A little while back I bitched about my ten least favorite things in romance novel sex scenes—things like nipple scissors and cervical penetration. Now, I tease because I love, and I think most readers of romance take the silliness that occasionally pops up in romance novels with a grain of salt. I heard via the Twitter rumor mill that some people on Facebook used my post as fodder for deriding the romance genre. I can’t confirm this, but obviously that was not my intention when I posted my bitch list.
To be fair, there a lot of really amazing sex scenes in romance. I’m talking about authors who use sex not just to titillate but to show character growth and intimacy in an important way or to push the boundaries of what’s typically considered acceptable in the genre.
So here’s my list of the Big Ten—sex scenes I found compelling, thought-provoking or just plain fun.
Secure your dental dams, here we go:
10. Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife by Linda Berdoll ( A | BN | K)
Admit it, you’ve wondered what Darcy was like in bed, haven’t you?
I read this book back when it was The Bar Sinister and I was studying abroad in Germany. Want to know what I remember about Germany?
What Mr. Darcy is like in bed, that’s what.
“Pray, can you bear it, Lizzy? I fear I must have you again.”
Hot damn.
9. The Silver Creek Cowboys series by Maisey Yates ( A | BN | K)
Let’s be honest here, sex is often funny. As long as you’re not pointing and laughing, cracking up while getting it on can be a good thing.
If you like characters who banter during sex, look no further. Yates writes sexy-quippy-snarky-giggle sex. Her characters are vulnerable and self-deprecating and often very funny, even during those intimate moments. It's hard to come up with a good excerpt to show this because the tension, both comical and sexual, builds over pages.
Carly and Lucas in Unbuttoned drive each other crazy. She thinks he's an irresponsible playboy, and he thinks she needs to loosen up. When they finally reach critical mass and wind up in bed, Carly neglects to mention she's a virgin. This is the “aferglow” scene:
“Dammit, Carly,” he breathed, rolling to the side.
The loss of his body over hers made her feel cold. Exposed.
“What?” she asked, staring at the ceiling.
…He put both hands over his face and drew them down. “Why didn't you tell me?”
“That's a very open-ended question. Why didn't I tell you that Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore? Why didn't I tell you that I can believe it's not butter?”
“Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?”
“Oh…that. I forgot.”
“You forgot?”
“In my defense, your hymen really doesn't do much, so it's easy to kind of let it slip your mind.”
8. Seven Nights to Forever by Evangeline Collins ( A | BN | K) (SB Sarah's review: B-)
If you want to read a book that will tear out your guts, stomp on them and then stuff them back into your body BUT LIKE IN A GOOD WAY, this is the book for you. Seven Nights to Forever is probably the most emotionally wrenching romance I’ve read.
The hero is being emotionally abused by his wife, but he can’t leave her. The heroine is a prostitute he hires in a desperate search for affection as well as sex. The sex scenes are so full of bittersweet goodness they’ll make your teeth hurt. Despite the fact that Rose is a prostitute, she and James don't make love intiially. Their night together is chaste, far more about intimacy and comfort than sex.
But above all, it had felt so good to hold her, to have the soft, light weight of her body pressed against his. To have her small hand tight in his. To have the sweet, subtle scent of her fill his every breath. It had been too long since he had simply held a woman. Before his marriage, he would never have considered such a simple act a luxury. But after three years of famine, he had soaked up Rose's presence as if she were a precious drop of rain in the desert.
So they haven't even had sex yet and I've been soundly kicked in the feels.
7. Anything by Victoria Dahl
Because her heroines masturbate. Okay, maybe not all her heroines (I haven’t read all her books yet), but some of them do. And I appreciate a heroine who isn’t a stranger to her dewy petals of delight when she first meets the hero.
In this except from So Tough to Tame ( A | BN | K), the heroine, Charlie, lives in the apartment next to the hero, Walker. The share a bathroom wall and one night she's taking a bath when she hears him in the shower, groaning. She assumes he's masturbating which really turns her on. This is a solo sex scene that's as steamy as when Walker and Charlie do hook up:
Charlie slipped a hand between her legs. She was already wet, slippery despite the water. She bit her lip to keep from crying out at the pleasure, but that didn't stop the feeling. It didn't stop her thighs from clenching or her hips from jumping. Her other hand toyed with her hard nipple, pinching and teasing it as she stroked herself.
She wished she could watch him. God, she'd love to see him as he jerked off, one hand braced against the shower wall as water sluiced down his back.
6. Burn by Maya Banks ( A | BN | K)
Banks made my last list because of my irritation with three-ways where the dudes do not touch (she’s not the only one guilty of that, obviously). She’s also on this list because she writes really hot, steamy awesome sex in general. Go read Rush.
Do it right now.
Go on. I’ll wait.
Okay?
I just listened to Burn on audio and aside from the narrator sounding disturbingly like Keanu Reeves (Whoa! Josie!) I enjoyed it. One thing I liked is that the heroine isn’t able to orgasm from penetration alone, and the hero, Ash, doesn't get all asshurt about it. He also doesn't magically make her come with his mighty wang of lovin'. There's nothing wrong with Josie, so there's nothing for him to “fix.”
Color flooded her cheeks and suffused her body, making it delectably pink. “I've never been able to come from just penetration.”
He lowered himself, coming to rest on his forearms so his face was just above hers, their mouths precariously close.
“A lot of women can't come without clitoral stimulation,” he said gently. “Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Furthermore, even if it was an oddity, you don't ever hesitate to tell me what you need in bed. Got it? I can't please you if I don't know what turns you on and what doesn't. And I want to see you pleased because it makes me happy.”
There’s a lot statistics out there about the elusiveness of the vaginal orgasm vs the clitoral orgasm. In my opinion, the vaginal orgasm in current romances are like the simultaneous orgasms in Old Skools. I tend to look at both with squinty eyes.
It’s nice that Banks went there so Josie could…you know…get there.
5. An Affair Before Christmas by Eloisa James ( A | BN | K)
Full disclosure, this book didn’t really work for me. I love James, but this one was a ‘meh’ in my book.
That said, she addresses sex in historicals in new and refreshing ways. Ever wonder how a historical heroine could get hot and bothered while wearing 80 pounds of skirts and a corset? Yeah, me too. In this book, Poppy, the heroine, doesn’t really enjoy sex because she’s encumbered by the trappings of the day. She has a giant, powdered Marie Antoinette bouffant hairdo for fuck’s sake. She’s lying there thinking “Christ, my hair itches” while they’re getting it on.
Here Fletch bathes Poppy, and starts to realize what she sacrifices for the idea of beauty. Because she has that crazy bouffant, it takes a couple of hours to wash her hair at night.
“A couple of hours!” Fletch stopped trying to get his fingers through the snarls of hair. “You're wasting a couple of hours every night on this. And what about the nights I when I came to your bed–you would stay up for two more hours washing your hair?”
Poppy blinked up at him. Wet rat tails hung over her eyes. “Sometimes when I'm very tired, I almost fall asleep, but I cannot sleep with powder in my hair. It starts to itch horribly after a day. On a bad day I can absolutely crazed by supper time. It's hard to sit still.”
Fletch stared down at her. “Poppy,” he said slowly, “would you say that your head was itching when we were making love?”
She went still for a second and then, “Only sometimes.” She sounded like a guilty little girl. He stared down at her head feeling as if dawn had just broken over his head.
I personally thought that Poppy should have squirreled a cookie or two away in that massive ‘do, so while the duke was going to town she could at least reach up and sneak a quick snack. Instead she cuts off all her hair. Pixie cuts of the world unite!
Now I’m waiting for the book where the heroine unlaces her corset a little so she can fart. Admit it, you’ve thought about it too.
4. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon ( A | BN | K)
I read this book when I was about 15 or 16. It was amazing, and it also blew my little ol’ mind. If you’ve never read Outlander, stop here and go check it out.
Read it? Spoiler free?
If not, be ye warned, spoilers abound!
Okay, in this book our hero, Jamie, [SPOILER – highlight to read] is raped and has to learn to be intimate with his partner, Claire, again. Now, when I read this it never occurred to me that a hero could be raped. It was the first time I’d read it and I was shocked. I’d read enough Old Skools that I was used to the heroine being raped (either by the hero or the villain or both) and shamefully, I was sort of immune to it. When I read about Jamie’s assault it made me wonder how he could recover, how he could still be the hero. At this point all the heroes I read were sexually experienced and invulnerable. Their epic man-titties were like bronze breastplates, keeping all the hurts of the world at bay.
When Jamie and Claire are intimate again it’s in a sort of PTSD-haze, and it’s raw and wrenching. This book changed the way I thought about sexual assault and about literary heroes.
3. Escorted by Claire Kent ( A | BN | K)
This is a book about a heroine who hires a male prostitute to take her virginity. Yes, there are two prostitution books on this list. I have a Pretty Woman thing.
The thing I liked about this book was Kent shows her characters practicing safe sex. In most contemporaries if there is condom use during intercourse, they hero and heroine don’t practice safe sex during oral sex. Anders, the hero, packs a dental dam, and it doesn’t ruin the scene at all.
She felt him making adjustments farther down the mattress and heard the rustling of what must be the dam. Then she gasped loudly when she felt something slick touch her intimately.
“May I start?” [Anders'] voice came from between her legs.
“Yes.” She clenched her fingers around the edge of the headboard so tightly her knuckles must have whitened.
Now, I learned about dental dams in high school health class. The teacher, my Phy Ed teacher, was so uncomfortable that he’d just read really fast out of the textbook and skip any words that made him nervous, words like “penis” and “vagina.” The result was a fucked up Mad Libs. All I knew was that a dental dam was placed on the NOUN during NOUN to prevent the contraction of PLURAL NOUN.
I’m willing to suspend some disbelief in terms of safe sex in romance novels, but no way would I have bought a prostitute hero not practicing safe sex. Kudos to Kent for being real.
2. Once Upon a Tower by Eloisa James ( A | BN | K)
Yes, James makes this list twice because it’s my list and YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. If you’ve read a lot of deflowering scenes filled with shimmering orgasms and thought “for reals?” then this is the book for you.
Gowan and Edie are virgins on their wedding night, and Edie doesn’t enjoy the sex. In fact that night, and subsequent attempts, hurt her. She fakes her orgasms. When Gowan finds out about this he’s all asshurt about it and hence the conflict.
Edie and Gowan have to learn about each other as people and grow as a couple. Gowan needs to see his wife as a whole person with hopes and dreams, and Edie needs to be honest with her husband. Then the orgasms will come, grasshopper.
James writes some great books about intimacy within marriage, and this is one of the best.
1.One Final Step by Stephanie Doyle ( A | BN | K)
Doyle has big brass balls (figuratively speaking, of course). It’s like someone handed her a list of things that won’t work in romance, then she sets fire to the list and uses it to light her bad-ass cigar. She addresses two taboo topics in this book: erectile dysfunction and [SPOILER – highlight to read] a hero who is raped in prison.
Yup, her hero pops little blue pills to get it up, and he can't orgasm. And his backstory affects his ability to be intimate with women. And she writes it all without having the heroine and hero sitting in separate bathtubs staring out at a sunset (what the fuck, Cialis? JUST PUT THEM IN THE SAME GODDAMNED BATHTUB).
Doyle fearlessly pushes boundaries, and I commend her.
The best sex, at least in romance novels, is often infused with emotion, whether it's angst or joy, and it shows the characters in a meaningful way. When it's also hot and reflects the average person's sexual experience without resorting to purple prose? That's golden. So which scenes make you happy? Who do you think writes great sex?
Satisfaction, by Sarah Mayberry. Best sex scenes I’ve read in a while, and they are definitely integral to the plot. The heroine has never experienced orgasm, and the hero is determined to help her get over that—it could be SO cheesy, but Mayberry makes it hot, sweet and empowering.
My mom actually read a book where the herione farted during sex. Im trying to find that book.
@denise:
Per your request, water coolers at Bitchery HQ have been augmented with margarita, wine, bourbon, whiskey, beer, and cocktail on tap, along with holy crap cold water. Thank you for the suggestion!
@42 Mslannette: that book might be Princess Daisy by Judith Krantz.
My favorite sexy scenes in a book are in “Faith and Fidelity” by Tere Michaels. The characters are Matt, a lifelong heterosexual one-night-stand-only guy, and Evan, who’d only been with his wife, whom he’d met and married when they were teenagers (his wife was killed in a car accident a year earlier). The sexual tension is sizzling, but they’re very intimate and have a wonderful humorous chemistry that becomes more evident as time goes on. They are also obviously two men who had no previous homosexual experience. They’re awkward, unsure, and even by the end of the book they aren’t “doing it like porn stars” – they’re still in the experimental phase. This conversation before their first sexual experience together says so much about them and their ability to communicate with each other:
“Matt, please just sit down.” Matt stopped, standing a few feet from Evan with his dress shirt open and his eyes wild. “No.”
“Why not?” Evan was growing weary of these repetitive conversations. “You wanted me here, didn’t you?”
“I want you… here. I want you exactly where you are right now, but… I don’t know what to do.”
Evan smiled sadly. “Join the club. I probably have even less of a clue.”
Matt clenched his fists at his side. “Finding myself turned on enough to cut glass and not knowing what the fuck to do about it is a new and unpleasant experience.”
“Matt, please.”
Matt waited for another moment, then pulled his shirt the rest of the way off, now in just his T-shirt and slacks. He watched Evan drain the rest of the beer – loved to see his mouth, his throat, moving, swallowing – then put it down next to the bed. Watched him slowly unbutton his own shirt.
“Come over here and sit down before I lose my nerve.”
And this, immediately after their encounter:
“You okay?” Matt asked softly, worriedly scanning his face.
“Yeah, it just felt…”
Matt held his breath.
“Strange… to be touching someone… else.” His voice broke, and Matt watched his eyes get bright. “I’m glad it was you though.”
“Thanks.” He didn’t think he could say more with this enormous lump in his throat.
Evan scooted a little closer, so their bodies were touching. Matt smiled at that, rested his head near Evan’s, an arm over his midsection. They lay there for a long time, silent but comfortable.
“Was it all you hoped for and more?” Matt finally said, trying to break the quiet.
That got a small laugh out of Evan.
Matt pulled up on one elbow.
“What now?” Evan asked, staring.
“I’d say get cleaned up. And get some dinner. I’m starving.”
“I meant long-term, but that all sounds pretty good.”
“I thought we should start small.”
Evan smiled up at Matt. “You’re not going to let me be maudlin, are you?”
“Nope, sorry. I just got rid of about eight weeks’ worth of tension. I feel great.” He leaned down and they kissed again, long and slow. “Hmmm… I like kissing you.”
“That part we seem to be pretty good at.”
“We’ll work at the rest of it, okay? I’m pretty sure with some practice I can convert some of my A material.”
Heather, I just bought “Faith and Fidelity” based on that blurb!
I wasn’t a big fan of Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation, but that alarm clock throwing scene was excellent, and super hot.
@Jimthered: that is fascinating. I wish an academic would write about this!
@ maybeimamazed02: if you’re like me, you’ll do the “OMG MOAR BOOK” squee when you get done and run to buy the next two books and the novella in this series. LOL I don’t reread books much, but I’ve read this series over and over, and I never get tired of it. For me, it’s the ultimate comfort read.
@laj – is that in the second Berdoll book with Darcy? I’ve read both but can’t remember. I also read the first when it was The Bar Sinister & had to replace it with the newer title as I read it so much pages were coming loose…
I had the same issue as Dora with Escorted and the obliviousness/pen name thing. I’m currently rereading the Wallflower series & agree with all of the positive comments about Kleypas. When He Was a Wicked is also my favourite Julia Quinn for this.
Sarah Mayberry has some good sex scenes and I also loved the Shannon Stacey short Mistletoe & Margaritas; not just for the sex, I loved the couple and the hero. I hasn’t really clicked with her writing before but that story fully hits my buttons.
I’m joining the Cruise bandwagon for the bad sex in Faking It and the lamp throwing in Welcome to Temptation. I also truly enjoyed Phin going down on Sophie on the dock in Welcome to Temptation. Showed excellent character in Phin that he wouldn’t take advantage of her since she was drunk and that both men thought she didn’t have sex while she did. Spoke volumes about men vs. women and their thoughts on sex. Very Clinton-esque.
Agreed that Dahl writes excellent sex scenes, but I did not like the minor butt probing in So Tough To Tame that Walker did to Charlie. How does being a “bad girl” equal having a man stick his thumb in your butt and the smell and please don’t touch anything else with that thumb until you wash it.
One of my favorite “sex” scenes wasn’t and it probably has to do with something of it being one of the first romantic scenes I read. In “Crocodile on the Sandbank” when Peabody and Emerson are trapped in the cave, he kisses her after declaring, “By God I will do it!” (or something like that) “where upon he kissed me full on the mouth” – that was the whole scene. Then he went out to attack the person shooting at them. It was so much fun!!
There was also a series of stories, novella length, where the women would taste chocolate when kissing the dudes, who were from another planet. Unfortunately, this is turning into a HABO as I can’t remember the author or titles and I think I borrowed them instead of bought them.
I want to read the book where the heroine farts during sex if you find it. The characters in romance books are always so perfect in the bedroom. We used to have a cat that would come in the bedroom and rub all over my husband during the act. Had to stop more than once from laughing so hard. This is what I would like to see once in awhile. People that are real. I also hate sex scenes that you know are in there for no good reason. It’s like the author realizes she’s written another 50 pages so better throw in another one. Means absolutely nothing.
As Faellie posted above, the farting heroine is in Princess Daisy by Judith Krantz.
Not just a single, discrete fart, but a SERIES of them! LOL.
“Daisy farted, in a tiny series of absolutely irrepressible little pops …”
Thanks, Jessie, will have to look for that one! HA!
Heather S, I’m about 120 pages into Faith and Fidelity, and I LOVE it. Both men seem so real, and the physicality is hot – not to mention the whole navigating sexuality and sex is really, really nicely done.
And there’s MOAR? Yay! You have just made my day. 🙂
@ maybeimamazed02: YES! There’s MOAR! F&F is the first book in her “Faith, Love, and Devotion” series. The next book is “Love & Loyalty” (which includes Matt and Evan just a wee bit, so you can skip it if you want), then “Duty & Devotion” (which is ALL Matt and Evan), and there’s also a novella called “Cherish”. I’d love to talk them over with you! Please shoot me an email at tougakiryuugroupie (at) yahoo dot com if you want to fangirl over this series and exchange more book recs!
Has there been a discussion as to why we like man on man sex scenes in our romance novels? It kind of cracks me up that women together is so much a part of the porn experience, but not so much in romance! And I’ve read a lot of erotic romance. I told some non-romance reading friends that there is a lot of three (or more) way sex, but it’s almost always two men and one woman. And a lot of those scenes may involve the men getting busy with one another. Thoughts?
@Nancy: I know we’ve discussed m/m romance recs a few times in the past, but I don’t recall there ever being a post where we discussed *why* m/m romance is so appealing. I agree. SB Sarah, you should do a special feature discussing this! I know “RT Book Reviews” did an article a year and some change ago about m/m romance and why we read it.
I also read Escorted because of this post and .. well, I loved the “Claire Kent” bit because from the very first description of the hero I was squeeing “That’s Lex! This is Smallville hooker fic! Clarke (Claire!) Kent isn’t a journalist, he’s a romance novelist!”
I had issues with several things in the book, but the sex was exactly what I want it to be in a book like this and thought that the initial clinical edge was hotter and more realistic than the more romantic stuff.
Hmmm, I smoothed over my issues with the book by mentally re-writing it as Clark/Lex fanfic. Nancy & Heather S are right about the appeal of m/m romances.
What, no one’s sharing the love for Evangeline Collins? I thought Seven Nights to Forever was perfect in every aspect from purple/peach passion cover to cover. The second book in the series Her Ladyships Companion also all over awesome.
@Nancy @Heather S: I can’t speak for anyone else, but I like a bit of escapism in my romance books. That’s why I prefer historicals (or even SFFs) over contemporaries, and m/m over f/f. I guess I want experiences more outside of my norm, if that makes sense.
I actually DO like f/f as well as m/m, but I can’t seem to find many. WRT f/f sex scenes, there’s a really hot one in Blue Angel, the first of Logan Belle’s burlesque-themed trilogy. The sexuality aspects are a bit problematic (I think that was discussed on SBTB about a year ago, actually), but there’s one scene that, uh, pushes my buttons.
Sherry Thomas. Private Arrangements. Enough said.
Well, not really. Seriously, each sex scene in that book was perfectly placed and so tightly bound to the story arc. The sex truly was part of the love story, each encounter reflecting the current state of the relationship. Seriously. So good.
The first sex scene (not the oral one) in “Exposed to You” by Beth Kery has stuck with me since I read it. He practices tantric sex which is sort of a confusing form of increased pleasure via non-sexual things and sexual things to heighten awareness. Basically they fool around and once he ‘penetrates’ (in this case), he proceeds to do absolutely nothing but talk to her while she sobs in pleasurable agony. The gist follows her fear of intimacy and him wanting to experience intimacy with her. It’s a hot, sexy scene and for me, the highlight of the whole book.
Elizabeth Hoyt! I love that her characters stay in character for the sex scenes, and that each sex scene advances the character development and plot. (I hate it when a sex scene is just plunked down in the middle of the narrative.) Also, Hoyt is not afraid to write a scene where the sex goes badly if it serves the plot. The wedding night scene in “To Seduce a Sinner” is a great example – both parties are aware that the sex is craptastic, but they are both too new to the relationship to actually communicate. Happily the heroine gets up her courage and takes the initiative and the next time they have sex it is amazing.
“James writes some great books about intimacy within marriage”
I was trying to explain to someone why I liked most of James’ books so much, and couldn’t articulate why. This is EXACTLY why! She does this so well, better than almost any other romance writer. Thank you!!! (I think she also writes female friendship quite well, btw).
However, I couldn’t disagree more on that Berdoll book. I hate that thing with the white-hot intensity of 1000 burning suns. 😉