Every now and again, a book ticks a reader off to such an extent that only one response is satisfying: emailing me about it with rage-filled, growling detail. And so, we have Book Rants. This Rant is from L, who found herself reading a book that gave her much ranty rage.
Long-time reader here, first-time e-mailer. I just didn’t have a sympathetic audience available (family visit with three brothers and a dad), and I can’t seem to interest the unsympathetic one I’ve got in the topic. So I apologize if this is kind of long, but I had to get it off my chest!
Picture this: L. sits in an airplane, squished between Guy 1 and Guy 2, with no hope of even a fraction of an armrest and doing her best to avoid physical contact with the … largish … Guy 1.
L. is reading a book, with all indications of enjoyment, to avoid Guy 2’s conversational gambits. Then… L. slowly stiffens, goes bright red, starts muttering under her breath, and puffs up to the extent that in her imagination, both Guy 1 and Guy 2 are forcibly evicted from their respective armrest. L. stops herself from throwing the book across the plane, albeit with difficulty, because L. has no desire to be set upon by air marshals who would undoubtedly see her reaction to so negligible a thing as the content of a romance novel as clear evidence of imminent danger.
More importantly, L. has no money to pay for the damages when the book inevitably hits the emergency exit button, the oxygen masks deploy, and the plane has to land in the middle of the Atlantic. You get the picture.
Here’s the scenario. I’m not going to say up front what book it was, because it’s actually a pretty good book, and the objectionable parts are sufficiently archetypal to be rant-worthy as a representative case:
Our Hero, the big-city detective with a tortured past (how surprising) is hired as police chief of a small town in the middle of nowhere. By small, I mean seven families.
Apparently, they’re big families.
He decides to check out the town the evening before he’s expected, goes to the single bar in town, pretends he’s just passing through, and flirts with the waitress. Hero is so irresistibly handsome, he persuades waitress to dance – who, consequently not being able to resist him, starts making out with him. He announces magnanimously that he’s ok with just kissing and talking, no pressure.
She – and you may have guessed by now, she’s the Heroine – is a single mother, widow, diner owner, responsible citizen and, of course, unaware of her own gorgeousness. And she doesn’t usually do that kind of thing. But since he’s so irresistible, she decides, since he’s just passing through, to let loose for the evening. The following dialogue ensues:
“You’re just passing through, right?” she whispered in his ear.
Should he tell her? The responsible part of him said yes, but then she might stop kissing him.
[Hero] murmured, “Something like that.” Then he dove back in.
Ok, fine, she’s a big girl, and you can’t expect honesty from a bar-room make-out. Been there, done that.
The next day, he’s introduced to the town – pretty much all of whom fit into the church for the town meeting – as the new chief of police, hired as a surprise by the shady mayor. At this point, Heroine’s best friend loudly tells her aunt that Heroine made out with that guy last night. Note to Heroine: get new friend. Heroine is understandably embarrassed, but shit happens.
Now comes the fun part: Chief Hero then decides he wants more Heroine, and initiates “preliminary investigations” to find out all he can about her.
Yup, those are his words.
Once those are concluded, he goes to Heroine’s diner – where, unsurprisingly, she’s not happy.
What does Hero do? Should he apologize for misleading her?
He tells her, “Well… I didn’t live here then.” Smirk. Hell, we can’t have His Heroicness be a doormat, now can we? So what does he do next?
Knowing that Heroine and her mom kinda need the income, he pressures her into renting him a trailer in HER BACK YARD. At this point,
He could almost feel the waves of annoyance pouring off her. It made him want to poke at her all the more. He was an irritating bastard sometimes.
Charming.
He then proceeds to chat up her 6-year-old son, charm her friends, and flirt with her grandma. For some odd reason, she’s still not won over. In fact, she tells him straight out:
“I’m not going out with you. There’s a reason I don’t date.”
“Never?”
“Never. I’m busy. I’ve got too many responsibilities and not enough time for the life I have. I may like the way you look, Chief [Hero]—”
“You like my boots, too. Don’t lie.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t date.”
Chief Hero now displays that most heroic of manly virtues: persistence. He informs her that he’s going to come into her diner every day until she agrees to go out with him.
Meanwhile, after 5 minutes of talking to her kids, he tells her “You’re a good mom.” So glad to have you around for that verdict, Chief Hero, because I’m sure she’s just pining for your approval of her parenting!
Let’s sum this up from the heroine’s perspective: There’s this guy, of whom I know only that the first time we met, he lied to me so he would get some. I’ve told him I’m not interested. He’s making up to my kids and judging my family, he’s cornered me into living in my back yard, and he’s threatened to keep at me at my place of work until I go out with him.
Goodness, I think I have a stalker, I should call the police.
Oh, wait, he is the effing police!!! Never mind, I guess that’s romantic, then.
And his reaction to her fury?
There were those gritted teeth again. What do you know? She was cute when she was pissed off, too. Fantastic.
At this point, the book nearly flew through the plane.
Being stuck on a trans-Atlantic flight, though, I kept reading.
Except for the beginning, I actually ended up liking the book quite a bit: Heroine isn’t TSTL and (usually) able to get herself out of trouble, Hero doesn’t (much) use his tortured past as an excuse to be a jerk, and the plot was both internally consistent and exciting. But that made the unfortunate beginning all the more infuriating. We all know not to take the obvious bodice-ripper too seriously. ‘Old-Skool Romance’ is fantastic in context.
But in an ostensibly enlightened modern context, we’re apparently still supposed to think this behavior is not only acceptable, but romantic?! I suppose if I knew ahead of time that the creep who won’t take no for an answer is actually destined to be my soul mate, I might be more forgiving.
Or maybe I could just be credited with enough agency to say yes if and when I want to, and we’d avoid the whole problem.
But, and here’s the point of no return for me, can we PLEASE get rid of the “She’s so cute when she’s angry” trope? I swear, when I read that line, I must have been so f***ing cute I’m surprised Guys 1 and 2 didn’t follow me home to live in MY back yard.
I loathe “You’re cute when you’re angry”. It implies that when a woman gets angry, the issue isn’t important. Probably some little thing like her not being able to open a pickle jar by herself.
What’s important is her beauty, which must only increase under stressful situations. It’s like “She slumped down, clearly exhausted, her hair tangled and her makeup smeared. She had never looked more gorgeous.” Right.
Someone I know told me her ex-boyfriend used the “cute when you’re angry” line with her, and it made her *more* angry. “I don’t need cliched compliments now,” she said. “I need you to listen to what I’m saying, and understand why I’m angry.”
Of course, with some men that’s too much to ask for. That’s why he’s an ex.
Considering the fact that it is not unusual for police officers’ wives to be victims of domestic violence, it sounds like this novel was in poor taste.
Let’s sum this up from the heroine’s perspective: There’s this guy, of whom I know only that the first time we met, he lied to me so he would get some. I’ve told him I’m not interested. He’s making up to my kids and judging my family, he’s cornered me into living in my back yard, and he’s threatened to keep at me at my place of work until I go out with him.
Goodness, I think I have a stalker, I should call the police.
Oh, wait, he is the effing police!!! Never mind, I guess that’s romantic, then.
Whyyyy??!! Not romantic, no!
I usually adore Nora Roberts but ‘The Witness’ infuriated me for many of these reasons (another small town police chief.)
This is why I don’t buy Kristen Ashley anymore. I read this theme over and over in her books, often with the male just looking at the heroine and saying, “Babe.” Like, your anger doesn’t even warrant a whole sentence, it’s so meaningless. Nope. Not funding this crap with MY money.
My NaNo book contains a character with that attitude. He’s character I need to kill off to get the plot going, not the romantic lead.
Note to self, have him tell woman setting him up that she’s cute when she’s angry.
This kind of belittling reminds me of the thing where the hero is hanging out with his friends and one of them isn’t being upfront and someone else calls him a p@$$y. Way to reduce women’s genitalia to something cowardly. This is why I stopped reading one author, after her third book where this happened. (Hope this comment made sense – i’m really jetlagged but wanted to sympathIze.)
I understand the modern context for P@SSy is somewhat different, but it’s actually short for “pusillanimous”, meaning weak or cowardly.
What book was this? I will file it under STA.
This was a thoughtful and entertaining piece. Sorry you were stuck with a bad book on an airplane ride (one of the reasons I love my ereader with 200+ books on it), but thanks for sharing.
A lot of popular romance tropes and plots tend to fall apart for reasons like this under scrutiny. The way I think about them is to apply how I would look at it if it were happening to my best friend, my little sister, etc. “My little sister came to me and told me the guy she hooked up with last night turned out to be the new chief of police and won’t leave her alone. He keeps coming by where she works at all hours, contacting her family, and ignoring her when she says she isn’t interested.” If it doesn’t sound romantic stated plainly (free of fluff) and happening to someone you care about, that’s probably cause for concern.
I would actually like to see a hero realize the error of his ways through a similar scenario. Say he finds out another guy (landlord? doctor? boss?) is hitting aggressively on his mom/sister/best friend/whatever. This new guy is pushy, condescending, smug, in a position of power over the woman, and won’t take no for an answer. This upsets the hero a lot, because obviously this other guy is exhibiting all sorts of troubling predatory behaviour, and then it hits him. Maybe he witnesses an interaction between this woman in his life and the unwanted dude, and he realizes, holy crap, he’s said almost those exact same things to the heroine. He thinks back on their interactions, and realizes how she must have felt, and how that’s not any different than how his sister/mother/whoever feels right now, and he can’t rationalize it just because it’s happening to someone else. He’s horrified, embarrassed, and ashamed, and this new perspective on himself and his actions leads him to apologize and become a better person, someone who approaches her like an equal and respects her decisions. I dunno. I’d read it.
Maybe we can replace “she’s so cute when she’s angry” to “she’s so cute when she’s heavily armed.” It might make for more interesting exchanges and fewer living jackass heroes: “Oh, when she’s holding that hatchet she’s so adorabURRRK!”
I’m also surprised L didn’t supply the title and author of this book. There are plenty of DNF reviews that have that info, and probably some readers who enjoy the “so bad it’s good” books.
I HATE HATE HATE “you’re so cute when you’re angry.” I have a friend who used to do that, thinking he was being flirtatious because for some reason guys are taught that this is charming. I finally rounded on him and let him know that when he did that he was diminishing my feelings and (by extension, ME) and it wasn’t charming or funny. To his credit, my friend was appalled, abashed and deeply apologetic and he never did it again.
So why do romance writers, many of whom are women, include this annoying and offensive trope? WHY?
This was fun to read. Probably more than the book. I will admit that I fall for the so angry she’s cute in Judith McNaugh and Julie Garwood books. But what I can’t believe is that a woman never cries. Because when I get angry, I cry. Angry cry. I’d love to see that in a book where a woman is so exhausted, so angry, she just cries and loses it because that shit makes men lose it. Then he can change and feel bad. Because that’s how it works in my house with four males. I get mad, I cry, they look shocked, they hunker away and come back later with chocolate and a clean kitchen. Sexist, yes, but I can’t seem to help the tears when I’ve had it. The tears make me even madder!
I admit, I liked the “she’s cute when she’s angry” trope up until I was fifteen. Ok, if I’m being honest, maybe until age 18. Now I can’t stand it.
I think what used to appeal to me was the idea that the heroine’s anger doesn’t scare the man off. It doesn’t shake him, make him less interested. For someone who feels like they have to hold in their anger a lot or risk damaging relationships (i.e., teenagers hanging out with other teenagers) that can be a comforting idea. Especially since women in western pop culture get SO MANY MESSAGES about how their anger is an over reaction, it’s their job to take care of the relationship, saying what you actually think will make you unlikeable, etc. However, it’s a trope that falls apart pretty darn fast once you’re a) comfortable with your anger and your right to express that anger and b) had a man not take what you’re telling him seriously in real life.
Basically, I think it’s supposed to code as reassuring/ reliable + attraction to the heroine, but actually codes as RED FLAG. RED FLAG.
One variation on the trope I will accept: when the heroine is going off on someone who has earned her wrath who is NOT THE HERO, and the hero thinks some version of “God, she’s magnificent/ powerful/ I do not want to get on her bad side.” It’s not the “he’s still attracted to her while she’s angry” part I find objectionable. It’s the not listening Red Flag combined with not taking the heroine seriously.
Also, as a lady in a same-sex relationship, I can definitely say when my wife is angry the LAST thing I am thinking about is how cute she is (which she is, all the time.) more like a sinking bad feeling about why she’s angry LIKE A NORMAL PERSON DEALING WITH AN ANGRY PERSON YOU CARE FOR.
Also I’m pretty sure I look like oscar the grouch meets Caroline Bingley when I’m angry soooo….
Along with the “she’s cute when she’s angry” trope, can we please get rid of the “he kisses her to shut her up” one? I hate it so much. I hated it the first time I read it, and I still hate it. It is one of the few things that instantly gets a DNF from me. That plot device should be shot, set on fire, and the ashes peed on.
AGREED! Anytime stalking leads to love ever after, I can literally feel the steam and the bitch face and growling is epic. Most recently for me this book, which is horrible incarnate. It’s in a group of paranormal romances I got for .99 on amazon and holy cow do I regret that .99. Full blown stalking with binoculars and hoping she’s always near a window. But it’s okay, because secretly she likes him too. #therage. Anyway, I totally understand the rantery here.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25780908-blood-flame
Rant on sister! Sexy stalker trope always scares me. I had one in my formative years and that shit IS NOT SEXY. It’s creepy and scary. And I totally agree about the you’re so pretty when you’re mad too! I end up hearing Chris Tucker in my head “Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?!?” Sorry you were stuck on a plane with that. And I am a firm believer that whoever gets stuck in the middle seat gets both the arm rests because dudes on the end have other options. Unless your the mom. And then you get shit.
*you’re
I have actually read this book, and I really love this author. Most of her stuff is awesome. While I like her other series more, this group of books is still really great.
I have a low tolerance for jerky heroes as well as heroines who are treated as if their own opinions on the relationship don’t matter (I nearly threw my Kindle last week with a similar book). I really didn’t get that vibe as much as you did with this couple, though. I don’t think he was any more “stalker-y” than any other hero interested in a heroine. The whole (small) town has her back, so I think she felt safe enough to explore her attraction to him (which she was, since she made out with him the first time she met him).
All in all, I’m sorry you had such a rough start, but I hope you try some of her other books (especially the vampire series), they are truly awesome.
Thanks!
Sorry if I missed it, but what book is this? Just so that I have a “heads up”:)
I read a book recently that started off this way and had to put it down. It was ticking me off that much. The woman (heroine) had a young child and didn’t want to date. She was setting up her own restaurant and her daughter had been through a lot. Hero ignores that because he loves redheads and was insisted on coming around and starting a relationship even though he knew he wasn’t staying long (he was a navy seal). I was so done.
And you know, I can’t think of anyone who is actually cute when they’re mad. Maybe like…babies? Puppies? And this frog: https://youtu.be/cBkWhkAZ9ds
Dear L:
Thank you for your rant. Made my day.
For all the guessers out there, I’m thinking the book is Shifting Dreams by Elizabeth Hunter. I kind of like the rant without title, though, because this kind of thing does tend to show up to varying degrees pretty often. It sounds like L didn’t mean to criticize the book so much as the trope itself.
I agree with Anne that I didn’t get that stalkery vibe as much on this one when I read it, either, but I just took another look, and I can see where she’s coming from. Maybe if you heard this beginning part of the protagonists’ relationship without knowing the outcome it sounds creepy, but in the context of the whole story, it felt different to me. It’s definitely interesting how different aspects stand out to different readers!
I am so down with the book rants! I’m reading through the Dark Carpathian series right now and I’ve been composing rants in my head throughout my reading. CONSENT, people. Is it THAT HARD?
Leah, you might check out Indiscreet by Mary Balogh. The hero does all this “no just means you haven’t realized you’re supposed to say yes” stuff but does eventually understand how appalling his behavior was.
I hate when the guy refusing to take no for an answer is treated like some attractive quality. There was a song on the radio the other day with appalling lyrics along these lines, like the guy was asking what the girl really meant when she said no. Ugh.
So what is this book’s name so I can avoid it like the Plague?
I 100% agree with the rant. It’s 2015. Women are to be respected. When I read books with these issues I give them terrible reviews.
I am also 100% convinced I read this book, right down to renting the trailer in the backyard and I can’t remember the name or the author.
I despise the “you’re cute when you’re angry” trope. It’s infantalizing. Edwardian men on the Titantic choosing not to tell their wives the boat was sinking. Ads in the 50’s selling… anything. It’s awful and it gets worse the more you think about it.
Why has no one mentioned the xkcd reference?!? L, I don’t know who you are, but you clearly have great taste in book heroes AND comics.
Thank you so much for this rant as this is also a trope that makes steam come out of my ears. The last few books I read featured this sort of bullshit & had I not been reading them on my Kindle, they would have been slammed against the wall in short order. Something else that is really getting on my nerves lately is the need for every heroine to be “innocent”. In the blurbs, in the story, she’s just so innocent *singsong voice*. Please for the love of Pete, stop this nonsense. I want more heroines with age/experience/selective natures, not wide-eyed ingenues. The innocent ones are the only ones worthy of love or at least a great relationship? BAH. And enough with the she’s so beautiful/gorgeous/pretty/cute/shiny but she doesn’t know it. Plain heroines FTW!
*end rant*
The last line of this rant is gold. I snort-laughed out loud.
I can see a hero finding the heroine sexy when she’s all riled up (hopefully at something else, not him): heaving chest, speaking with real emotion, etc. If a guy sees a girl’s anger as cute, he also sees her as harmless. A spitting kitten is cute.
Getting turned on watching her tell off another guy at a bar? Yes, give us that scene. Thinking she’s “cute” for telling YOU to take a hike? DIAF.