Romance Novel Reader Workout VIII

burly bicep holding stack of booksTime for another romance reader workout! You ready? 

Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!

Standard disclaimers still apply: dude, I'm still not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen.

However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you. Especially the books. 

And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part VIII, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!

You know what to do: grab your book & play along! Time to get all booky and sweaty. When the following things happen, do the corresponding exercise. Then, when you finish the chapter, do that activity again.</p>
<p>His shirt is ripped open: 				     25 lunges<br />
Buttons bounce, fly or make a sound:       25 situps</p>
<p>He rips or tears a piece of her clothing:   25 burpees</p>
<p>He tears her underwear:*				     25 donkey     										   kicks<br />
The book has Bonus Materials     and they’re not in the hero’s pants:     2 min. plank<br />
Someone’s hands are trembling:*		     25 deep squats</p>
<p>Orgasms cause temporary deafness:	     25 arm circles</p>
<p>Orgasms cause temporary blindness:	     25 tricep dips</p>
<p>Someone sinks into warmth and it’s      not a bathtub full of water:	     	     25 v-ups</p>
<p>*Special thanks to KatiD, Darlynne.

 

Expect your new workout to leave you a little breathless. More books should help with that problem.

If you have questions or suggestions for future workouts, please share, either in the comments or via email.

Remember, above all, unless you faint, puke, or die, KEEP READING! AND BREATHING! 

Thank you to BigStock for the booklifting image!
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General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Tam B. says:

    I would LOVE LOVE it if we had a designated “work out” read that features practically all of the actions and we had the authors permission to edit it for the work out. 

    So I could be reading “… She nibbled her lip (25 whatever it is) and he ripped off her shirt (next exercise) and it goes on.

    I’d get fit and not get so carried away in a story that I’d forget to check the exercise lists.

  2. 2
    Shawny J says:

    I still think there needs to be an exercise for implausible female underwear. A lacy bra and thong even though she’s just spent the last two days in uniform fighting forest fires perhaps?

  3. 3
    Helen R-S says:

    The “Bonus materials” one made me laugh. Fortunately I wasn’t eating/drinking anything at the time :-)

  4. 4
    shuzluva says:

    I need to make a poster of all of the workouts. Just the belly laughs alone have got to be burning calories!

  5. 5
    Darlynne says:

    @Tam B: I’m not sure any of us would survive a book with all those actions, although a fair number of them seem to strive unintentionally to do just that.

    Maybe the bitchery should write its own workout book/novel, replete with the requisite cliches. It should be printed in pink, too.

    Captcha: Year44. Surely it wouldn’t take us that long.

  6. 6
    Black Dragon Mama says:

    Hahaha!!!! How about a workout for every time the woman’s “breasts swell”.  Whenever I read that I think, “Oh honey, did your milk come in?”  ‘Cause that’s the only time I have experienced swelling in the bosom area.

  7. 7
    Rue says:

    Can we do one for after the smexing please!
    You know like the “Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin speech!?!” and then my favorite the “I’ll get you a wet clothe to wipe away the blood speech”. Please, just please. if the heroine is shy and innocent, wouldn’t she just burst into flames at the embarrassment?

    Also, I’ve read more than a few scenes where orgasms cause Blackouts. i always feel that they should include the names, numbers and addresses of these guys/gals, so readers can have pilgrimages to the patron Saint of ReallyGoodFucking.

    And I’m not sure I get the Bonus Material thing. I can haz explanation, plz!

  8. 8
    Jen S. says:

    Another suggestion for future workouts:

    Anytime the heroine “loved every minute of it”.

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