Happy Monday! Get ready for some Cover Snark!
Sarah: Her head and arms are wrong. How many individual photos made that woman?
Her head is too high above her neck and shoulder. Her neck is really, really long.
Her arms don’t match.
Her dress either is becoming or still IS the drapery.
I can’t look away. Make it stop.
Amanda: We should have a contest to figure it out. Like a “guess how many jelly beans are in this jar,” but more like “guess how many different women make up the heroine’s body.”
Elyse: The hero is holding out his hand like “WTF is this shit?”
True story, I don’t remember ordering this book but it showed up on my Kindle.
Sarah: I spent at least 2 minutes trying to figure out if that was a boulder, a really bad ponytail, or a tumor.
Amanda: Why not all three, Sarah? DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF.
Elyse: WHEN MULLETS ATTACK
Sarah: True. I mean, what a terrific superpower. Boulder disguised as a mullet/ponytail? Grows larger for throwing purposes when you need it? Handy dandy. Wait. I bet that’s what it’s called. Handy Boulder Dandy!
Amanda: If you can dream it, romance covers can do it!
Sarah: I wonder if my imagination is missing paranormal romance and I should read more of it.
CarrieS: I wasn’t aware that Chieftains of Old did so much waxing. Or crunches.
Elyse: …where is her pelvis? She’s missing a third of her body!
Amanda: I’m not entirely sure there’s a face beneath that hat. Because that woman looks horrified.
Sarah: WHAT IS HAPPENING. Did she spontaneously give birth to a picnic basket and is trying to hide it?
Sarah: I assume there’s hairspray in that treasure.
Redheadedgirl: And eyeliner.
And chest wax.
Amanda: That is one finely groomed man, like Dave Navarro level of grooming.
Sarah: Think he’d share the links to the scarf-tying videos he’s favorited?
Elyse: He turned to piracy after his career as a street magician failed.
Sarah: I bet his name is Henri, and it’s pronounced, “Ennui.”
Is it my imagination or is the lady(ladies?) in the red drapery pregnant?
The “Undeniable Rogue” cover looks like someone broke the Kate Middleton waxwork from Madame Tussauds, put it together wrong and then chucked a red curtain over it to disguise the damage. Also how is that bodice staying up? It’s about three sizes too big for her boobs and now I have wasted ten minutes puzzling over this and feel ashamed.
Maybe the Chieftan’s Curse is to perpetually have his castle flattened by runaway giant boulders. That’s why he looks so fed up…’oh, there goes another one…’
As well as being oddly well groomed, that last guys expression gives me the impression that the L in a box is actually hovering next to him and he’s trying really hard not to stare.
All I see when I look at ‘Within a Captain’s Treasure’ is a very young Roger Taylor from Queen, but with a beard (from the early years – the Bohemian Rhapsody or Someone to Love era.)
The Physical Therapist in me is very concerned about the tension that the Chieftain is carrying in his trapezius muscles. Maybe that is his curse – unrelenting headaches due to muscle imbalance.
I stopped with just a sliver of the upper edge of Her Bucking Bronc’s cover at the bottom of my screen because I wanted to guess how someone decided a creepy smiley face balloon fit into a cover-worthy scenario.
Lo and behold, that wasn’t even the problem.
Is the woman on the Bucking Bronc title levitating?
@ Heather T – Looks like they are sitting on a mounting block, used to get on horses when the legs (or pelvis!) are too short or the rider wants to save the horse’s back. You wouldn’t catch me sitting on a mounting block in a white lacy skirt because of the stuff that ends up on the bottom of boots around horses, just sayin’.
I’m not sure I want to know what that cowboy is up to with his right hand and does he even have a right elbow?
“Birth to picnic basket”…thank you.
“If you can dream it, romance covers can do it!”
Dying.
wow, the Captain looks like Tim Minchin after deep conditioner.
@ Andrea2
OMG YES! I kept looking at him and just KNOWING that I knew him from somewhere.
I actually woke up humming Somebody to Love this morning. Weird.
@ marjorie ingall
I have to disagree. But I will say that Tim Minchin looks like Damian Lewis if Damian Lewis ever lost his mind.
And I would totally watch that show.
About the cover of Undeniable Rogue, I think the woman’s body is a mannequin with a human face painted in place.
Her Bucking Bronc cover has to be one of the very strangest I’ve ever seen. Did the artist even look at it? Did anyone in the publisher’s office look at it? Most importantly, did the author have no control over it? Because it looks to me as if she is floating in space, naked from the waist down and he is ready to finger her. I really can’t tell if she is pleased about that or not. Not to mentuion, surely at the angle his head is tilted, wouldn’t his hat fall off?
I cannot stop giggling over the pirate cover. Thank you. Well worth the price of admission.
I love Lisa Olech’s books-just saying 🙂
Sorry but I can’t look at the C in Curse without seeing a doodled willy.
“I bet his name is Henri, and it’s pronounced, “Ennui.””
LMAO
Lady in red looks like young Karen Allen.
Because I was scrolling on my phone, I saw the top of the Caprains Treasure, all flying hair and bored eyes and thought “ooh, fiesty heroine” saw the cut and thought “fiesty duelling heroine” scrolled some more and “fiesty stubbled heroine – oh”
Captain’s Treasure dude reminds me of Rufus Sewell–in the face, at least.
Within a captain’s treasure is legit MTV-era wind machine hair. He is also looking with suspicious disdain at something just outside the picture, like he can see something alarming…perhaps that woman pooping a picnic basket from the other book?
I keep looking at the torso of the man in the first one and thinking it looks like exposed entails. Oops! #toomanymedicaldramas
Can’t. Stop. Laughing!!
Thank you for these! My whole office is HOWLING with laughter. I work in a non-public branch of a public library and we’ve seen all kinds of things, but these are a superb combo of cover and snark!
That last picture is Dave Navarro, member of band Jane’s addiction and Carmen Electra’s ex-husband!
How long did it take me to realize that his name was in the actual blog text? Oh man, one of those days!
That Bucking Bronc seems to be bucking with both hands. Since when did Cowboys wear pressed polyester dress pants?
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