Lovesweeping the Titles

Now that more of the old Loveswept romances are being re-released, I think it's time I spoke up with my one request for the Loveswept line.

If we're bringing back old Loveswept, we have to bring back the best Loveswept titles.

Angels on Zebras. Really, that's the title.

First, she's not actually ON the zebra. 

Second, join me in having this stuck in your head: Angels on zebras and weasels on ponies…dude on the carousel's likely a brony.

A Prince for Jenny. She's wearing orange and he's behind her while she sits on a swing.

 

Oh, yeah. He's a swinger. And she's totally looking at him like, “I don't care if you are a prince, this flower is lame.”

 

 

Ok, this title isn't SO bad, except for replacing the Angels on Zebras song with the Tina Turner Private Dancer, but dude. That illustration. That guy is creepy. I bet he throws her in a hole in the basement and turns the hose on her so she dances for him. 

 

 

Well, one of them is horny. 

But this, THIS one is my favorite: 

 

Ivan Takes a wife! Ivan Takes a Wife! Hi ho the dairy-o, Ivan Takes a Wife! 

Just wait for the sequel The Cheese Stands Alone.

Seriously, old Loveswept titles are awesome! How are they not being used in the re-releases?!

Do you remember any other excellent examples? (Never tell me the cheese actually did stand alone.) 

Comments are Closed

  1. Laura says:

    True confessions:  I had to google “brony.”

    Guess I’ve been living under a rock.  But now I kinda want to watch the show.  Goodness knows I’m nerdy too.

  2. Trish5170 says:

    As I recall it was more like a sanitary panty, the grass acting as an absorbant. The hero made it for her. Sort of unexpected realism in a romance novel.

  3. cleo says:

    I just learned something.  I didn’t realize that Avon is an imprint of HarperCollins – I was all set to tell you no, it’s not Avon, it’s HarperCollins, and then I did a little more googling. (Amazing how little attention I paid to publishers before I got my nook).  It looks like they re-leased it as a mass market in 2005 and as an e-book in 2009.

  4. I would read the shit ouuta “The Cheese Stands Alone,” the story of sad loner Brie Cheddar, trying to save his family’s gouda farm and goat-petting attraction.  Can his arranged marriage to the town’s wealthiest vixen, Ritzy Crackers, save Hardcheese Lane?

  5. The Other Susan says:

    Thanks everybody, including SB Sarah.  I really needed a laugh, and there’s just nothing like some cover snark when you really need it.

  6. Susan says:

    I’d never heard of this line, or any of the titles, but now I’m finding them strangely mesmerizing.

    Notice that the guys on the old timey covers were more likely to sport facial hair (a la Ivan and the Devil dude)?  I can’t offhand think of a single recent one where the H had a beard/mustache.  Of course, even their chests are shaved nowadays.

  7. Deb Stover says:

    Loveswepts were my favorite breed of “category” romance. I was brokenhearted when Bantam stopped publishing them.  Otherwise, I was a diehard historical romance reader from 6th grade.  These novels pulled me into another world, for which I am eternally grateful.  I saved all of Janet Evanovich’s 1st edition Loveswept releases.  I have only loaned them out once with a stern threat that they be returned or else!  They were, and I seriously doubt I’ll ever loan them out again.  I’m glad to see so many of these wonderful, unique books being reincarnated.  Brava!

  8. harthad says:

    Wait, wait, there’s a book with a hero—a shipwrecked commando, no less—who willingly makes a feminine hygiene product for the heroine??? Holy Toledo, this just keeps getting better.

    I don’t care if it’s only grass; my man won’t even open that drawer in the bathroom.

  9. Joannef425 says:

    Actually, he made the sanitary belt for her, cuz he’s just so thoughtful and he-manly.  They were stranded on the deserted island, and he was her chest-thumping protector and provider.  He knew she’d be getting her period soon, so he made it for her and showed her how to use it (fill with grass in lieu of kotex).  She thought it was a dandy gift and wore it with pride.  As soon as the belt came off, he went all rapey on her and literally chased her all over the island until she realized that, being a mere weak woman, he was just too powerful to exist.

  10. Joannef425 says:

    LOL!  I meant he was “too powerful to resist!”

  11. So clicking on the link to Date with the Devil, I couldn’t get past THIS old LS cover (and have the ear worm to prove it): Hurts so Good, also by Olivia R. “His mouth made beautiful music, whether on a sax or women’s bodies.” It’s like a combination of Harrison Ford in Witness and John Cougar Mellencamp at the same time.

    http://www.amazon.com/HURTS-GO…

  12. OMG!!!!  I used to subscribe to Loveswept romances when you could get them mailed to you!!  Four books each month!  I cried when they quit printing them.

  13. Laura says:

    Best. Typo.  Ever.

    Many of these alpha jackasses ARE too powerful to exist, because any right-thinking woman would murder them while they slept (once they’d finished raping).

  14. SB Sarah says:

    I can’t tell you how much I want to read this. You had me at 6 foot blue teddy.

  15. Alysette says:

    There actually IS a book titled “The Cheese Stands Alone” by a Marjorie M. Prince.  No reviews, no clue what it’s about.  I was trying to remember the title of Robert Cormier’s book “I Am the Cheese” which uses the Farmer in the Dell rhyme as a basis.  It’s been years since I read “I Am the Cheese” though: all I remember is that the narrator was unreliable (as you might suspect anyone of being who compares himself to a dairy product). 

  16. Joannef425 says:

    Looks more like Kenny G meets Urkel.

  17. PamG says:

    Love that cover,  I didn’t even know jazz dudes wore suspenders.  And the sax is such a nice change from the unsheathed swords and other weaponry.  Gotta love a man with sax appeal.

  18. Wendy Barron says:

    “Ivan Takes a Wife” was recently released (along with many other of Evanovich’s novellas) as an ebook. It’s been retitled to “Love Overboard”. I gave it three stars.

  19. Beggar1015 says:

    Not enough romance heroes wear suspenders on their book covers. Really, suspenders need to make a come-back.

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  22. 7nina says:

    Don’t forget The Sorceror’s Keeper By Kathleen Creighton.

  23. Dominoed Daredoll says:

    re: “A Prince for Jenny”
    I had to Google that one to make certain it was the one I remember reading from my childhood.

    Jenny is a “special needs” person – which made several of the scenes incredibly awkward if not creepy to me. But memory is a strange thing. Maybe my youthful perception of it was “creepy” because of how into her childlike innocence the Hero was. Maybe I’d read it now and find it inspiring that a special needs woman found love and commend the author for handling it in a way that gave the characters dignity.

    But, personally… Her beauty and innocence are made a lot of. I recall a lot of stress being placed on how child-like she was in spite of her intelligence and artistic talent. I remember finding it extremely upsetting at the time. I’m sure there’s a way to handle special needs romances in a way that isn’t upsettingly like… well… Need I harken back to her “childlike innocence”? – but I’m not rereading that one to see if it passes my adult mind’s judgment.

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