I have a file on my hard drive titled “Old Skool with Jaundice,” and this is easily my favorite cover in that collection. It's not so much the jaundice possibilities as the hiding possibilities. What is she concealing under there?!
It's not the best quality scan, but oh, my, the possibilities are quite titillating. Time to Caption This Cover!
Put your best caption in the comments, and you're entered to win a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. Standard disclaimers apply: I'm not being compensated for this giveaway though sitting in the sun to counter any reports of jaundice would not be a horrible punishment. Open to anyone over the age of 18 anywhere in any time period. Slippery when wet. Less-than-three didn't look like a heart to me for a long, long time, and I couldn't figure out why so many people were 1-ing or 2-ing something. Do not remove under penalty of law.
You've got 24 hours to caption, and you can like and promote your favorites as you go.
So, what's going on there? Bring on the captions!
(In deep, low, Barry White voice) Mmmmm…………..oh, yeah baby……….now bark like a dog, Old Yeller! Daddy’s gonna give you a bone.
OMG!! A Rob Liefeld – worst comic artist on the planet – reference! I’m having a comic shop flashback.
OR, ‘The woman needed a chiropractor! Too bad the man she ran into took it the wrong way.’
shamefully admits… I think I read this book.
‘The woman was in dire need of a chiropractor. However, the man she ran into took it the wrong way’
“You definitely need a new seamstress, dear. She guaranteed that this ballgown would hold up to a kidnapping, an extended trek through the wilderness, at least two attacks by outlaws _and_ a shipwreck, and here we are – we have barely gotten out of Dodge, and the seams are unraveling already!”
“You should have chosen the pink silk, dear – this color really doesn’t go with the purple flowers.”
Wait! When I said I’d like to ride bareback, I meant that horse over there!
“Yup. That’s poison ivy, alright!”
Nathan had to admit his creation was amazingly life-like, now all he had to do was learn to sew.
“She smiled, certain that the next push on her buttocks would straighten her spine and allow her dress to actually cover her back. Bliss!”
He won her with, “It hurts so good…”
“Fire’s Tender Kiss” must be an old-fashioned term for anal sex without lube.
Fifty Spanks by Payne.
On the count of three my love I am going to swing my leg over and mount you, it will be easier if you don’t buck like my stallion.
Actually, that made me think of an old Bill Cosby routine about kindergarten and having to tell the teacher whether the bathroom request was for a 1 or a 2. The bit ends with him going on about “what business is it of hers if I’m 1-ing it or 2-ing it.” Funny stuff.
Fifty-eight shades of jaundice.
Darling, I’m so sorry the Heimlich maneuver didn’t work, but maybe a big slap on the butt will do it. On the count of three: 1, 2, ….
“Assumption is the mother of all fuckups,” Ginger taunted him, panting in desperate anticipation.
Reginald paused, “You had better not be writing a check with your mouth that you can’t cash with your ass…”
“I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. My body’s too Bootylicious, for you, babe…”
* All rights to Destiny’s Child.
“Milk, milk, lemonade,” Horatio murmured during their foreplay. Turning her over, he whispered, “The other side’s where fudge is made.”
Not my day. Steal a hog. Lose a fight with said hog. Hide the damn wiggling thing under my now torn frock. A neanderthal comes along with paws and the hots. I have a headache. Find my knife and I’ll take care of both of these suckers.
Roderigo breathed softly into her ear,“Jonquil, my flower, your many folds are alluring. Your many many folds.”
Wynonna’s risque behavior embarrassed even her horse, Mabel.
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!
Not entering but saying thanks to all you funny, funny folk for a nice chuckle after a looooooonnnngggg day.
“No, my love” he murmured tenderly, “I don’t know why they call it a donkey punch.”
This is the character’s Deke (from Decadent) ancestor. And he whispers softly in her ear. “I’ll be in ye arse soon. Saving thy life.”
Marisol never dreamed it was possible to feel such rapturous bliss, such heavenly freedom. Not until she found him: the only chiropractor in the whole Wild West
Oh that just made me crack up. At midnight. In a house where others are asleep. You win thirty Internets for that one.
When Dr. Rankenstein gave her back her hands using her leg to reconstruct her shoulder and arm he didn’t warn her that the loss of muscle control would leave her dependent on manual stimulation, like a motherless kitten learning to pee.
Falling off her horse into a field of cowitch was bad enough, but what happens next when Cayman Island heiress Calista Heartstopper is found by the notorious manwhore, Richard Fire?
Are you a Belles of Bedlam fan?
I dont give a damn about Rhett! Why Gone with the Wind when I had you at your first BDSM, Scarlett?!
Ah. Did I forget to mention that I’m a mermaid?
Oops.
Just sprayed myself with crackers over that one!
Have you ever played horsie?
Yes, he looked like that guy on a cheesy romance cover, but she didn’t complain. It was hard enough to find a back doctor who specialized in mermaids.
Is that your ass, or are you happy to—oh wait, no, it’s over there eating flowers. So what *am* I fondling?
Luis was enamored of Jillian’s junk in the trunk.