Romance Novel Reader Workout XVII

burly bicep holding stack of booksThe recent flood of articles about romance that can best be described as “dubious” means there is even MORE opportunity for working out. Here are MORE exercises based on those elements so frequently found in sketchy examinations of romance. Extra points if you do each exercise while holding one eyebrow up, AND giving the side-eye. 

Like the previous workouts, you can do all these exercises with a mat and your own bodyweight. No additional weights are needed unless you want to use some. Extra weight ups the challenge.

Standard disclaimers still apply: nope, still not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen.

Drink lots of water, read lots of books. K?

And yes! By reader request, I have a convenient PDF of all the workouts so far. Each page has two images on it, and the PDF is 1.5MB+ in size. You are welcome to print and distribute the workouts, give them as gifts, or use them as bookmarks.

Download the Romance Novel Workout PDF Collection here.

And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part XVII, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!

<br />
Too many articles that make you roll your eyes? They still don’t burn enough calories. Any mention of the following, do the corresponding exercise, then repeat once for every comment or mention of that same article.</p>
<p>Writer name checks Pride & Prejudice:*   25 jump squats</p>
<p>Writer calls Gone With the Wind      a romance novel:*                         25 bicycles<br />
Writer refers to all romances<br />
     as Harlequins:*                             25 lunges<br />
Any mention of Janet Radway:               25 leg lifts</p>
<p>Any mention of romance experts<br />
     no one has ever heard of:*               25 skaters</p>
<p>Any reference to 50 Shades:                    1 min plank</p>
<p>Any reference to Fabio:                         15 push ups</p>
<p>Bonus: Article mentions Fabio, but<br />
     picture is of John DeSalvo:                25 crunches</p>
<p>Any mention of Wal Mart, Target<br />
     or truck stops:                              25 tricep dips</p>
<p>                    *Thanks to Angela James & Jane Litte for suggestions</p>
<p>

 

If you have questions or suggestions for future workouts, please share, either in the comments or via email.

And remember the rallying cry of the workout: unless you faint, puke, or die, KEEP READING! AND BREATHING! 

Thank you to BigStock for the booklifting image!
Categorized:

Fun And Games

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    LenoreJ says:

    Normally I’m laughing too hard to get through the workout. I whipped through this one in a state of “high dudgeon”. A little fury does a body good!

  2. 2
    Lil says:

    “Dubious” articles about romance? I can’t even keep my relatives from making these “dubious” cracks.

  3. 3
    Fahrenheit says:

    Any link to share?

  4. 4
    Dread Pirate Rachel says:

    Is this workout specifically a reaction to last week’s Salon piece? That article was a particularly insidious little fucker. My “favorite” part was the following:

    Romance is like punk rock for middle-aged women (and some other folks too, obviously)

    How witty! How original! I’ve never, ever, ever heard the entire readership of the romance genre described as middle-aged women before! How lucky for us that this man, in all the wisdom bestowed upon him by his possession of a penis, is here to render the genre respectable and to show all of us poor, ignorant, middle-aged women (and some other folks too, obviously) the Real Way to Read Romance. Because we were all doing it wrong before, you know. Thank jeebus for the penis!

  5. 5
    denise says:

    these are so fab!

  6. 6
    Kelly S. says:

    My current annoyance is with references to a tall woman having “Mile-long legs”.  I know it is just a metaphor, but think about it.  One mile is 5,280 feet.  Have you ever met a woman 8 feet tall let alone 5,280 feet plus some for her either ridiculously disproportionate torso or her equally long (a mile) tall torso?  Empire State Building is only 1,454 feet tall.  It’s just a lousy expression which is being over used in the novel I’m currently reading.  I’ve read 65 pages and comments on her mile long legs that go on forever (ahem, ah no they don’t) have been made at least 3 times.  Also, he’s laid back.  I’ve been told this every time the heroine sees him, so I know this.  Although, he’s also smart, kind, sharp, caring, and laid back. 

    So for more workouts, cliches – mile long legs, legs that go forever, …

    Oh, and this super tall woman wears only heels.  So far 3” and 4” heels have been explicitly mentioned.  Because you know, she needs them. Humpf

  7. 7
    Bona says:

    Great workout! I’ll try to remember it somebody organises the next kerfuffle about romance novels.
    There will always be another one.

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