Links! Things to Read! Like An Endless Collection of Text and Images!

Keeper - high waisted jeans on a shirtless dude with his arm stuck on wrong Two weeks ago, we took a look at the front and back of Keeper by Patricia Gardner Evans. In the comments, more than a few readers said the book itself was really good, and definitely not one to judge by the “still wasters” on the cover. So I took at look at the copy I'd ordered so I could scan the cover, and boy howdy, was it interesting. It's powerful and emotional and the heroine especially is compelling and complex.  So I wrote about it for Kirkus

One thing I learned early when talking about romances online—and books in general—is that while the author has some input into the cover art of her book, and that amount varies by publisher, most of the time, the cover art is far outside the author's control. And, more importantly, the cover art often—very, very often—doesn't match the book inside.

Such is the case with Keeper by Patricia Gardner Evans.

Mr. Odd-Shoulder With a Typo, whose name is Cleese (though if I read it too quickly when my eyes are tired I do see it as “Cheese”), is a fascinating hero. He's the CEO (of course) of a large company in Texas (of course) and he's smart, powerful and resourceful (of course). Cleese also REALLY likes fishing. When he first sees the heroine, she's poaching on his land. When he watches her fish for bass and watches her enjoy more success than he usually has in the same spots, he becomes intrigued. They meet, he drives her to her car in a rainstorm, and he tries to figure out how they might meet again, and then again.

There are two things about this book that are fascinating. First, the heroine, Laurel, is a widow, and her late husband was abusive, physically and emotionally. She works as an illustrator, but she volunteers frequently at an organization that counsels abused spouses, giving them support and techniques to stop their abusers or leave the relationship altogether. Most of the scenes when she's not with Cleese feature her volunteering, practicing dialogue with other women and strategizing how to help them undo the damage to their confidence and their self worth.

I will say this: OH SWEET TAPDANCING TUNAFISH the TYPE IS SO SMALL in this book. I included a picture in the Kirkus entry, and seriously. OW. This book isn't available digitally, and I wish it were because MY EYES. They're wondering what they did wrong and why I'm punishing them this way. 

Via Jennifer Lohmann: what would it look like if aliens were writing erotica about humans having sex? It would look… completely 0_o:

“With absolutely no regard for personal space, the two of them created an unnecessary amount of friction, generating sweat in the process.”

“Some sort of gel emerged.”

“One sat upon the other, like furniture that sneaks inside of your body.”

If any female arousal comes with mention of gel and it's not lube, we're going to have words. Many, many words. 

Do you want to make your own marshmallow Peeps? Yes, of course you want to make your own marshmallow Peeps

Book Farrah Rochon I have to offer an apology for my brain, which is really holding onto a mixed idea. 

I've received a few links (thank you to Katie, Kelly, and Mandobee) about Farrah Abraham writing an erotic novel. The reaction seems to be OMGTRAINWRECKRUNHIDE!

Now, I watch very little tv (I am not good at watching tv and have developed a huge distrust for tv writers) and what little I do watch is not reality tv, so I have no idea who Farrah Abraham is. Like, none. No concept or frame of reference. 

But I know who Farrah Rochon is! 

Farrah Rochon writes romances!  

So EVERY TIME I see “Farrah Abraham” my brain superimposes “Farrah Rochon,” and I think, Wait, Farrah Rochon is writing erotica now?

And THEN I think, Why would anyone be upset about that?

Then I have to correct my brain again.

And again.

And AGAIN. Like, six times now.

Because Farrah Abraham writing erotic fiction published by Ellora's Cave (of course it is) is gathering a lot of press, and every time I see some of it, I keep thinking that Farrah Rochon has branched into erotic fiction. 

Which she hasn't. Farrah Rochon writes contemporaries. But if she did write erotic romance IT WOULD BE AWESOME. 

So, I'm sorry Farrah Rochon. 

Maybe we should all pretend that all the Farrah Abraham press is really about Farrah Rochon's contemporaries. That might help, right? 

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The Link-O-Lator

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  1. 1
    AReader says:

    This may be a weird opinion, but I remember really loving it when I’d open an old category romance and find it had tiny text, because it meant I was getting more story. Off the top of my head, I can think of several wonderful old Intimate Moments and Intrigues from the 90s that had the really small type—Beverly Bird’s “Compromising Positions,” Naomi Horton’s “Wild Ways” (I think), M.J. Rodgers’ “To Have vs. To Hold” and “The Dream Wedding.” They were still 250 pages like all the rest, but I loved how much more there was to them and that I was getting more for my money. For that I was happy to put up with the small text. (On the flipside, so many of today’s category lines have both shorter page counts and larger text, and there really is less to them, which is one reason why I’ve gradually drifted away, because they’re less satisfying.)

  2. 2
    Dora says:

    I sort of know what AReader means. Sometimes you can pick up a book these days and the font and size make it look like it was typed up by an annoyed teenager trying to meet a page requirement on an essay. You know, using larger fonts so you have to write less? Not their intent, of course, just something that springs to mind. “Awww, this book is gonna be way less meaty than I thought.”

    At the same time, having really bad eyes even WITH glasses myself, I totally get Sarah’s opinion. I get eyestrain really easy, so tiny text is a killer. And are we sure that isn’t Patrick Warburton on that cover?

  3. 3
    Sarita says:

    I’m really intrigued by the peeps recipe. I can’t eat sugar, so I do a lot of experimental dessert making, trying to produce substitutes for the fun desserts that don’t totally suck. (the bar on sugar free stuff you buy in a store has been improving recently, it used to all taste pretty nasty. But the variety is still limited) Marshmallows are one of those things that’s hard to find sugarless, so maybe I’ll play with trying to convert this recipe.

  4. 4
    Vicki says:

    I’m interested in Sarita making peeps without sugar. Personally, I don’t do gelatin so will be trying agar or something. But I am very interested in trying it. Peeps are great.

  5. 5
    Lindsay says:

    My first thought when I clicked through to The Toast article—of COURSE it’s by Mallory. Her stuff is brilliant in an often terrifying way, especially her re-written children’s books.

  6. 6
    Bona says:

    It was really funny the part about aliens commenting human sex. Thank you for puttin a smile on my face, now that is Sunday but I have to work anyway.

    And it’s very interesting that some Harlequins and that kind of novels with horrifying covers are, as a matter of fact, wonderful stories with meat in them, like that one. It’s a pity it’s not digital, because otherwise is very difficult to find.l And I agree with you. When you arrive at a certain age in your live,… well certain types are really impossible to read. It strains your eyes. So I agree wholeheartedly with this post. Thank God kindle exists!

  7. 7
    Sherrie says:

    I apparently live in a vacuum because I didn’t know who Farrah Abraham was either. Alas,I looked her up and it didn’t enlighten me. I aspire to write but erotica tends to irritate me. Most of it seems to be about subjugation and not mutual carnal enjoyment.  Maybe I’m just old-fashion because I still believe in the outdated notions of honor, loyalty and love.

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