Caption That Cover: Subdivision Edition Winners!

Here. Gaze upon Comfort Cove again. Feel the mystery surround you. 

 

Really, you have to wonder, right? How did that happen – whether “that” is the basketball hoop, the cover art, or the decision in general is totally up to you. So let's crown the winners in the Caption That Cover: Subdivision Edition contest! Many of your comments fell into a few key categories. 

 

Honorable Mention for the following excellent categories goes to:

Freaky alternative plot descriptions! 

Arloa: Sure it looks idyllic in Comfort Cove, but that sun never sets. It always hovers just over the horizon, like a searchlight. Vampires aren't the only ones longing for darkness.

 

Graniagrace: A chill ran down Ted's spine, as he realized everything looked exactly as it did that terrible day he left, 10 years ago.

 

 

Melonie Johnson: Kevin turned the corner and stopped. His stepmother's usual signal could only mean one thing-Dad was away, and it was time to play. The ball was in his court.

R. Savage: Filbert, the third house on the block, was soon lamenting the fact that he had not thought to install anything to entice people to come closer. Harvey next door had that ball game thing-a-majig and was never hungry. Filbert hadn't had anything since that lone repairman the month before, and his basement was starting to rumble.

Next time he would have to listen to his father's advice on attracting people to eat.

 

Mis Led: The day the basketball hoop mysteriously sprouted up right in the middle of her driveway, Venus Davenport knew something had gone terribly wrong in Comfort Cove. Soon a badminton net was pushing up through the lawn of the Dentons' house next door — and across the street, a set of football goal posts thrust through the Badger family's front porch. It was just the beginning of the terrible Invasion of the Sports Equipment.
But when Venus meets the drop-dead gorgeous investigator from the Interplanetary Sporting Authority, Lance Meenow, she is smitten. With a build like that, how was she going to keep her eye on the balls . . . and avoid ending up with a sticky wicket?

 

Beckyroo: Sexually unfulfilled Cynthia thought that the name of the town sounded promising, so she moved there straight out of college. However, she was shocked and horrified to discover that all of the men in this suburb had plastic non-junk, a la Ken dolls, and that, alas, there would be no “comforting” of her “cove.”

 

Jessica R: Fortunately, when the Rapture came, the basketball teams were playing in the Skins vs. Skins Subdivision Championship.

 

Tribute Captions with excellent pop-culture references!

Cecily: You only moved the headstones!

ReneeK: Kevin finally discovered what people would do if he sang out of tune. Will Winnie ever forgive his block-party ending karaoke performance?

Karen F: Feminine appliance night goes horribly awry, when the Real Housewives of Comfort Cove discover what’s different about a Dyson.

Dyson Root Cyclone Technology.

It really sucks.

 

Even better tag lines for the book!

Ann Somerville: Comfort Cove. Where all the houses are the right height.

Maureen: A story especially tailored for those who have suffered severe mental trauma and cannot tolerate bold colors, unique houses, trees that provide shade, people, cars, pets or anything more taxing than pondering why someone would put a basketball hoop in the middle of their driveway.

VandyJ: Comfort Cove–you can come, but you'll never leave.

Vicki: They roam at night. By day, Comfort Cove is a ghost town, a huddle of tract homes lying silent and apparently abandoned. By night, they rise and Comfort Cove becomes….uncomfortable.

 

First runners up are:

AnonyMiss: Your request for a

CLINCH COVER
in the shade of
MAGENTA
has been
DENIED.

Sincerely,
Comfort Cove Civic Association
Standards Enforcement Committee

Gemma: A Son's Tale, or Why I Installed A Basketball Hoop Directly In Front of my Mom's Garage Door

 

And y'all I couldn't choose between these two, so we have co-winners for this round of caption fun:

ChristineR: 50 Shades of Beige

 

And

Andrea Mullarkey: The bored SAHMs of Comfort Cove had been dreaming of rapture but what they got instead was The Rapture.

 

Ladies, you each receive a $25 gift card to the bookstore of your choice! Please email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOOTYcom with your bookstore of choice and the email address for your gift card.

Thank you to everyone who participated, because that was one of the funniest comment threads ever. May all your coves be comfortable!