Hey everyone! Welcome to the dorkiest show in town: The Librarians. We can’t resist its silly charms, as a team consisting of Eve (the fighter), Cassie, (the mathematician), Ezekiel (the thief) and Jake (the art historian) locate magical artifacts and solve magical mysteries with the occasional help of Flynn (the official Librarian) and Jenkins (keeper of The Annex). Here’s a recap and group review of Episode Three: “And the Horns of a Dilemma.”
This episode opens with a poor schmuck running around an office building. He begs two creepy robed figures for help, but they merely watch as Schmuck is dragged away by something unseen, after which they discuss where to order lunch for office budget meeting. One of the cloaked figured is played by Tricia Helfer which is just so awesome I could die (see: the rebooted Battlestar Galactica. No really, see it).
Did you know that Tricia Helfer and her BSG co-star Katee Sackhoff formed a charity called “Acting Outlaws” and every year they ride BMX bikes and motorcycles for charity and also sell a very sexy, NSFW calendar for said charity? Well, they do.
Back at The Annex, training is not going well. Eve doesn’t want to take the Scoobies into the field, but she agrees to let them investigate a series of disappearances. With a little research, the team discovers that the missing people were all interns at the same company (Golden Axe Foods) so it’s off to Boston to investigate via Jenkins’s magic door (not a euphemism). At the main Library (which you may recall is currently drifting somewhere in time and space) the artifacts are left alone but Jenkins is all “Fuck that I’m taking this shit apart, yo!”
Eve gets the team an interview with Karen, the CEO of Golden Axe Foods, who avows all innocence. Karen is person played by Tricia Helfer and I must say she steals this episode with aplomb. Eve and Karen exchange meaningful eye contact and head tilts in a challenging manner that is both ridiculous and awesome. Karen sends our group to HR, Eve splits off from the group to try to break into the company server, and as soon as our three newly-minted librarians get into an elevator we just know where this is all going. In circles, mostly.
I like how Eve doesn’t bother sneaking around the building – she just headbutts a guy, snags his keycard, and walks around like she owns the place, chatting to The Scoobies on her cell phone like it ain’t no thang. Eve finds a room full of art where the server should be, and she rather sensibly takes pictures of everything and texts them to Jake. Meanwhile The Scoobies find themselves in a tunnel lined with frescos. When they open the door marked “Human Resources”, they find lots of skulls and they rather sensibly run away, although I would have shut the door first.
Eve calls the team and they have this exchange:
Baird: I found something real weird.
Jake: Did you? We found something weird too!
Baird: I found a room full of really old art!
Jake: That is weird. We found a room full of human skulls!
Baird: What do you mean “human skulls”?
Jake: HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS CAN I MEAN HUMAN SKULLS?
At this point there’s a lot of running around. They make it back to The Annex due to one of Jenkin’ magic doors and we sit down and relax because it’s exposition time. Jenkins figures out that the labyrinth is powered by the ball of thread that Eve found in the art room, and that the minotaur can be injured but not killed. Eve wonders what she’s supposed to do if she can’t kill the thing, and Jenkins answers, “The library chose you for a reason, and trust me. It wasn’t your ability to kill.”
Eve has the team tell her the minotaur myth so that we, the audience, will understand even if we fell asleep during mythology class. The myth says that periodically the king sacrifices 14 virgins to the minotaur (seven men and seven women). According to Jake, “virgin” can mean inexperienced people, such as interns. The team is going to have to steal the thread in order to depower the labyrinth. Ezekiel gloats at the prospect.
Our guys magic-door-it back to Boston only to find that although they seem to be in the streets of Boston, they are still in the labyrinth. Jenkins says that the labyrinth is a state of mind, not a place. So instead of trying to get out, the Scoobies decide to head deeper in. The minotaur shifts into human form. His human form is a biker dude with glowing red eyes, of course. I’d have preferred them to go with something less obvious, personally. Jake and Eve try to distract the minotaur while Cassie and Ezekiel go look for string. This leads to two gratifying moments:
Moment #1: Jake and Eve hit the minotaur with a truck. I approve of this fighting tactic.
Moment #2: Cassie, with great determination and considerable edge, tells Ezekiel, “Back off. I’m doing math.”
And a thousand T-shirts are born.
Cassie and Zeke run around a lot and work through her emotional issues. She points out that no one trusts her and Ezekiel points out that his main fight tactic consists of abandoning his teammates. Aww, that’s sweet. They find the thread but darn it they also find Karen, who pulls a gun on them and has a truly delightful conversation with Zeke about the economic benefits of sacrificing interns.
Zeke and Cassie throw the ball of thread down the hall. Seeing as how it’s a magic ball (again, not a double entendre), it helpfully unwinds itself all the way to The Annex. The Scoobies escape from their respective pursuers and have a joyful reunion at the Annex, while poor Karen is eaten by the minotaur (presumably).
Jake and Cassie have a meaningful moment in which he describes having to hide his intelligence from his family and how happy he was to find people he could trust – and how upset he is to realize that he can’t trust Cassie. “I like you, I really do. I just can’t help it’” he says. Jake, I like, you, I really do. I just can’t help it. But that shirt is terrible.
Eve has her own realization – she’s been in the military for her entire adult life, but this is not a military team. She plans to change her tactics a bit. Everyone is excited about the next mystery, which will no doubt conveniently materialize in one week!
And…Reviews!
RHG:
TRICIA HELFER GODDESS AND QUEEN. I love Tricia Helfer. She’s brilliant and she’s been getting solid work since BSG, and she deserves to have the best career. I’m sad this is (probably) a one-off character (look, no body, no confirmed death, okay?) but applying management skillz to human sacrifice? That’s kinda brilliant.
“Have I mentioned I’m a World-Class Thief?” “Relentlessly.”
CARRIE:
Once again this show is, empirically speaking, not very good and once again, empirically speaking, I will watch every single episode because it is so yummy. I like seeing Cassie act tough. Her “Back off” moment was glorious. Also I thought Rebecca Romijn was much better in this episode. I know Sarah has hair hate (see below) but I like it that she keeps it back in a practical way. After years in which the fighting female lead has to wear her hair down so that life will be easier for the stunt double, it’s nice to see an action girl put her hair up, for crying out loud. My favorite part of the episode other than Tricia owning everything and the math line was watching Eve do secret agent work by looking confident, professional, and assured – which really did seem like it would work better than slinking around doorways.
It’s still a bland show. There’s not much compelling actual tension. But the premise of the episode was a fun one, and I like seeing the team work together. I wish every episode could have Karen the evil CEO. She could take over for Charlene and make the team bring home their receipts. It would be glorious.
Sarah:
Carrie says it best: it’s not great, but it’s delicious. Like, the plots and the things to look at are so interesting, the fact that some of the dialogue is completely doofy and often repetitive is no big whoop. The show and its storylines don’t ask a lot of me, they don’t play with or manipulate my feelings, and even with the goofy parts, I still think it’s intelligent and clever.
Is it as good without Noah Wyle? I’m not sure, since he had great chemistry with the group, though none with Rebecca Romijn. Without Wyle, she has to serve (temporarily) as the obstacle holding the group back from doing more stuff, and then work with them when their skill set is very different from hers. That awkward skill set tension is subtle but interesting, and thus the characters’ interaction is wooden and stilted enough that it works to support that tension instead of bugging the crap out of me.
My notes from the show:
Eve, or Cassie, or Jake, or someone: We’re in a labyrinth!
Me: With cell service!
How is it that I do not have cell service in my own kitchen but they have perfect cellular reception in the server room/hall of antiquities, AND in the labyrinth, which appears to be made of stone and BELOW GROUND.
Is the labyrinth sponsored by a particular telcom? Like, is it the Verizon Customer Service Queue Labyrinth? Someone needs to explain that magic to me.
I was going to be frustrated with Eve again, because of course her hair is magically perfect, even when her face is magically sweaty.
But then the somewhat shabby cosplay minotaur (by which I mean, that particular minotaur looked like last minute shabby cosplay, not that all cosplay is shabby, which it is not) got shot in the groin, and I didn’t care much what she looked like because shabby cosplay minotaur got shot in his mini-taur!
Also, there was a moment when I would swear that Indigo’s sword from The Princess Bride was being used by Jake.
The transformation of the shabby cosplay minotaur to angry biker with nose ring and man boobs was goofy, but it created a much more menacing villain that the gang (who I have been calling the Loobies) to face.
Also, did anyone notice that Jenkins uses a different telephone every time? How many phones does he have?
Two things that bugged me – as RedHeadedGirl pointed out, world class thief? YES WE GET IT.
And do all the dudes have to talk fragile, lost Cassandra off a ledge? Is that their job? Because it’s annoying and repetitive.
Jake had the best scene in the episode for me, though, when he explained that he didn’t tell anyone he knows, not even his family, about his brain and his abilities, and how damaging it was when betrayed them because he’d trusted her. It was a really simple scene, but Jake’s inability to articulate his own intellect paired with his clear explanation of why he was keeping his distance from Cassie was powerful and well done.
Elyse: This show is like salad and breadsticks from Olive Garden. I know I’m just eating Dole lettuce out of a bag plus a TON of sodium, but I want more of it now.
This episode worked better for me, I think, because Noah Wylie wasn’t there distracting me with his awesomeness. I am struggling a little bit with Jenkins because of Night Court and Boston Legal and West Wing. If he’s not a cynical lawyer, I don’t buy it.
Also, brain grape. Wouldn’t the brain grape also give her seizures and migraines and not just superpowers? That’s kind of knit picky, I know.
I loved Tricia Helfer in this (and everything); “I amortized the human sacrifices!”
I agree that the best scene was Jake explaining how deeply Cassandra’s betrayal hurt him. I think it was an interesting counterpoint to Ezekiel telling her that he would have done the exact same thing and didn’t judge her. Jake is the tough on the outside but vulnerable, secret carrying hero of my heart. I’d read the shit out of him as a romance hero (can you hear me Kate Noble? Puh-leez?).
What about you? Are you still watching? What did you think?
Still watching. It’s fluff but it’s fun fluff. And the heroes are heroes and there’s a good vs evil feel with hope.
Parts of the episode were weak but the whole thing was pretty fun.
Speaking of Kate Noble, I did a full on triple take and follow-up happy dance take when watching the credits. Kate Rorick/ Noble got a writing credit for this episode (as “Executive Story Editor”) and it looks like she’s getting one for an upcoming ep called “And the Fables of Doom.” This is only the beginning of vulnerable, secret carrying Jake! Woo hoo!
It’s look like a love triangle between Cassie, Ezekiel and Jake is being set up. Eve’s job is to balance off Cassie, although I like her with Flynn. As for Tricia Helfer, I like her, but I thought she was nondescript here.
Still watching. Still having fun. Loving Jake – even though I hate the hair. Hoping that with the talent involved,the show will evolve. This week: Santa Claus!!
Oh, my God, the Verizon Customer Service Queue Labyrinth makes perfect sense.
Shows like this help me realize that in addition to competence porn, I like teamwork porn. Maybe if I ever try writing again, I’ll try writing about a team of really competent people who get together to do interesting, important stuff and take breaks to have lots of sex with each other.
“I like teamwork porn.”
Sadly, far too often teams are assiated with bureaucracies/organizations that are incompetent, and only one rogue person (and maybe his/her buddy) can take care of business. There are some shows/movies where teams do work together — LEVERAGE, CRIMINAL MINDS, CSI, even THE FLASH and ARROW — but far more often it’s the lone hero who takes care of things despite the organization: DIE HARD, 24 (which had the fun first episode drinking game: Take a shot when Jack realizes the organization has a mole and he can’t trust anyone in it), Christopher Nolan’s DARK KNIGHT trilogy, virtually any show with a retired police officer, etc. One reason I liked the movie APOLLO 13 so much is that it broke this rule by showing that the organization was composed of actually competent people who all worked together to solve the problem, instead of being a bumbling bureaucracy one rebel had to work against.
Ohmigod you guys – the next one has BRUCE CAMPBELL as Santa!!! He is perfect for this show.
This episode, Horns of a Dilemma, I liked better without the forced interaction between Eve & Flynn (agree very strongly with Sarah on that point). And that final bit with Cassie and Jake was good.
Yes, it’s fluff, but I need some fluff hubby & I can watch together. And we both laugh with/at it.
Still watching because the show is still fun,but I’m watching it on the internet and the episode lagged way too much. I also don’t like how the “Scoobies” figure everything out in like five seconds. I know this is one of those shows that the end is a given(our heroes will be all right and the big bad will be defeated), but a little more tension would be nice.
However, Cassie is still adorable and so is Jake(I know how small towns work and understand why he felt he had to hide his intelligence), but I may not follow this show all the way through. I will give it a few more episodes though before I give up on it completely, because I’m still a nerd who absolutely adores mythology and adventure stories.
@GarlicKnitter:
YES. TEAMWORK PORN! I love that, too – in all the incarnations. YES. Thank you for identifying that!
And if the competent people do interesting things, and take breaks to have sex, as long as the bad guys aren’t chasing them at that moment, bring it on!
Generally, my husband and I are enjoying the show, despite some of the dubious mythology/science. I really like all of the characters quite a bit and I don’t miss Flynn, at all, but I’m not a big Noah Wyle fan. (For me, he’s the acting equivalent of oatmeal. Satisfying in the right context, but not something I miss or even think about for months on end.)
More specifically, the 2nd episode was better than the first and the third was better than the second. This is a good sign. I also think they’ve done a marvelous job with their guest stars, thus far. Tricia Helfer was her usual, wonderful self – dry, wry, lovely and fun. Love her work! Loved her as the evil CEO and, I agree, we didn’t see her die, so I’m hoping she can come back. The latest episode had Bruce Campbell as Santa Claus and that was a true treat! Thought that ep was a little heavy-handed with Eve’s “I HATE ALL THINGS CHRISTMAS AND DON’T TRY TO MAKE ME HAVE AN EPIPHANY ABOUT GOODWILL AND CHRISTMAS, DAMMIT!”, but all in all, very enjoyable. (It does remind me though, of my personal pet peeve – could we NOT have every episode end with one or more of the gang experiencing an epiphany-induced personal growth moment? We can have character growth over the course of the season without turning every ep some essential life lesson.)
Elizabeth Hoyt has already picked Christian Kane to be Asa Makepeace in the next Maiden Lane book: https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethHoytBooks/posts/10152418506447301
(description and nominations were here: https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethHoytBooks/posts/10152412363882301 I think she made the right choice.)
Dear Sarah,
In your comment about the sword from The Princess Bride, the character’s name is Íñigo Montoya, not Índigo Montoya.
Kay
CRAP. You’re right! My bad!