Caption That Cover: Jessica Blair Edition

So many of you have forwarded me the articles regarding author Jessica Blair, who is really an 89 year old gentleman named Bill Spence

The grandfather from Ampleforth, North Yorkshire, was told his books would need to be printed under a feminine moniker if he wanted them to sell – and so his pseudonym Jessica Blair was born.

Bill, 89, has so far written 22 romance novels under the female pen name since his first was published in 1993, with his latest, Silence of the Snow, due out this week.

I love how happy he is, and cheers to him on his success. This guy looks charming and I bet he'd be rolling fun to have a beer with. 

But as CC pointed out, when she forwarded me the link to the story, have a look at his upcoming book:

      Book Silence of the Snow - a woman with a 40's hairstyle, with her arms folded in a rather hostile fashion, glaring at the reader.

To quote CC, “What on earth is she thinking in that picture?! I'm thinking she's thinking, 'Whatevs, Can we just get this over with?'

I think we need to caption her. What do you think? OF COURSE, WE DO. 

Bring your best saucy creativity and caption that cover – and for extra ?! have a look at the summary copy, which is completely confusing. 

Leave your caption in the comments below. I'll pick the winners on Friday 22 February. Feel free to use the “like” button to try to sway my selection. 

The winner will receive a $25 gift card to the bookstore of his or her choice, and the people's ovation and fame forever. Standard disclaimers apply: I'm not being compensated for this giveaway, except for the the slight case of hair envy I harbor now that I've seen that hairstyle. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents were permissable by applicable law. Must be over 18 and wearing corduroy to win. Everyone must love corduroy. The sound it makes was the inspiration for dubstep.

So, what's she thinking? Share! Caption that cover! 


General Bitching...

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    wingednike says:

    Your “Let’s do it for our country” line won’t work on me this time

  2. 2
    MissB2U says:

    “Ok grandpa, I posed for your book cover.  Can we talk about my new car now?”

  3. 3
    Rij says:

    You call that a penis?


  4. 4
    Tam B. says:

    “And they want $26.52 for the kindle edition?  Puhleeze.”

  5. 5
    Liz H says:

    It’s now $19.04 for the kindle edition. Slightly better, but it’s still ridiculous.

    Ms. Cover Lady is SO not impressed by the by the price drop.

  6. 6
    TaraR says:

    “My face—It does not give a crap. “

  7. 7
    Jane Lovering says:

    “Right, I’ve got the snow, now can I have some silence?  Seriously, shut up already!”

  8. 8
    Mirandaflynn says:

    There’s snow on the field and green grass in the foreground, I have my sleeves rolled up, and there’s pink writing in the sky. Seriously? Cover Artist, please.


  9. 9
    Sarah W says:

    “You call that a Mighty Wang?  Seriously?”

  10. 10
    Cee Marsden says:

    “A Time Agent. Riiiight.”

  11. 11

    “Everybody around me doesn’t know anything, and my cafe latte mochiato with a touch of cinnamon and nutmeg is late! NEED IT NOW!”

  12. 12
    Shawny Jean says:

    “A corduroy skirt and a green cardigan? Seriously grampa, no one’s going to buy this book if you don’t at least find me some fuschia or a fichu.”

  13. 13
    JoanneF says:

    As if I’d ever let you anywhere near my perky, rose-tipped breasts!  Get real!

  14. 14
    Mirandaflynn says:

    Did you expect me to actually understand that summary copy?

  15. 15

    No you don’t look better in that dress than I do. Now give it back Grandpa.

  16. 16
    Arloa says:

    I know we’re out here in the snow, and things … shrink in the cold. But, really?

  17. 17
    Nan says:

    You want me to have sex in this book???!! I don’t think so.

  18. 18
    Beccah W. says:

    Nancy Drew and the mystery of the shrinking penis. Can she find it in all this snow?

  19. 19
    AnimeJune says:

    “Silence – because speaking is Too Mainstream.”

  20. 20
    AnimeJune says:

    “Well *I* was as silent as the snow BEFORE it was cool.”

  21. 21
    AnimeJune says:

    “I’m going to need to check your credit rating, tax records, and family history before I agree to release these puppies from their green cashmere cage.”

  22. 22
    Darlynne says:

    Elise has joined the RAF and gone to France to search for her mother’s left hand. Carrying only a creepy picture of the eternally-pissed-off and one-handed Veronica, Elise hopes to confront an old family friend and learn the truth In the Silence of the Snow.

  23. 23
    samalamadingdong says:

    “I don’t know, you guys. You really think I should tuck my sweater into my skirt?”

  24. 24
    Jennifer says:

    “No one “gets” my Bomb Girls* cosplay…”

          *This one’s for you Canadians!

  25. 25
    SB Sarah says:

    I’m doomed picking a winner for this one. And I love this cover. She looks like she just completed the neck swivel to end all neck swivels.

  26. 26
    GhengisMom says:

    “Are seriously expecting me to pay $19 for this Kindle edition?!”

  27. 27
    Michelle C. says:

    Did you take your meds today? I’m thinking specifically of that little blue pill.

  28. 28
    Julie B says:

    Fresh off her gold medal performance at the 2012 London Olympics, McKayla Maroney embarked upon her career as a romance novel cover model.

  29. 29
    Vandy Jones says:

    As if!  I’d say talk to the hand, but we both know that won’t work.

  30. 30
    DavidalBarron says:

    Concealed behind her sniper’s apathy, the images of that Stalingrad winter played over and over. Now one more man is in the crosshairs…of her heart.

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