Romance Novel Reader Workout VI

Brawny arm with a stack of booksTime for Romance Novel Workout VI! So grab your nearest romance and get ready to read, work out, build muscle, and possibly scream obscenities.

Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!

Standard disclaimers still apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.

And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part VI, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!

Time for more romance novel sex scene cliches. When the following things happen, do the corresponding exercise. Then, when you finish the chapter, do that activity again.</p>
<p>He’s going to make her scream his name.You know this because he says so:*           20 jump squats<br />
The hero and heroine “become one”:*     25 skaters</p>
<p>They don’t know where he ended and 	she began (no glue involved):*           20 leg lifts</p>
<p>A womb clenches & it’s not menstrual:*   20 v-ups</p>
<p>Any mention of “hilt”: 		 		     25 crunches<br />
He plans to “bury himself”:			     25 pushups</p>
<p>All she needs to orgasm is his telling her	to do so...for him:*		     		     25 burpees</p>
<p>Someone makes a “strangled cry”:*	     25 tricep dips</p>
<p>His voice is only described as “raspy”:	     1 min 										high knees</p>
<p>*Special thanks to Frannie, Kecia, Shal & CHN.

 

Expect your new workout to leave you a little breathless. Do this one as many times as you'd like, and watch for a new one very soon. If you have questions or suggestions for future workouts, please share, either in the comments or via email. And if you have pics of yourself doing the workouts, please share them with me. PLEASE. 

Remember, above all, unless you faint, puke, or die, KEEP READING! AND BREATHING! 

Thank you to BigStock for the booklifting image!
Categorized:

Fun And Games

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  1. 1
    Andromaha82 says:

    WOW, I have a 10/10 with the book I am reading…I will be sore all over tomorrow! :)

  2. 2
    Beccah W. says:

    Oh my, the clenching wombs! Every time I read that, I imagine labor pains and it is more than a little distracting. Not very sexy!

    Though I will say, it is SUPER sexy to me when the hero says to come. A little male dominance is good by me – in the bedroom at least. Though for once I think it’d be funny if the heroine just sat up and said “I’m trying to, you idiot!”

  3. 3
    Ashley L. says:

    I do wish sometimes that when the hero says “Come for me” that the heroine would go, “You know, it’s not that easy.”

  4. 4
    StarlightArcher says:

    I have NEVER understood how someone (male or female) could orgasm simply by being told to do so! Maybe I’m just really bad at sex, but as far as I can tell it just doesn’t work like that. If I could do it on command, what the hell would I need a partner for?

  5. 5
    BacknGrooveMom says:

    personally, I am always impressed by the ability to orgasm and be ‘hard’ right away over and over

  6. 6

    To whom in the great duchy of Romancelandia do I appeal to banish the word “womb” forthwith from any and all sexy encounters? Is there a Minister of Cringing? Perhaps a Secretary of That Word Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means?

    On a more pertinent note—OUCH you are a sadistic lady, Sarah.  My butt thanks you!

  7. 7
    Lenorej says:

    The only thing I ever clench is my teeth when I try to come on command.  However, thanks to Sarah, I can almost do burpees!

  8. 8
    Kahea says:

    Best.  Idea.  EVER.

  9. 9
    Jan says:

    If the words sate/sated/satiated or any such derivatives appear, bang your head on th enearest hard object 5 times.

  10. 10
    Joane says:

    Yeah you are right I ‘ve always wondered if that was even possible from a physical point of view

  11. 11
    Gemma says:

    For your next workout…. how about any time the hero’s penis brushes up against (or, god forbid, rams up against) the heroine’s cervix.

    Then add a punishing workout…. if a couple of lines later he shifts his position and his cock goes deeper still into her vagina.

    I just wince.

  12. 12
    ksattler says:

    What I want to see is a picture of Sarah doing one of the work outs including the cover of the book she’s reading…

  13. 13
    Shawny Jean says:

    Is it just me or are these workouts getting tougher?

    Any sensation that starts in one’s nipples and “zings” (or some other word that implies fast moving current-like sensation) to a womb or extremities.
    Any use of the word “boneless” to describe the post-orgasm haze.
    Any heroine who, post-sex, curls up to cuddle “like a kitten”

  14. 14
    Shal says:

    Post-coital: someone thinking it has never been that good
    During orgasm- she was flung off the edge of the world & into the universe where she lay among the stars…or something close to that
    Was shocked by the way her untutored body was responding to his touch

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