melanie says:

    Is it sad that I have already listened to this episode twice? SO much fun. So many recommendations. And the slightly amusing realisation that I definitely owned Decadent but I’m sure I never read it after being a bit meh about the first in the series ‘Wicked Ties.’ I probably gave it away at some point. Now I kind of regret that but I wont be buying it twice! XD

    Thanks for another lol podcast. Seems appropriate that to my ear Elyse sounded a bit like she was in an aquarium. Given all the tentacle talk…perhaps she was?! ;D

  19. Janice says:

    I have received and given many a bag full of books. Sadly, we don’t have many brown paper bags in circulation these days where I live and still the books pile up!

    Thanks for the many recommendations and joyful discussion (except for the grapes and apple slices, ew!). Just grabbed A Queen From the North because I’m a sucker for AU romances!

  20. NastyBritish&Short says:

    Just heard this today, and the tentacle discussion made me think of the famous Hokusai erotic print, “Diving Girl with Octopus” — which was made 200 years ago.

    Check it out at: http://www.akantiek.nl/hokusai%20p1290.htm

  21. devra says:

    i don’t remember if it was carrie or amanda but could someone give more context on recs they make for dude friends into genre fiction willing to try a romance?

  22. SusanE says:

    Devra, podcast #256 has some recommendations for Sarah’s husband in the comments. Is that what you were looking for?

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