Covers That Make You Go, “Hey! That Looks Like…”

There have been a number of prominent cover models who are so famous within or even outside of the romance reading community that they're instantly recognizable. I can spot Ewa da Cruz from ten paces at this point, and Jed Hill's abdominals are also quite recognizable as well. 

I recently came across some older category romances, and I've been playing, “Wait, that looks like…” for a few days now. Come tell me who you think these folks look like, please?

Tears of a Renegade by Linda Howard - Bearded Dude caressing some woman in a shrubbery

Seriously, you guys, it's driving me crazy. Who is that guy? Is that Stone Phillips? No, Brian Williams? A perfect meld of Sean Connery and George Clooney? It's making me a little nuts. I keep staring at the cover with this expression of “Durrrrrrr” on my face, and it has NOTHING to do with the fact that he's groping some woman in a shrubbery while she dries his shoulder with a towel. 

 

Bargain with the Devil by Jayne Castle - there is some HOT HAWAIIAN SHIRT ACTION on the heroine, and he's grabbing her muffin top.

 

Chest hair! Grey forelock! A variation on the shirt-unbuttoned-but-still-tucked-in: now available in DENIM! The midriff bearing Hawaiian shirt action is fascinating, as is the part where she's thrust her hand into some spindly potted plant (“Does this need water?”). 

But the real mystery, aside from WHY IS HE EATING HER FACE?! is… who does she look like? He looks like a guy in great gastrointestinal distress (I don't think human flesh is good for that, but what do I know?) but she looks like… someone. Nicole Eggert from Charles in Charge?

Right of Possession by Jayne Castle - he's grabbing her from behind in the jungle, and... her skirt is pulled up to her ribcage.

 

Every last thing about this cover is disconcerting. Where is her right breast hiding? Why are her pants pulled up to her ribcage? How is her hair so perfect in the jungle? Why does he look so bored?

And why does he look eerily like THE HOFF?! (You're seeing it, too, right, the wisps of Hoffness on his face? I mean, it looks like it was Photoshopped on, but sometimes, so does The Hoff's.)

Now, I don't think the folks on this cover look like anyone in particular, but I had to share with you anyway: 

 

Ghost of a Chance by Jayne Ann Krentz - purple crewneck on the hillside, and she's being lifted into the air. It's bizarre.

 

Grandad Goes Wild!

Check that lavender crewneck. You know how all these ladies are buying grey ties for their husbands after reading that book? Yeah, to hell with that. Lavender crewneck sweaters are The Hotness now. Act now while supplies last! 

I love the look on the face of the lady coming out of the rocks: 'Excuse me, Charles, but I –  AGAIN? You have to do this NOW? On the rocks? In your new sweater? I… I can't even.'

By posting a comment, you consent to have your personally identifiable information collected and used in accordance with our privacy policy.

↑ Back to Top