Ah am Zee Bucket!  Ah Fix Zee Dresses!

'Allo! Did you miss me? Ah am Zee Bucket! Ah am back for another question for you, based on mah hard work. 

What, you did not know Ah work? Ah work, yous guyses. Ah work hard. Ah work on zee dresses, and on zee green and on zeh blue, but Ah do NOT work on Zee Crap from mah second cousin once removed but not quite removed enough, MS PAINT.

Ah will tell you, family reunions are not zee fun with the duels between mahself and MS PAINT. She eez… still sloppy.

But me? Zat song by zee Britney about how you better work, bitch?

Zee song, she is about me. 


See? Ah am POISED FOR ZEE WORKING. All the time!

Ah hang out in zee Photoshop sidebar all tranquil and nice alongside the ruckus with zee Dodge and zee Burn, and let me tell yous, zhose two, they are, well, Ah cannot say. Hahnnyway.

Ah work very hard, perpetually ready to pour zee color on zee books to make zhem into different books but zee same in zee strange ways, oui? OUI, DAMMIT. 

No one appreciates mah work, youse knows. 


But Sandra L, ooh, zee Sandra, she eez the lady of zee refined taste and appreciations, because SHE has found and appreciated mah labors of zee love. 

Shall we look? OF COURSE WE SHALL LOOK. Do you think Ah got dressed for nozhing?!


Zut alors! Zee Covers! 

 Book An inconvenient duchess: a woman in a bright pink dress with a green sash seated at a piano - with a man lifting the drape of her sash - both in period costume


Ah, we have zee dress, zee sash, zee strange corset-thing in zee back, and zee cover! 

Ah am not inconvenient, however. AH AM VERY CONVENIENT. Do youse know why?!


Book Kidnapped the innocent mistress - same photo only the dress is a different red and the sash is dark burgundy


If youse do not like zee sash, Ah change zee sash! And zee lapel!  

You do not like zee green? Mais oui, we fix zee green. Burgundy! A hot color of zee season, Ah have been told. 

Ah can change All Zee Things you wish!

Because Ah am zee bucket. 

However, Ah am sorry, Sally, but this is beyond mah ability to make zee change:

 Book A large tilted photo of a dude and the woman in front is smaller facing him looking over her shoulder and really the perfet position to be an outsized belt buckle.


Ah cannot fix his belt buckle. His belt buckle, she must remain blue. And also a person. Zat iz beyond zee bucket.

Mwah to you, Mme. Sandra and Mme. Sally. Until next time! 

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    msbirdie says:

    anyone else see Jeremy Northam as the coat changing duke?

  2. 2
    Miranda says:

    Buckets aside, on cover #2, you need to squint hard to see the colon, because otherwise, Nicola Cornick looks like a felon. Give that Innocent Mistress back, Nicola!

  3. 3
    Tamara Hogan says:

    on cover #2, you need to squint hard to see the colon

    /Slow blink/ I obviously need to shift out of Crohn’s Disease mode and into writing mode. Someone send caffeine.

  4. 4
    MissB2U says:

    @Tamara – IBD brain strikes again!  And yes, that is totally Jeremy Northam.  Soooo handsome.  What is it with all those British actors who have wonderful voices to go with their dashing good looks???  Perhaps we here in the Colonies are missing something…

  5. 5
    Emily A. says:

    Is it just me or does her dress look orange in the second cover? In the first one it looks pink and in the second it looks orange. Is that only cause they changed the sash?

    @Miranda Your colon humor made me chuckle!

  6. 6
    Dread Pirate Rachel says:

    Jeremy Northam… Yaaaaaaassssss! He’s clearly in his Knightley persona here (with an Emma who is presumably better cast than Gwyneth Paltrow). Has he ever not been delicious?

  7. 7
    LaineyT says:

    Not only did she go “from destitute to duchess in a day” but apparently she also went from brunette to blond with a click of a mouse! ;)

  8. 8
    hapax says:

    Silly me, it never even occurred to me to color-coordinate my sash with my gentleman escort’s lapels; I was usually more interested in checking that it didn’t clash horribly with my gown.

    No doubt that’s why I never became the Innocent Mistress of an Inconvenient Duke.

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