Jan Oda sent me this cover, and all the possible jokes ran to the front of my brain and pushed each other like the doors just opened at Target and everything was 65% off.I'm not sure if there's been a better candidate for “Caption That Cover” – well, of course there have, but not this week!
I mean, from jokes about munching carpet to whether the rug matches the drapes to what REALLY goes on in NJ, there's no shortage (heh) of opportunities here. So here we go! It's Caption That Cover time!
Leave your caption in the comments, and I'll pick the best one. The champion captioner will win a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of his or her choosing.
Standard disclaimers apply. I'm not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to those 18 years of age and older. Slippery When Wet. You Give Love a Bad Name. Janie, Don't Take Your Love to Town. We Gotta Get out of This Place.
You've got 24 hours – and feel free to use that “like” button to signal which comments you think ought to win.
Ready, set, caption that giant rug!
And so HE said he was “making a new path for the Roomba.”
After seeing Wanda thoroughly Hoover the rug, Chuck had an idea.
The misunderstanding that resulted when he told his new girlfriend he liked carpet munchers was resolved when he took off his pants.
Woven Dreamy Tapestries: A novel about experimentation with alternative condom materials.
“What He Holds in His Hands”
She thought he came to clean the carpet, but it was the other way around.
More surprises from the orange box! (so say Hermes).
I’m wiping off the wine bottle. You ready to pop this cork?
my carpet burneth for you, m’lady.
Yes. Absolutely.
Choosing the fabric for his new codpiece was not easy… would it be soft and cozy, or turn out to be rough and chafe?
He thought he’d try a hot new brand – ‘Woven for her pleasure’
“How ‘bout a haunch of Persian meat, baby?”
Gives an entirely new meaning to “Rug Burn.”
Wild, wet … and woolly!
Too Easy.
(Yeah, that’s my entry. So to speak)
Now what will we do with all that static electricity?? 🙂
A man is judged by the cut of his cloth, not the size of his jib.
marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
1) cut a hole in a rug
2) put your junk in that rug
3) make her open that rug
and that’s the way you do it
“I got your magic carpet ride right here, baby”
Drapery Recycling: Scarlett O’Hara and Sister Maria were amateurs.
They say that for erections lasting more than four hours you should head to the ER, not attempt a magic carpet ride.
Is that a rug beater under there or are you just happy to see me?
“Why is Reggie so upset? He told me to lay the carpet!”
A novel so hot it leaves Rug burns on more than just your knees
“Carpet is made with orginal ManMade fibers to give you that extra pile you have always wanted”
“Now…blow!”
Does this make me look fat?
Somewhere beneath Paris a thousand Gobelins tapestry weavers are rolling in their graves.
“Pay no attention to the ham behind the curtain…”
His partner insists on protection…his latex allergy requires carpet…
—————————————————————————————————————
He’s gonna tapestry that ass…watch out for rug burn!
“Gee, Maria, thanks for the embroidered Penis cover!”
I think being married for so long warped my brain. My first thought:
“Wow is she going to get pissed when she sees Mr. ‘But I Couldn’t Find a Towel’.”
Modesty becomes him.
“Come here, baby. I’m gonna warp your weft.”
Don misunderstood the sexy lab tech when she asked for a sample of his genetic material.
Tinkler, Tailer, Soldier, Spy
To all those fellas with ladies to impress
It’s easy to do, just follow these steps:
Go get a scarf
Put your junk in that scarf
Make her move that scarf
And that’s the way you do it!
It’s my dick in a scarf! (Oooh!)
(You could assume I’ve been emphatically not studying by watching the Lonely Island videos. You’d be right.)
I didn’t start without you…I swear…
C’mon, man, this pork loin is heavier than it looks.
No, Tom your carpet is not magic and it does not make you invisible.