Help A Bitch Out

HaBO: She Remembers (Ahem) Certain Scenes

ItGirl sent me this inquiry, as she is looking for a book she read awhile back, and, alas, she can only remember certain scenes. 

Yeah, so I keep having flashes of this one book…and I want to
figure out what it is. Do you or the other readers possibly know this? I
have very little recollection except of the sex scenes. Because I was 17
years old and, you know. Sex.

I read it in the early 90s, maybe around 1991 or 1992, so you know it's a
treasure right there. It started at a prison in Louisiana during The War of
Northern Aggression. She was in and due to be executed in the morning
because of something or other, and she was Very Southern. 

He was a Union general (or somebody high ranking because they are never schlubs in these)
and was also to be executed in the morning. They shared a prison cell in the
night and she didn't want to die a virgin so they explored passion's embrace
together. And in the morning, the Union army took over the prison and freed
the Major General who accused the chick of sleeping with him to be freed,
whereas she accused him of sleeping with her to have some free nookie
because he knew the Union would prevail (he didn't but then what kind of
plot would that make?). But he unwillingly sets her free because of the
magical tightness of her genitals.

And then some number of years later he runs into her again, maybe out West,
after the war. She had the tresses of red that were unforgettable and he had
the shining black locks that set him apart. So they were staying at some
kind of hotel place and had adjoining balconies and because he had seen her
again his wangdoodle couldn't perform for another chick's handjobs, so when
the othee chick tries to get her some of that magnificence, he remains all
flaccid. And she shuns him and leaves his room and then the redhead from
years anon comes onto the balcony and suddenly he can hammer a spike with
that thing but they then forget it ever happened.

Until the one day they are stuck in some sort of cave in the mountains for
hours on end and decide to “get rid of” the lust for one another by going at
it hours on end. At one point she's down on her knees in front of him and
he's quadruple turned on by the meshing of her red hair against his shiny
blue black pubes and a few pages later it's reversed, with her being all
gushy for his shiny black locks against her natural redheadedness.

Descriptive, huh?

The part about the tightness of her genitals nearly caused me to fall off the couch laughing. I can't imagine this book is a mystery to some – who could forget all that hair? Anyone remember this book?


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  1. 1
    Michelle C. says:

    I don’t know this book, but I bet the characters’ nipples looked like cherries and/or copper pennies.

  2. 2
    Clbevill says:

    What is wrong with me that now I want to read that book? Blue black pubes and hammering spikes and all.

  3. 3
    FairyKat says:

    Absolute awesomesauce! I have no idea at all, having only discovered my first mildewed (honestly, it was in a trunk in a missionary camp cabin up a mountain in Hong Kong) Babara Cartland in about 1993. But I want to know!

  4. 4
    Evelyn Ryan says:

    I have no clue, but if you can’t find it, can you just re-write it yourself, so we can enjoy your way with words?? Please?

  5. 5
    Sandra says:

    I know it’s not the book you’re looking for, but parts of it sound like Jo Goodman’s Only in My Arms.

  6. 6
    Saskia says:

    I don’t know what book this is, but I just need to confess that this “selective memory” thing also happens to me.  Um, kind of a lot.  I tend to read pretty fast anyway, but I am fundamentally incapable of NOT finishing a book (no matter how bad or ridiculous it is), so I plow through the bad books even faster and usually all I can really remember are the most absurd, outlandish parts.  Which, with romance books, is often… well, you know.  When hollow characters with ill-developed motivations get freaky, they tend to get fuh-REE-kay.

  7. 7
    Linda Hilton says:

    OMFG—I think I got one!  Legend of Love, by Nan Ryan.  I have this book somewhere. . . . . but all I ever read was the beginning.

  8. 8
    Beggar1015 says:

    OMG, I not only read this, I had a hardback edition of it! She was out West searching for her estranged husband who had been searching for something (lost gold mine? lost city?) and ends up totally bat-shit crazy and living in a cave. It was sooooooo bad. I can picture the cover in my mind but can’t quite grab the title. I have absolutely no Google-fu but let me see if I can come up with anything. I believe the same author wrote another book where the heroine was like a Salvation Army type and the hero owned a saloon/brothel and the heroine somehow ends up having to ride a merry-go-round in the saloon. Ack, this is going to bug me until I find out the author/title.

  9. 9
    Beggar1015 says:

    I’m thinking the word legend is in the title.

  10. 10
    Beggar1015 says:

    Ah, you beat me to it.

  11. 11
    Linda Hilton says:

    beggar—Yeah but you beat me with the Salvation Army merry-go-round thingy.  Was that also by Nan Ryan?  What’s the title on that one?

  12. 12
    Beggar1015 says:

    I’m thinking the merry go round thingy is the same author. Still looking into that one.

  13. 13
    Beggar1015 says:

    Okay, it is Nan Ryan. It’s called A Lifetime of Heaven.

  14. 14
    Lily LeFevre says:

    Oh my god the only thing I remember about the 1 Nan Ryan book I read was that they actually do itttttttttttt on horseback. She did like to get freakay (slash implausible?) in her books, lol

  15. 15
    Sandra says:

    So did she recycle the plot? B&N has nothing on Legend of Love, except for a list of resellers. But they do have this: Dearest Enemy

  16. 16
    Itgirl says:

    ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!1!!! That’s it! Legend of Love by Nan Ryan! And the book blurb even refers to her as a “flame-haired, silken-skinned temptress” – temptresses never have dry, ashy, hairy, pockmarked skin.

    I must to The Interwebs and purchase a copy. And re-read.

    Thank you!

    Also, I think I must have read that merry go round one. And I think there was a Laura Kinsale where they did the deed on a horse.

  17. 17

    I am certain that there is a Kinsale with horseback lovin’ in it… Prince of Midnight I think?

  18. 18

    It was The Prince of Midnight, during the epilogue when he’s training the horse in Italy and she’s knocked up—neither situation really seems like it could be improved by the horseback sex but I’m not really an expert in reproduction or horse training so I can’t be sure.

  19. 19
    Deb Stover says:

    I kept thinking Rosemary Rogers while reading the description, but it seems you have solved the mystery.  Making a note…  ;)

  20. 20
    Puntamareda says:

    There’s also a Sarah McCarty novel with horseback lovin’ scene in it – Promises Linger, the first book in the series. It’s an erotic romance, I think…

  21. 21
    Violet Bick says:

    My first romance with a sex on horseback scene was a Johanna Lindsey novel. Sounds like there could be a whole new subgenre. Sex on horseback novels.

  22. 22
    Janet says:

    Love Storm by Susan Johnson. Sex on horseback, and so much more…:)

  23. 23
    FD says:

    I’m not an expert in reproduction ;) however, I’ve read that book, and what was pretty damn cool was the way that your (accurate) point about the horse was integrated – I could really believe that the author knew something about horses, which is painfully rare in romancelandia.  As sex scenes go, it was actually smoking rather than sketchy, despite the um… unusual setting.

  24. 24
    Cicelyvw says:

    Savage Thunder!

  25. 25
    Anannya Baruah says:

    Stephanie Laurens, Scandal’s Bride. But this book had the heroine hearing weird voices in the head that tell her to drug the hero and have sex with him.. sorry, make babies with him, so horseback sex is absolutely par for the course, really.

  26. 26
    Bnbsrose says:

    I’m pretty sure shthat was a horseback ANAL scene.

  27. 27
    Puntamareda says:

    OMG, really? I have no clue about that! my mind totally focused on the fact that he ordered the horse from its’ usual smooth as butter ride to a more choppy canter to help with the, ehm, horseback hoppin’ :)

  28. 28
    Itgirl says:

    Wait, I’m confused.  Which book has a horseback anal scene? Because my mind is blown that I haven’t read that yet.

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