Oh, gracious. The entries for this week's Caption This Cover: Carpet Edition were the warp and weft of awesome. It was nearly impossible to narrow down the winners. I also can't believe that I blanked on the fact that we'd snarked this cover some years ago. Some things, like rugs that look like alligator heads, never age, or hang around your brain even though they totally should.
So! Without futher ado, the Honorable Mentions for the Caption This Cover contest:
Faellie: “He's the ideal member for your male harem, and he can cut a rug, too.”
Kaetrin: “Cold winter nights causing shrinkage? Worry no more!
New from the makers of the Snuggie comes the Woodie. Protect your package with the all new Woodie and the disparaging gossip will be a thing of the past.
Your special someone won't be able to resist you when you: “Keep it warm with a Woodie!!”
JennyB: “Carpeted for her pleasure.”
Arloa: “He was so hard, you could wash a rug on him.”
Emily: “What he had done to the carpet redefined the term “doggie style.”
Jennifer Armintrout: “I'll take a yard. Oh, and I'll have some of the fabric, too.”
Deb G: “Crewel Passion” For most of his life, Harold thought his luxurious, multicolored pubic hair was something to be ashamed of. Certainly it had stunted his love life, as he allowed no woman to see his disfigurement. Finally, he could stand it no more – he went in search of a prostitute to slake his thirsts, damn the consequences! Who could have known she was also a knitter of extraordinary talent?…”
quidling: “As a realtor, Nathan James was prepared to please his client…whether she wanted carpet or hardwood.”
Maya: “Never go anywhere without your towel.”
Azteclady: “It's 42 and a towel, not 8 and a rug”
Everstar: “I said I wanted a shag rug, not a shagged rug!”
P. Kirby: “Uh, maybe it's my crappy screen, but what I see is … a nekkid man playing air guitar with a tattooed alligator.”
(Technically not a caption but I nearly choked when I read that one.)
LoveCow2000: “I think Beau Brummel would recommend a Mathematical or Waterfall.”
Sarah S: “I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways, and under
On a magic carpet ride.
A whole new world!!!!!”
snarkhunter: “Drapery Recycling: Scarlett O'Hara and Sister Maria were amateurs.”
And the winner, with over 194 likes and the dubious honor of making me choke on my lunch while reading the comments:
Ann Somerville: “Linus grew up into a fine figure of a man, but he never did manage to get rid of his blanket.”
Congrats to the winner, and many thanks for the truly entertaining and burningly funny entries. Don't spill on the rug, now.