Caption That Cover: Cliffhanger Edition

Lauren sent me this cover. I feel like I owe her a puppy or something. LOOK. It's got purple mountain's majesty and everything: 

 

Book Cover

 

You know there is only ONE THING we can do with a cover that… pointed. Caption it! You've got 48 hours to caption that cover in the comments below. I'll pick the winner but you can try to sway my vote by liking the captions you enjoy most. The winner will receive a $25 giftcard to the bookstore of his or her choice. 

I hope the winner buys books on moutain climbing. 

Standard disclaimers apply: I'm not being compensated by this giveaway (except for the ab workout from laughing so hard). Void where prohibited. Must be over 18 years of age and wearing crampons. Open to international residents. No matter what anyone says, don't pull his finger or grab his rope. Swing low, sweet chariot. 

Ready, set… CLIMB! 

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General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Tina says:

    It was a land of magic and wonder.  It was a land where giants roamed the earth – and occasionally had very public, outdoor sex.  It was a land where family outings often led to awkward explanations to the children. Checkmate.

  2. 2
    Fran S. says:

    Ben, a professional chess player, thought he’d made a romantic deal, the deal of a lifetime—his girlfriend Lisa’s old cow for magic beans! But after she dumped them (and him) unceremoniously in the backyard he could only hope for the best.  Just before she checked out of his garden (and his life), a giant beanstalk arose from the hydrangeas.  The former lovers gained entrance to a magical land filled with marvelous mountains, golden poultry, even—lusty giants?!!?  Now they have to make their way through a maze of gargantuan, gyrating bodies to find the stalk, rekindling their love along the way.  When they reach the ground once more will Ben be able to cry Checkmate….over her heart? 

  3. 3
    Anony Miss says:

    Mount Never-rest.

  4. 4

    It was a bit disconcerting when the bondage elves exploded out of her thong, but Tristan soon took the hint and became a very happy camper.

  5. 5
    Gail Leinweber says:

    He would climb mountains to win her, then go down to keep her.

  6. 6
    Beccah W. says:

    He’d waited a lifetime to mount her Crested Butte. Now that the time was right, he found himself facing a new problem…granny panties!

  7. 7
    Christina says:

    Going over the cliff: What does it mean?

  8. 8
    Arloa says:

    She was so young and her breasts were so firm—those mountain climbing dreams he’d been having were ridiculous, but they really were the most spectacular mounds he’d anticipated cresting.

  9. 9
    Sue (Mari) Laing says:

    To attain her Summit he must aim high…

    now if only the Sherpas would stop suggesting gambits and pass him the crampons – he would take her to the heights

  10. 10
    Sarah M. Anderson says:

    As it turned out, the unusual choice of knickers was the least of Ted’s worries.

  11. 11
    cayenne says:

    Adventures in extreme Shibari…

  12. 12
    Alyssa Cole says:

    She thought her guide’s request to explore pubis mons was a result of their language barrier, given their close proximity to the unfortunately named Mount Pubis, but Kristen quickly learned that she had agreed to an entirely unplanned for excursion.

  13. 13
    Lori S says:

    If you climb it, it will come.

  14. 14
    Vandy Jones says:

    Marianne was a dedicated climber until she met Tristan.  He showed her a whole new sort of climbing and it was oh so good.

  15. 15
    Ren says:

    Can’t caption. Too busy laughing that someone thought it was a good idea to place something rock hard and jutting in that particular orientation with “her” crotch.

  16. 16
    Lyra Archer says:

    Climbing accidents happen. Thank goodness she’d been prepared! They could live off the supply of trail mix stashed in her navel until help arrived.

    Aside: Come on, you just know he’s thinking “Sweet, found an M&M!”

  17. 17
    Fullybooked says:

    Sebastion didn’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill but he had never needed so much protection before.

  18. 18
    Rlane37 says:

    After months of dedicated seduction, max finally got her pants off only to find her rock hard member jutting from her groin. “Holy shit,” he thought. “She’s a transvestite! Now what do I do?”

  19. 19
    KM says:

    Signs you may need to work on your tuck game, no. 263: the Borrowers use it for purchase

  20. 20
    Jessiecalee91 says:

    This book is a screaming good read, thrilling and satisfying, or is it, with the mind numbing question “Does she reach the peak?!” being the only question tantalizing your inner thoughts ….the ultimate cliff hanger.

  21. 21
    CHH says:

    Going over the frisky cliff . . .

    TBH, at first glance I thought the climbers were pirates hanging off the bow of a ship. 

  22. 22
    Lady T says:

    Make room for the Lilliputians of Love!

  23. 23
    Lostshadows says:

    If you loved The Crying Game and Cliffhanger, we have the perfect romance for you!

  24. 24
    jenniferk66 says:

    Not an entry, but you KNOW the artiste thought the fact that the mountain climbers fit perfectly around the dude’s chest and Adam’s apple made it EPIC.

  25. 25
    Carol says:

    Gulliver needed his privacy but the little people would not rest till their man came back.

  26. 26
    Kasey says:

    The tiny elfish oncologists were the only ones qualified to treat her suspicious mole.

  27. 27
    Deb G. says:

    What do you get for the outdoor enthusiast who has everything?

    Sexy black panties? Check.
    A Brazilian wax? Check.
    A strap-on dildo with miniature rock climbers on it? Checkmate.

  28. 28
    laj says:

    10 things you didn’t know about hermaphrodites. A hard rock love story for the ages.

  29. 29
    Kirok_enterprises says:

    The missing chapters from Lord of The Rings – how Frodo and Sam really made it to Mount Doom.

  30. 30
    StarOpal says:

    “Have you ever seen The Crying Game?” She whispered huskily.

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