Jan Oda sent me this cover, and all the possible jokes ran to the front of my brain and pushed each other like the doors just opened at Target and everything was 65% off.I'm not sure if there's been a better candidate for “Caption That Cover” – well, of course there have, but not this week!
I mean, from jokes about munching carpet to whether the rug matches the drapes to what REALLY goes on in NJ, there's no shortage (heh) of opportunities here. So here we go! It's Caption That Cover time!
Leave your caption in the comments, and I'll pick the best one. The champion captioner will win a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of his or her choosing.
Standard disclaimers apply. I'm not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to those 18 years of age and older. Slippery When Wet. You Give Love a Bad Name. Janie, Don't Take Your Love to Town. We Gotta Get out of This Place.
You've got 24 hours – and feel free to use that “like” button to signal which comments you think ought to win.
Ready, set, caption that giant rug!
I have the wierdest boner right now…
I really don’t think that will help remove the stain…..
Woven Dreams Tapestries: No decor or theme too creepy for our expert carpet and wood handlers. Put yourself in our capable hands and call now. Operators are standing by.
Seriously, I kept thinking the whatever-it-is was a naked, upside down, tattooed torso with most of the flesh and skin missing. Ye gods.
Ah, I had forgotten about that old comic book until you reminded me.
I don’t know if you’d want to save that one.
On the byways and bridges of glorious Venice roamed the dreaded headless zombie weavers, luring the unwary with their siren call of “Rugs on a stick…. Get yer fresh rugs on a stick!”
That’s my caption, but I gotta admit the first thing I thought of when I saw that cover was: “Is that a piece of MEAT?!?” (And, why is the butcher naked?)
“Darling, I thought we had discussed testing the no residue cleaner a bit differently…”
As a realtor, Nathan James was prepared to please his client…whether she wanted carpet or hardwood.
Pay no attention to that manmeat behind the curtain!!
I bet when his G.F./wife gets home and sees the strange & large wet spot on the livingroom rug he blames it on the dog.
First there was the Snuggie. Then came the Forever Lazy. But was the world ready for something higher in…I mean higher end?
“Dirk, I know we’re out of condoms, but I’m not that desperate!”
Rick thought Ada would be be touched to receive his lucky bowling pin as a gift, but let’s just say the unwrapping was…disappointing.
“Steel wrapped in woven silk, he invited her to walk on him”
Woot! Points for Lebowski reference!
I knew I’d seen this before!
http://smartbitchestrashybooks…
What can I say, I have a strong visual memory. And that is a strong visual memory…
OMG so glad I got home from work before reading these comments.
1) Come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride.
And has their art director been reading Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Because obviously someone has found another use for their towel. With that in mind…
2) Mostly Harmless…wasn’t quite truth in advertising.
Can I just add that this is one of the best “Caption the Cover” events ever? Thank you, bitchery, for keeping it real and awesome!
He was so hard, you could wash a rug on him.
What’s up with the OTHER naked dude in the background?? And are they in a bathhouse or what? Male harem? I don’t see a tapestry by the second man, but his hand would suggest he likes what he sees across the room!
I love a well-played Big Lebowski reference!
Yes and well larded too!
Hey, honey, want a piece of my Turkish delight?
I’ll second that Darlene! You all rock!
This has to be among the top contenders. You cracked me up!
Hey, look what I found..a BARE skin rug!
OK, I know that was bad…but I didn’t see anyone else go there yet… 🙂
“Cover me, I’m going in.”
How about you rub this magic lamp and we can see what pops up?
That is what I saw too! I was going to make a “yet another yankee misunderstood what stuffed mirliton really is” but…alas, it’s just a rug. alligator would have made this ulitmate caption of all time!
“When she asked him to air the carpet by smacking it, this isn’t what she had in mind…”
Dear Santa…
I thought it looked like an enormous, pulsating penis. That he had to hold up. Did anyone else see this??
Just let go of the damn carpet. Please let me see you.
Forever lazy? Ha! More like, forever dreamy.
Oh my. Has anyone else noticed the other naked dude in the background? Or is that just a mirror? Because that makes this a party cover.
See this rug? I wove it with my own hair…and not from my head!
No snazzy comments from me—though the cover and then the comments had me laughing out loud. My only thought: as if the guy in the front isn’t bad enough, what the heck is going on with the guy in the back? Is he checking out his package? Does he have carpet envy?
The Genie had granted him three wishes for polishing Aladdin’s lamp with a magic carpet; now, he just needed wait for second skin from the pharmacy to be delivered.
Mr. Mighty never needs an excuse to encase his wong in something soft, vibrant and capable of absorbing excess fluids.
Courtesy of the hubby: The Burger King always keeps his Whopper wrapped.