One thing I’ve been working on over the past two years is to summarize the purpose and goal of the site in as few words as possible, which I think I’ve done: we connect romance fans with one another, and with the books they want to read. Encompassing the goal of the site was a lot easier than trying to sum up 10 years.
I wanted to try to explain why you and your presence in the Bitchery community is so valuable, and how much I appreciate that you’re here. The site wouldn’t be what it is today without your being here. I also wanted to ask RedHeadedGirl, Elyse, Carrie and Amanda to talk about the site, too, so forgive us while we get a little schmoopy up in here.
RedHeadedGirl:
I have to thank Cleolinda, who is basically my Internet Fairy Godmother for all of this- I found Smart Bitches when she linked to the Cassie Edwards mishigas. I started reading romance again because of Smart Bitches, and in a very real way, writing for Smart Bitches kept me sane as I went through law school. (Note how many early reviews include something along the lines of “I should be writing a paper but instead I’m writing this!”) I honestly don’t think I would have made it through without this community, and you have all kept me grounded in a very real way in the years since, which I have sorely needed. Finding my (extremely short) sisters in Sarah, Amanda, Elyse, and Carrie has been something I couldn’t have imagined would result when I clicked that link about black-footed ferrets.
What I think is most important is how we value women’s stories- most other genres are very sausage heavy, and romance isn’t valued in the wider world because it’s focused on the things we are taught aren’t important and because it’s created and consumed by women. We can have the “is romance feminist” discussion until we are blue in the face (and we have), but what I think it comes down is that this is primarily women creating, and primarily women consuming. We are making our own stories and discussing them and critiquing them and analysing them and giving those stories the attention they deserve, rather than just saying “lol bodice ripper” and that’s the best part.
Amanda:
Oh, buddy.
I was almost done with high school. That’s when my romance reading really hit its stride. I devoured books from the library. I was a nonstop reading machine! I came across SBTB when I was in dire need of reading recs and I wasn’t disappointed. I religiously followed the site until I realized an internship was required for my BA degree in Editing, Writing, & Media. The program was new, so they didn’t really help with placement. Taking a shot in the dark, I emailed Sarah. I still have her response. The term “crazy train” was used. I became Sarah’s lackey and food taster (she’s a dangerous woman) for the next year and half. I relocated to Boston and Sarah offered me a permanent position at SBTB. But that’s enough of the boring history stuff.
Being a part of the SBTB family/team/posse/insert your own collective noun here, is something that I count myself lucky for every single day. These women are sisters, therapists, cheerleaders, and everything in between, and my mornings would be so sad without waking up to some ridiculous email from one of them.
RHG: Like, for example: “THERE’S VIDEO OF GRONK READING A GRONKING”
Amanda: I googled that so hard that I think I sprained my wrist. And it’s a Vine at a press conference. He says “butt cheeks” and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so happy.
On a professional note, the SBTB community and Sarah in particular have opened so many doors for me. I (gasp!) might actually wind up having a career I actually enjoy doing. I’m still amazed at the smiles and cheers of recognition I get when I tell people that I’m part of Smart Bitches.
Ten years is a long time for a blog, I feel. And I couldn’t be happier that Sarah hasn’t suffered a lapse in her insanity just yet, as the fearless conductor on this crazy train. The discussions that have been spawned in the comments, the engagement with readers to make the site bigger and better, the support from my fellow SBTB-ers, it’s all a great ecosystem to be a part of and I sincerely couldn’t be more grateful for the Bitchery.
Carrie:
I honestly can’t remember how I found the website, but it opened up so many new doors for me in terms of reading. Then I won a raffle. The prize was a copy of Maybe This Time, by Jennifer Crusie, and the winner was supposed to submit a review of the book. That was five years ago, and I’ve turned from a random lucky reviewer, to a frequent guest, to a regular reviewer. That first review changed my life in ways I would never have anticipated. Regardless of what I write and where I write it, my home will always be here at SBTB, where I was given my first chance and where I feel inspired and excited every day.
This community, not just the reviewers but also the commenters, is so nurturing and supportive that it was given me the confidence I needed to move on to the next stage of my life. This site has given me, in many ways, the safe base I need in order to go on scary adventures. I feel supported when I want to try to new things – if I make a proposal to Sarah, sometimes she says yes and sometimes no, but she gives every response in a way that encourages me to try another proposal down the line. When I submit a review, I know that the comments may not be in my favor, but they won’t be insulting either.
The books that I have found here have encouraged me to “be the heroine of my own story.” Sarah has taught me that it’s a good thing to ask for what I want. My reviewing sisters have taught me that people who are very different can be best friends. As cheesy as it sounds, this site has truly made me who I am today.
Elyse:
I’m not sure how I found Smart Bitches, but I remember being on vacation in Costa Rica and sitting in the lobby at night (for the Wifi), reading the F+ reviews out loud to my husband and cry-laughing. I think about a year later I emailed Sarah and asked if I could do a test review for her.
I’ve always loved romance novels and I’ve been made to feel ashamed of it, a lot. I started reading them in middle school and getting caught with a book about–whispers–sex would have been mortifying. When I went to college, I studied literature and romance novels were routinely maligned and snorted at. My deep dark secret was that as much I loved reading “serious literature,” I loved reading romance novels more. I actually remember a professor telling us once that someone had the emotional maturity of a Harlequin romance character.
I also worked at a bookstore and the people there were snooty and shitty about romance novels. Again, you were supposed to read “serious” fiction and we stocked romance novels for “those people.”
At some point I lost all my fucks. I realized the sexism inherent in calling a genre written primarily for women, by women, “trash.” But I didn’t have anyone to really talk to romance novels about. I had some friends who read them, but they didn’t love them the way I do. I needed someone who understood the glory and magic in orca-time-travel-penis crazysauce. When I found Smart Bitches I remember having this feeling like “Oh my God, there are people out there just like me,” and that’s so important and profound. At first it was just a validation that yes, there was this great hot pink palace where I could go and meet a community of like-minded people who were so much fun to talk with.
I get what Carrie says when she says the Bitchery made who she is. When you really, really love something and that thing is constantly denigrated, it eats away at a piece of you. When you find a community of people who also love and understand that thing, it’s truly powerful. It’s a validation of you as a person. No one should be ashamed of loving something (unless it’s setting puppies on fire or something, in which case you should be deeply ashamed), and Smart Bitches has given the internet community a resource to point out that, yeah, romance novels are smart and funny and sometimes weird and totally feminist, and they have important things to say, and I’m grateful for it.
Sarah:
I’ve been putting off writing this because it’s too big to encompass with 26 letters in various order. There wouldn’t be a 10th anniversary of Smart Bitches without you. (Yes, you. You look marvelous today, too!)
Because you’re here, hanging out and talking about romances, debating the issues within and about the genre, and being silly and smart (often at the same time), Smart Bitches exists. I have said many times that I don’t take myself seriously at all, but I take the community of SBTB very seriously, because I value, respect and treasure your presence here so much.
In the past ten years, I’ve learned so much about…everything. For example, the publishing process. I’ve met many of the people who work within publishing and the people who wish to change the way it works. I’ve watched the spotlight of attention on the accomplishments and strengths of the romance genre show up almost annually and then disappear (and it’s usually around Valentine’s Day, so get ready). I started as a reader who knew very little about writing reviews or about the publishing industry and became someone who has learned a lot about the intricacies of the industry and became a traditionally published and self-published author, too. I never expected any of that. I am enormously thankful.
I joke that I vastly underestimated two things when Smart Bitches began, one being the number of readers who love romance and feel isolated and alone because they have no one to talk to about the books they love. But it’s not actually a joke – it’s very true. I still receive email about once or twice a month from new readers who say, “Where have you been all my life? I have no one to talk about romance novels with, and here you all are!” That feeling is true for me every day. I am grateful beyond measure that I get to hang out with with people like you who understand and love the things I love. I’m not alone and isolated in my love of stories about people who get caught in the snow, and my frustration with fruitbasket descriptions of nipples.
Thank you for sharing your opinions of books, your recommendations and your rage, and your time and energy with us. Having a safe and welcoming space in which to discuss honestly how the books we read make us feel is vitally important, and it wouldn’t exist without you.
Thank you for being here, and for making ten years possible. May we all live happily ever after.
