Caption That Caption: Olympic Poster Edition!

Laurie F. sent me this poster, which she found via Facebook, and said it reminded her of Caption That Cover. I SHOULD SAY SO. Since it's the last few days of the Olympics (*sniffle*) I thought, why not a Caption That Cover for an Olympic poster? 

I mean, come on. Have a look at this: 

It's an art-deco style poster with this dude in gold and ... strings? worms? Something? coming out of his crotch.

Posters of dudes just don't get any better than that. Unless you're an Olympic rower in spandex, in which case you are all of the awesome

The 1912 Stockholm games were also known as the Games of the V Olympiad. DUDE. The potential amazingness of a V Olympiad is unparalleled. Midwives vs. Obstetricians? Formula vs. Breastmilk? Rush Limbaugh vs. All The Women? Anyway. 

Here's a bit of interesting trivia via Wikipedia that has nothing to do with captioning Sir Ropes of Crotch up there: 

Kanakuri Shizō, a Japanese marathon runner went missing during the race. He stopped at a party taking place in a villa on the marathon route in order to quench his thirst, before catching a train to Stockholm and left the country the next day. He returned to Japan without notifying race officials. He completed the race 50 years later after being invited back by the Swedish authorities with a (unofficial) time of 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds.

So, let's celebrate the Olympics, the spirit of international competition, and whatever the hell goes on with men's crotches during the Olympics and caption that cover poster! The winning caption as determined by a judging panel of me will receive a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of his or her choosing. Feel free to like your favorite caption and try to sway my affections. 

You've got 24 hours to come up with the best caption for the image above. Void where prohibited. Not to be used in conjunction with any cold medicine. Must be over 18 and wearing yellow running shoes to win. Official time to be confirmed by some watchmaker. 

Ready, take your mark, and GO caption that poster! Many thanks to Laurie for emailing me the image! 

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General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Lynn K says:

    Got a tape measure?

  2. 2
    Brycanthe says:

    In the early days of the Olympic Games, medals were not hung around your neck. This is the origin of the term “hung”

  3. 3

    Real Olympians do it naked!

  4. 4
    Sarah E. says:

    Rhythmic Gymnastics is THE sport to watch.

  5. 5
    Blake Leyers says:

    It’s the first Olympic mascot, “Fyrasnopp”! (In swedish, fyra means four and snopp is slang for penis)

  6. 6
    Sheri says:

    Come watch the Olympics from our NEW stadium!! Don’t forget those quizzing glasses ladies. And make sure to help those athletes apply that sunblock!! Liberally!!

  7. 7
    Tam B. says:

    Ladies, come to Stockholm.  View the brilliance of our men displaying their brilliance with “the ribbons”.  Later, learn (personally) how far this talent extends.

    V Olympics – It means we’re Very Very good.

  8. 8

    “Tie a yellow ribbon round the ole…”

  9. 9
    Beccah W. says:

    Man with the lack of a golden gun.

  10. 10
    Anony Miss says:

    Olympics 1912 Starting Gun Ceremony

  11. 11
    Anony Miss says:

    Aren’t you glad you use Dial? Don’t you wish everyone did?

  12. 12

    Is my deodorant working?

  13. 13
    BellaBetty says:

    Representing Sweden- Eric Northman.

  14. 14
    Sally says:

    (Waves wand)  Penisium Incendio

  15. 15
    colorlessblue says:

    I have no caption for that poster, but anyone reading about the rower should google image Nelson Evora.

  16. 16
    StarOpal says:

    When wizards get nervous, they make everybody naked.

    “Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh, O lad I don’t know where you been but I see you won first prize”

  17. 17
    Courttani says:

    “Men! Batons at the ready! And…GO!”

  18. 18
    Tina says:

    Though the crowd was awed by Olev’s tentacled testicles and the way he used them to such incredible affect during his rhythmic gymnastics routine, the Men’s Naked Rhythmic Gymnastic Freestyle event was not continued after the 1912 Stockholm Olympics.

  19. 19
    Brycanthe says:

    Not a caption, more of a distraction because I can’t stop staring at the poster.

    Is it just me or does that guy dress extremely far to the left? It could just be the way he’s standing, but the area that would be his “baton of love” *nudge, nudge, wink, wink, d’ya know what I mean?* seems way off centre.

  20. 20
    Christine says:

    The Opening Ceremonies at the Games of the V Olympiad in Stockholm, Sweden began with what many called the least auspicious beginning to the international sporting competition for several decades. The decision for the flag bearers of each country to wear their country’s flags as unsecured Roman togas was regretted instantly, as a combination of unseasonably high wind gusts and the wind-tunnel like design of the new Stockholm Olympic Stadium caused the first documented en-masse wardrobe malfunction. Naked flag bearers were forced to chase down their flags/modesty coverings with only decorative ribbons for assistance. Alas, this was not the first or last Olympics to feature ill-conceived team uniforms. 

  21. 21
    Kasey says:

    “He who smelt it, dealt it.

  22. 22
    colorlessblue says:

    That reminds me of a romance novel where a (innocent) girl made a sculpture of the guy she had a crush on wearing just a figleaf, and since she didn’t know much of how things were, got him the nickname of Figgy.

  23. 23
    Scrin says:

    “The archeologists found their suspicions confirmed, against all their maddened hopes. Early man had indeed been contacted by the Deep Ones. Was this garish piece of art not proof? A swirling miasma of riotous colors, which carried deeper meaning to the dark-seeing eyes, with a man standing before it, unclad and flaunting the tentacular appendages his twice-damned heritage had given him. They’d thought the writings of the Crafter of Love to be just fiction, idle fancies, but now they knew otherwise. One of them wept slow tears as he chanted, ‘From the sea all life came. To the sea all life returns. In the sea there are older things, and we are not welcome there.’ “

  24. 24
    Tamara Hogan says:

    Have you hung your medal on it yet?

  25. 25
    MissB2U says:

    “Parade of Atheltes Marred by Flags Waving at Half Staff”

  26. 26
    Darlynne says:

    In one of the more embarrassing translation errors that plagued the 1912 Olympic Games, renowned Swedish artist Hampus Dellenbrant erroneously interpreted the phrase “members twirl the ribbon through a series of flicks, throws and spirals” to refer to something other than members of the team. Men’s Rhythmic Gymnastics has never recovered.

  27. 27
    Christine says:

    Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër? See the løveli lakes, the majestik møøse, and the pretti bødies of men nøt marred by nasti møøse bites?

     

  28. 28
    CanuckLeanne says:

    Disoriented by his recent waxing, Lars once again found himself in the middle of the Women’s Rhythmic Gymnastics practise.  Drat, he had barely lived down the 1908 incident…

  29. 29
    Scrin says:

    Okay, that made me crack up.

  30. 30
    hapax says:

    After the 1912 Olympics, the governing committee decided to drop the final word of the previous Olympic motto: “Faster! Higher! Stronger! FABULOUS-ER!”

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