Links: Book Club Chat, Amazon Reviews, and Jim C Hines Rules The World With His Backside

First! A friendly reminder: the Sizzling Book Club Chat for Tamara Morgan's Love is a Battlefield is Thursday night at 9pm! Need a handy button to add that to your trusty calendar? Here you go:

I hope you'll join us! I'm trying to figure out if I can simultaneously host the chat at the SBTB Facebook page, too, so you may be able to hang out at Ye Olde Face Booke and join in from there. I have been on a serious contemporary romance kick lately, and I hope you enjoyed this book as much as I did.

Jim C. Hines rocks the cover model gig again – and it's as good as the last time.


His poses are in response to this amazing piece of image commentary from Emily Asher-Perrin, titled “Hey, Everyone. Stop Taking This Picture. No, I Mean It.”

Not to mention the Avengers Booty Ass-emble by Kevin Bolk.



Via Booklust: prepare to spend many hours of your time on Pride and Prejudice as a web series – it's brilliantly done. I'm sorry in advance.

Via Laura Hazard Owen on Twitter, a publishing executive speaks out anonymously on why he breaks DRM on ebooks that he purchases

I want to be clear about how I’ve been using these unlocked books. I’m not sharing them with anyone. They’re all just for my use. I’m not putting them on a torrent, or even sharing them with family or friends.

I believe this is justified because I realize that when I buy an e-book from Amazon, I’m really buying a license to that content, not the content itself. This is ridiculous, by the way. I feel as if e-book retailers are simply hiding behind that philosophy as a way to further support DRM and scare publishers away from considering a DRM-free world. I’m not going to say where I work, or anything about my company, but I will say that I don’t think DRM is good for the publisher, author or customer. Don’t pro-DRM publishers realize this is one of the key complaints from their customers? I’ve heard plenty of customers tell me that e-book prices need to be low because they’re only buying access to the content, not fully owning it. That needs to change. 

ETA: And speaking of executives and DRM, has announced that Tor/Forge ebooks will be DRM FREE

Tom Doherty Associates, publishers of Tor, Forge, Orb, Starscape, and Tor Teen, today announced that by early July 2012, their entire list of e-books will be available DRM-free.

“Our authors and readers have been asking for this for a long time,” said president and publisher Tom Doherty. “They’re a technically sophisticated bunch, and DRM is a constant annoyance to them. It prevents them from using legitimately-purchased e-books in perfectly legal ways, like moving them from one kind of e-reader to another.”

DRM-free titles from Tom Doherty Associates will be available from the same range of retailers that currently sell their e-books. In addition, the company expects to begin selling titles through retailers that sell only DRM-free books.


And speaking of ebooks and DRM, here's a few links to hilarious and hijinks on Amazon. 

First, via anonymous, a Facebook Group for giving/getting 5-star reviews on Amazon. You mean Amazon reviews are not genuine reader responses?! THE DEVIL YOU SAY. I also wouldn't call it the best move in all of PR to have a photo of yourself at the top of such a group, but what the hell do I know. I read Amazon reviews for the comedy!

Here are some samples – I hope they weren't from the give/get 5 group! 

Three Way by the Sea - were-dolphin pron!

Via RedHeadedGirl: Behold, Were-Dolphins! From Three Way by the Sea's description: Jerry is an oceanographer, insecure despite good looks and a successful career. Coming back to shore after a research expedition, he's nursing a new crush on intern Kyle and an old one on hunky Harbormaster Ron. But beneath the full moon, Ron and Kyle reveal their own secret. Will these frisky were-dolphins add Jerry to their perverse pod? Got that? Were-dolphins. The reviews are amazing: 

Five stars from Amber:

This book has touched my dorsal fins. I personally have witnessed many three ways on my days of traveling close to shore, but have never partaken in one. Next time, thanks to Jessica Vane and her amazing writing, I may have the courage to try. It was a sexy, captivating, and emotional read that will make your blowhole whistle with pleasure.

I can't believe the pod left Jerry behind though..If it was my pod, we would of welcomed him with open flippers. Please, write another!!

and my favorite review is a tie between “I really don't think the author knows how a human anus works – these weredolphins didn't really think things through” and “I can no longer remember my mother's embrace. Help. Please. Someone help. My life has been irrevocably altered by the purchase of this book. I exist to warn others now. Please. End my suffering.”

And then, in the spirit of “Least Helpful,” Nico sent this link to's page for Veet for men hair remover. The reviews are a GOLDMINE if you're an author looking for a euphemism for the male penis. For example: 

Do Not Put on Knob and Bollocks: Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS. (I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

Conkers! Having a name like a lion and also a big wafro to go with the moniker I've grown tired of the constant jibes about both the hair on my middle aged head and my private gentlemen's club.

My agent was quick to point out to me this product so I quickly rushed down to the local superdrug (used to be a kwik save) and I bought a tester bottle. I entered my lavish 2 bedroom semi's faux-european bathroom and set to work.

First of all I applied the sickly smelling gel and glossed my new forest of frizzy downstairs hair and was instantly gratified with a cooling sense of being under a waterfall from one of those wonderful bounty adverts.
This quickly turned to chemical weaponary when the gel had sunk right through my pubal region and started attacking my bare skin.

If I could describe to a discerning amazon reader what it felt like after application I would say, imagine being scalded by molten olive oil whilst having a zebra munch on your conkers.

Could there be a romance with “conker” or “knob” in the sex scene? Dolphins are totally optional! 



The Link-O-Lator

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Marirra says:

    Omg. Tears are streaming down my face. I desperately need to go to the bathroom and I can’t stop laughing. The amazon reviews are SO funny.

  2. 2
    MaddBookish says:

    On the upside, that facebook page makes it easier to know which authors to avoid.

  3. 3

    Jim Hines rules with his hiney…. that’s a header that just can’t be overlooked.  O.o

  4. 4
    Susan says:

    The Daily Mail had an article about the Veet reviews a week or so ago.  (I *had* to send it to my brother.)  I checked out the US site for comparison, and the UK reviews were way better.  I think some of them were even serious (real) reviews.

  5. 5
    Sierra says:

    Wow…I wonder if that FB group is breaking any of Amazon’s rules. It feels like that whole exchange process should be against something somewhere. Ugh.

    I do adore Jim Hines. I loved his books already, but those two blog posts have made me love him even more. He’s now on my auto-buy list. :D

  6. 6
    MissB2U says:

    Conkers and dolphins and Bennetts – oh, my!

  7. 7
    Bnbsrose says:

    I know I’ve seen knob.  I’ve seen it in an Emma Holly book. But conkers? Now there’s one that needs to be worked in somewhere.  Sounds like a word that would work in an aggressive were-dolphin seduction. Hmmm….

    Jim Hines, so full of awesome.

  8. 8
    CK says:

    GAH!! The P&P web series is awesome!

    Though I’m still traumatized by those were-longhorns, I can’t help but wonder when someone will write were-chihuahuas. Yo quiero hot chihuahuas, no? 

  9. 9
    Jordan R says:


    Between the dolphin smexy times and the ball waxing… I can’t even come up with anything.  I’m oxygen deprived from laughing for so long.

  10. 10
    Vicki says:

    @CK My daughter lives with a were-chihuahua. Long haired chihuahua who morphs into an Ewok. She may be cute as heck but she can be really dangerous. Especially to the dark-side. Don’t under-estimate the chi.

  11. 11
    April V. says:

    Hm.  There is a blog about ebooks and deals that I visit every now and again and the title is ‘Books on the Knob’.  Should someone warn them?

  12. 12
    Beggar1015 says:

    First off, I admit I make reviews on Amazon, but mine are for real. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Nobody reads what I read anyway. It’s funny this should be brought up, though, because just the other day – out of curiousity – I was looking at the ranks of reviewers and I was wondering who the number one reviewer was on Amazon. It was some woman whose name I’ve already forgotten, but she has thousands of reviews and she loves everything! Every book, CD, movie, and electronic gadget that’s ever been created by mankind is a 5 star tour de force. So now that I know the secret to being number one, I’m going to start loving absolutely everything no matter how big a pile of steaming crap (Candy) it is.

  13. 13
    Hannah says:

    It is for this reason that Jim C. Hines (the C is very important) went from an “author whose books I get from the library” to “must buy and support this amazing person!”

  14. 14
    Sierra says:

    Well, that FB group is no longer public. Or is no longer there. I clicked the link and got a “content not found” message.

  15. 15

    The Amazon reviews were worth every moment I wasted cackling as I scrolled down the page.  Thank you for the links of awesomeness.

  16. 16
    Sascha says:

    I always break the DRM on my Kindle purchases.  Kindle on the iPhone stinks.  I’d rather read my books on Stanza, which allows you many more text settings and brightness changing options.  It’s frustrating that I have to jump through hoops when I purchase something.

  17. 17
    Flo_over says:

    *dies*  Those reviews are beautiful.  BEAUTIFUL.  I need a whole book full of those.  Someone should publish those, for bathroom reading of course.  Seriously, what better way to pass the time while pooping than to read hiiiiilarious reviews off Amazon?

  18. 18
    Ms. L says:

    I literally have tears streaming down my face – those Amazon reviews are hilarious! Were-dolphins…what next?!

  19. 19
    Janelovering says:

    Great Britain is the home of the knob.  Here it’s common as vernacular for the penis, I am especially loving the shop for door-furniture called ‘knobs and knockers’ (Knockers, for those who don’t know, is Brit slang for boobs).

  20. 20
    Rosa E. says:

    Oh my lord. How did I miss the Jim posts before? I laughed so hard I was having trouble breathing!

  21. 21
    Abbey says:

    Just saying that I love SBTB …

  22. 22
    Kimberly Nee says:

    So late to the party, but OMG, I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. I. Can’t. Breathe.

Comments are closed.

↑ Back to Top