I did a lot of vacation reading last week, and one thing that jumped out at me (not literally but if it had been it would have been awesome) is the relentless pursuit of cliches when describing nipples.
I'm sure you know what I'm talking about here: there's a sexy scene, and the characters undress. The sex scene – which is, it seems to me, more often from the male point of view than the female – includes a catalog description of the heroine's body.
First, I don't know why there's a need for a list of descriptions for each part, particularly the breasts. There are times when I see the catalog of naked parts and skim right over it, because it seems necessary only because the reader might need to be reminded THEY ARE NAKED NOW SEE THE NIPPLES?
Lately, the nipple descriptions are the ones that catch my attention… because they're all the same. The female nipples are pert, rosy, ruches, puckered, taut, and most often compared to fruit, like cherries, strawberries, or berries in general (no use of kumquat that I've found).
The monotony and sameness of these nipples is starting to bug me. It reminds me of recipes that suggest a dish might be great with a “crisp salad” or a “loaf of crusty bread.” No, thanks, I'll have a salad that's three days old and limp, possibly slimy, and I prefer my bread inside out, no crust.
Overstating the obvious is one thing, but I keep running into these nipples of monotony. Here, a handful of cherrypicked (snrk) examples.
Cool air kissed her skin, and Lucy was mortified to discover her breast bared, a small little apple cupped in his hand, with a dark berry for a nipple.
“Cherries,” he murmured as his thumb and forefinger gently pinched….
Pride & Passion
Charlotte Featherstone
December 2011
Pink nipples. Like ripe cherries. He'd always liked cherries.
Eternal Flame
Cynthia Eden
November 2010
If anything, her nipples were harder – ripe cherries begging to be plucked.
Fire Wolf
Anh Leod
He bent to take one nipple in his mouth. She tasted sweet, like ripe cherries, like a ripe pomegranate he'd tasted once in Mexico.
Lady Lavender
Lynna Banning
February 2011
Luc's eyes glittered darkly as he looked down at her breasts, the areolae surrounding the nipples a deep dusky pink, those nipples dark and swollen, like two ripe berries waiting to be tasted. Eaten.
His head lowered so that he might taste one of those berries.
Annie and the Red-Hot Italian
Carole Mortimer
January 2011
Her nipples felt like ripe berries rolling between his fingers, and suddenly he was overwhelmed by the need dot taste her, to draw her nipple deep into his mouth.
The Touch of Fire
Linda Howard
September 1997
He tore the fragile lace, but her breasts were released to him, her hard little nipples like ripe berries. A delicate, fragile pink. Hard, stiff.
Coyote's Mate, Book 2
Lora Leigh
February 2009
I do have to give a few props to Karen Anders, who worked actual cherries into the nipple scene:
Her nipples puckered, tightening into hard beads that looked as delicious as two cherries.
She curled her hand around the nape of his neck and drew his head downward….
Reaching into the colander, he grabbed a few cherries and crushed them, releasing the juices locked inside. Then he smeared his fingers over each of her nipples and heard her suck in a breath.
Deliciously Dangerous
Karen Anders
April 2010
While many of the women in romance have berry nipples (which sounds like the name of one of Strawberry Shortcake's less savory friends) men are not execpt from nipple cliche, either.
One flat male nipple came into view and she circled the areola with a fingertip.
Beyond Lust
Mary White
August 2005
Leaning forward, she braced her hands on the mattress next to him and licked first one flat male nipple, then the other.
Primal Male
Sasha White
November 2008
She found his flat, male nipples and teased them.
Still Mine
Mary Wine
May 2008
She looked down at her breasts, then over to Eirik's flat male nipples.
The Tarnished Lady
Sandra Hill
June 2011
I'm personally not a fan of the “flat male nipple” because if it were not a “male” nipple, WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD IT BE?
Copper pennies, that's what. Duh.
His skin gleamed like brown satin, the small flat nipples like dark copper pennies.
Somebody Killed His Editor
Josh Lanyon
April 2010
She toyed with his male nipples that were flat as copper pennies and felt delight when they became erect.
The Dark Earl
Virginia Henley
September 2011
His chest was wide and smooth, the muscles defined and his nipples as dusky as two copper pennies.
Secrets & Seductions
Pamela Toth
Do yourself a favor, and do not search for “nipples ripe berries” or any other variation of nipple monotony on Google:Books. It's worse than excerpts from Longarm, let me tell you.
So what to do with all these nipples, all this nipple monotony?
We need MORE NIPPLE DESCRIPTIONS!
Ergo, it is Nipple Contest Time. Your task: come up with a description for nipples, male, female or both, that can stand in place of the cliched description. You don't have to reference fruit, flatness, or currency. You can compare them to whatever you want. Your job is to describe them as best you can.
I will be judging the entries in 48 hours, but you can “like” the ones you like best to try to sway my voting.
The winner shall receive the people's ovation and fame forever, and a $25 gift card to the bookstore of their choice. Whee!
Standard disclaimers apply: I'm not being compensated for this giveaway. Must be over 18 to win, while wearing flat cherries. Your nipples may and should vary. Sometimes they even look like thumbs.
Now: go forth and describe nipples with better descriptions!
Ages ago, when I was in college, someone got hold of some ‘50s? ‘60s? porn. I still remember in one a woman’s nipples were compared to nubby pencil erasers. (Nope, haven’t been able to erase THAT one from my mind.)
The poolboy watched, enthralled, as she shimmied out of her bikini and bared her breasts the sky. Her nipples were two miniature sundials, one reading 10:20 and the other 10:27. He stepped closer, then hesitated.
“What?” she asked, a bit impatiently.
“Sorry… it’s just, I know daylight savings started today, but I can never remember which way to set the clock.”
“Oh,” she laughed. “That won’t be a problem. If you spring ahead, I’ll fall back.”
“Her nipples were like hard pink erasers, just waiting to erase his past mistakes.”
My personal nip pet-peeve is when I read a description of nipples poking through his/her shirt. Really? They’re that frickin sharp? Yeah, that’s… not normal. File those weapons down and go see a doctor.
“He palmed her breast, her nipple hardening in response. Suddenly he yanked his hand away with a yelp of pain—that formerly benign little nip had poked clean through her bra and blouse, slicing his hand nearly to the bone! “Darlin, if you wanted my bone, I could’ve given you the one further south,” he groaned, then ran away to find his first aid kit… and possibly also call the Men in Black to come deal with this creature who looked like a woman but whose nipples could put Ginsu knives to shame.”
Omg: “Well, good Lord, no wonder college boys have trouble finding the damn pearl while oyster diving.” made my day!
Reader fail: I did not read them as “copper pennies” but “copper penises” and wondered how so many writers could be thinking of such weird comparisons.
I mean, how pointy can they get?
*makes appointment to get eyes checked*
I just choked on my juice! Lmao!
This comment almost killed me. Was his belly button the ashtray?
I don’t remember where exactly, but I recently read a description I really liked where the heroine’s pebbled or bumpy areolas were mentioned. (not that mine are like that or anything. I have smooth hard tasty cherries, obviously…)
Cara looked at Dan’s flat male nipples and couldn’t help but be reminded of the dials on her grandfathers old transistor radio. She grabbed his nipples, twisting and turning, listening for just the right frequency. “Damn, Baby”, whispered Dan, “you know just the right way to turn me on!”
Nerd nips
Harold gazed open-mouthed at Ms. Snarkler’s Taj Mahalian breasts, each crowned with with nipples firm and upright as new pencil erasers of the very best quality. As she leaned back across the desk offering herself to him, someone in a neighboring cubical fired up a pencil sharpener. No longer able to resist aural or oral stimuli, Harold lowered his lips to her tiny exquisite Pink Pearls ™ and gave in to the urge to lathe (sic) her nipples till his pencil was fully sharpened.
Best i could do. Fruit is such a lousy metaphor. If they’re really the color of cherries or berries, they must be bleeding. How gross is that? Well, maybe not as gross as fresh little mounds of unchewed Double Bubble. I guess I’m just feeling literal minded today.
Best nipple description, bar none, in my memory, was by Fritz Lieber in one of his incomparable Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser tales. Chick named Hisvet had four sets as I recall, being as she was a were-rat of sorts, and the Mouser loved all eight of them.
Scary— Just don’t get them wet!
And, gazing soulfully at his siege engine, she replied broguishly, “I like it, too!”
Baby pencil erasers…I kid you not!
Did I cause you to spit drink all over yourself? Sorry about that.
Just turned 41. That’s hilarious and so fucking accurate. *sigh*
“Would you take off your shirt?” And there they were, placed delicately atop her chest, two snifters of whisky flirtatiously topped with pink cocktail umbrellas. He leant in close, inhaled, “The finest vintage.”
His nipples had the look and feel of silly putty dipped in raspberry Kool-Aid; soft, malleable and slightly aubergine. Susanna found it quite disconcerting.
Holy shit, this was so worth the wait. I’ve been dying to read these all day. Needless to say, I am not disappointed. You all rock! Like little nipples, all hard and rocky.
She wrapped her tongue around his nipples. They were pointed and hard, like the snaps on her western shirt. She couldn’t wait to suck them into her mouth. They fit like the stud being snapped into a socket. Oh SNAP, she thought. That prong fits in my mouth so perfectly.
[For you non-sewers (like me, lol), there are 4 parts to a snap… the socket, stud, hammer tool, and prong. Who knew a snap was so freaking sexual?]
Her nipples were like padlocks dropped into a sock…
Gah. Girl’s nipples are referred to as “pink” and the man’s nipples as “male nipples.” You know, in case we weren’t sure which one was the girl and which one was the boy. Or for maybe the younger readers sneaking these books who didn’t know men had nipples too? LOL
My contribution:
She untied the string holding her chemise in place to reveal her hot, heavy breasts. Arousal licked through her body like fire as she watched his eyes soften in desire for her. Her nipples were perky and alert like a tin soldier standing at attention awaiting for his own soldier to salute her and give orders.
Well, let me try.
Very slowly with callused hands he took off her shirt, staring at her breasts with the puckered tiny pacifiers the shade of a dusky rose. She wrapped her hands around them, turning away from his scrutinizing eyes. “I…I haven’t done this before,” she whispers as he watches the tiny pearls fall from the eyes. He does not respond but instead his tongue takes that tiny pacifier into his mouth and he gently bites it, feeling tremors run through her body.
He feels her hands glide over his body, the delicate fingers unhooking the buttons from the settings. He shrugs of his shirt and the pads of her fingers graze his nipples, soft rounded peaks from mountains responding to the touch.
Hope you guys enjoy it.
http://sveta-randomblog.blogsp…
Oddly enough, I was just thinking about how to categorize the certain ways men play with nipples. My favorite being the audio tuner. Not sure if this counts:
He pinched her fleshy little knobs pulling upwards between his thumb and index fingers, twisting and turning this way and that trying to fine tune her channel of pleasure. He must have found the right signal as she gasped in delight at his signature ‘right-twist-left-pull’ of her nubbed headlights.
Cheers from Mexico!
Such an invigorating post, one would think such fluent prose about sexuality and literature wouldn’t be found anywhere.
It’s nice to read! Thanks. 😀
(I cannot believe I’m posting this.)
His craggy, bronze nipples peaked out from his luxurious pelt of chest hair, reminding her of how Devil’s Tower rises up from the Great Plains. Sighing heavily, she just hoped there would’t be any other reminders of her last family vacation, especially Deadwood.
In the warm dark cave of the bedclothes, she arched over him. Her lushly swaying breasts ended in two glistening stalactites of lust, perfectly mirrored on his rock-hard chest by his own eagerly accreting stalagmites. As she leaned closer to whisper in his ear, the two pairs of points joined to form perfect pillars of passion. “Spelunk me,” she murmured as she tongued his headlamp on.
Hermione lifted her bra exposing Harry’s dreams and turned them to nightmares. Her left nipple was a fleshy carbuncle that had the shape of professor Snape, while her right contorted wart was the likeness of Dumbledore.
‘Well Harry, this is a children’s movie. What were you expecting?’ mumbled Nippledore.
‘FIFTY POINTS DEDUCTED AND DETENTION FOR A YEAR!’ yelled Nipplesnape.
‘You’re a whorecrux,’ Harry whispered.
‘That’s Horcrux, Harry.’ Hermione drooled. ‘Would you like to see Sirius?’
Her velvet cloak unfastened and fell to the floor.
Harry screamed.
I always loved the description from one of Margaret Drabble’s early books, The Summer Birdcage, ‘I think that the ost enchanting thing he ever said to me was that my nipples were like jelly-babies. Nobody else could have said as beautiful and stupid a thing as that.’
Her breasts reminded him of the call bell sitting on the front desk in the lobby-small, cute and impossible to ignore…
I know it’s pathetic of me, but what I like best about your (hilarious) comment was the fact that you automatically paired Harry and Hermione together?
It’s describing breasts as globes that does me in.
That wasn’t supposed to be a question, by the way. *Frowns at superfluous question mark. Question mark has no reaction because… it is a question mark*
It’s describing breasts as globes that does me in.
She had little itty bitty titties. Just a perfect mouthful. But her nippies, oh her just-the-right-size for sucking nippies, were nestled on the bed of pruney brown flesh. As stiff as his johnson, they stood at attention as if waiting for an order, waiting to be sucked, rolled, tweeked, pinched, nipped, bitten, drawn into his mouth and slavered around his tongue forever.
Little chunks of flesh, hard and unyielding in his mouth.
OMG. This post is hilarious!!! Now every time i read a book and see a description, i’ll substitute one of the above comments. priceless.
Dain unlaced her corset, gasping as he surveyed the glittering array of jewelry piercing her engorged nibbles. He dove in with the bravado of a man who hadn’t been laid in years -and accidentally sliced off the tip of his tongue.
A man, first and foremost. A lover, now. But always, always, a third grade teacher.
He admired her milky white skin, the color and sheen of Elmer’s school glue, adorned with two perfect, tight, unblemished number two pencil erasers. He licked one tight little nipple, half expecting it to taste of graphite.
Oh, crap! Comment got eaten. Let me try again:
A man, first and foremost. A lover now. But always, always a third grade teacher.
He admired the pale breasts, the color and sheen of Elmer’s school glue. He lowered his lips to one perfect, unblemished number two pencil eraser and suckled, surprised when it tasted faintly of salt rather than graphite.
I have just checked all my manuscripts, and only once do I describe a nipple, and that’s just “taut.” I guess I assume everyone knows what a nipple looks like, male or female. Strangely, I spend a fair amount of time describing scars…
I can remember reading an old yardsale HP from the early 70s late 60s where the h put lipstick on her nipples so they’d show up better underwhat she was wearing. At the time I dnf the book because it was too dated. Now I regret it.