The poses and positions of models on romance novel covers shift regularly. Sometimes they are headless, or they've got their jaws and noses but nothing above the cheekbones. Sometimes they're looking right at you – or, in some memorable cases, beckoning you to pull their finger:
It's never too early for the Pull My Finger Viking, right? Of course.
Lately, the cover models have shifted so that you can see their faces, but they're looking away from you. Well, their faces are.
Their nipples are another story.
The nipples on romance covers are busy.
Sometimes, they dot the I in the author's name:
Perfection in nipple alignment is a sight to behold.
Sometimes in the nipples are… well, I'm not sure what the nipple is doing in this photograph, but that young lady sure wants to show it to us:
Peekaboo! I see you, nipple! Is she about to try to breastfeed? I don't think that's going to get her anywhere.
Nipples sometimes act as security, like in this cover:
That image was sent to me by Lydia, who wrote, “It's like he's some kind of alien being. From the Planet OhJesusGodWhattheFuck. Also, his nipple is giving me the hairy eyeball.”
He's got his eye…and his nipple right on you.
I love a LOT about this cover. The hair, the chest hair, the occluded background, the shirt, the carriage – it evokes the time period and it is all kinds of sexy.
But his nipple is pointed directly at me. Sentient nipples watch you from the gloom!
I think the nipples are on to me, though:
NO NIPPLES FOR YOU!
Ok, I'm sorry. I won't tease you all about your sentient, unblinking nipples that watch me. You can put your arms down now. I promise I'll stop.