Laurie F. sent me this poster, which she found via Facebook, and said it reminded her of Caption That Cover. I SHOULD SAY SO. Since it's the last few days of the Olympics (*sniffle*) I thought, why not a Caption That Cover for an Olympic poster?
I mean, come on. Have a look at this:
Posters of dudes just don't get any better than that. Unless you're an Olympic rower in spandex, in which case you are all of the awesome.
The 1912 Stockholm games were also known as the Games of the V Olympiad. DUDE. The potential amazingness of a V Olympiad is unparalleled. Midwives vs. Obstetricians? Formula vs. Breastmilk? Rush Limbaugh vs. All The Women? Anyway.
Here's a bit of interesting trivia via Wikipedia that has nothing to do with captioning Sir Ropes of Crotch up there:
Kanakuri Shizō, a Japanese marathon runner went missing during the race. He stopped at a party taking place in a villa on the marathon route in order to quench his thirst, before catching a train to Stockholm and left the country the next day. He returned to Japan without notifying race officials. He completed the race 50 years later after being invited back by the Swedish authorities with a (unofficial) time of 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds.
So, let's celebrate the Olympics, the spirit of international competition, and whatever the hell goes on with men's crotches during the Olympics and caption that cover poster! The winning caption as determined by a judging panel of me will receive a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of his or her choosing. Feel free to like your favorite caption and try to sway my affections.
You've got 24 hours to come up with the best caption for the image above. Void where prohibited. Not to be used in conjunction with any cold medicine. Must be over 18 and wearing yellow running shoes to win. Official time to be confirmed by some watchmaker.
Ready, take your mark, and GO caption that poster! Many thanks to Laurie for emailing me the image!
It’s time again for “Sing Along With Lars!” Just follow the bouncing balls!
“Round his cock……….
He wore a yellow ribbon!
He wore if for his country
Which is far, far away…………
If you like it, put a medal on it! (Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oo-oh-oh.)
I promise you, I was just scrolling down to write THAT EXACT THING! #greatminds
In a landmark decision, the IOC Executive Board proposed that the obscure Swedish sport of Wankie Ribbon Waving be added to the Olympic Rhythmic Gymnastic program for the 2016 Games.
NBC is reportedly in negotiation for pay-per-view coverage of the event.
It’s not a cock, it’s tentacles—they may be flaccid, but they can sure tickle you in all the right places.
Two come (pardon the pun) to mind:
1. It wasn’t until after the 1912 Olympics that manufacturers of athletic supporters stopped making these crucial garments out of sateen ribbon, after which there was a significant drop in the number of male runners afflicted with so-called Stockholm Syndrome—and also, coincidentally, a drop in the number of spectators attending the track and field events at the Paris Olympics of 1914.
and
2. “I don’t know where you’ve been, laddie, but it seems you took first prize!”
TOP CROTCH MODEL WINS OLYMPIC EXPOSURE
They kept me behind the flag long enough, i started to think I was an Olympian.
“Sponsorship & product placement began early in the Olympiad history, the 1912 Olympics were proudly brought to you by Cthulu.”
My first thought was that there is a staggering lack of mantitty on that poster, flat nubbins galore!
Ron Weasley’s spellwork never got any better as he grew older, though his body certainly improved!
Thaddeus hated all the teasing he endured after he joined his high school’s naked drill team. Those jocks were just jealous. His mom assured him that he’d meet lots of nice girls at college and they would like him just the way he was, six foot long ribbon penis and all.
It is the competition where naked men fight the flags of the world! Come on down! Let’s play the Birthday Suit is Right!
I Sing the Body Electric – with thanks to Walt Whitman.
True piece of history: 1912 – King Gustav V of Sweden coins term “World’s Greatest Athlete” on winner of the dickathlon.
Once a drunken friend misspoke and said “dickathlon” instead of decathlon, Swedish graphic designer Stefan Rodger couldn’t get it out of his mind.
I’m riffing on your “dickathlon”—hope that’s okay 🙂
“Tie a yellow ribbon ‘round the old oak tree, it’s been four long years do you still want me…?”
The James Bond film Octopussy was actually a based on badly translated version of the Swedish folktale Quattuorpenis.
Oh yeah…how can you not – with that…thing? I’ve been channelling Beavis and Butthead while watching the Olympics ever since I saw “Tancock” compete. Don’t get me started on terms like “meet management”
Tinius Weinus proudly waves the flag after taking gold at the Ken Doll games.
Alas, when the competition rules were published, a tragic mimeograph incident conflated the rules of synchronized swimming, fencing and pentathlon; printing them as a new sport: Team Penis Twirl.
He’d never flown too close to the sun the way his famous grandfather had. He certainly hadn’t thought winning the gold in Pole Slinging would piss anybody off. But when his “family maker” burst into flames—during the medal ceremony—Dicarus learned the Sun God could seriously carry a grudge.
This is about the guy standing just behind the, um, talented ribbon guy—Sven thinks to himself, a bit jealously, “How in the world did Bjork get them to stay on there like that?”
So this is where Elizabeth Amber got her inspiration for the Lords of the Satyr and the Shimmerskins. It all makes sense to me now.
All the golden lads sans lasses,
Yellow ribbons tied to wood,
Did not fear to show their asses
Or show the world just where they stood,
Waved their flags with regal passes,
Competing fiercely in the nude:
Whether Stockholm or Parnassus,
Them good old days was really good!
International Peen!
All I can think of is “call me maybe” video when I saw the poster 🙂
http://sveta-randomblog.blogsp…
No, no. You’re supposed to imagine the *audience* is naked.
For any Babylon 5 fans:
Londo Mollari was highly diverted by this potential evidence of Centauri presence on Earth much earlier than documented.
As inspired by this article on ABC (Australian Broadcast):
http://www.abc.net.au/news/201…
Opening ceremony in numbers
Pieces of confetti dropped: 7,000,000,000
Garments used: 0
This commemorate poster depicts Jules Lundqvist. He was the last male Olympian to participate in Rythmic Gymnastics.
I’ve got a present for you and it’s not the flag.
Rhythmic gymnastics. Now showing, live on X Tube.
Wangcathalon
Anita Blake took a second long look at the poster and knew she would have to find a way to track down this former Olympian today.
Smell my armpit! I dare you!
One was into bondage, the other was into watching…could they find a way to make it work?
Pull my finger
I don’t know what sport he is playing but I’ll bet it was sold out.
You know you want to know if Alexander Skarsgård is hung like this…come on….you do.