Caption This Cover: Absent Asscrack Winners!

Her ass has no crack. Seriously. It's been smoothed out with some horrible Photoshop action.The absence of buttcrack yields only the finest in creativity! Time to announce the winner of our latest “Caption That Cover” contest, where you plumbed the depths of humor without reservation. Alas, this poor woman will not be saved by anything, particularly not any backdoor action.

Honorable Mentions go to:

CK for “Shut the back door!”

azteclady for “Which part of “do not enter” you didn’t get?”

Lucy Woodhull for “Felicity’s jonesing for an asshole.  Can a girl get a butt butt?”

RH Rush for “He would have loved to be in her ass, savin’ her life—but sadly, it appeared she was destined for certain death.”

Darlynne for “Dammit, first my wallet, then my keys, now my asshole. Where is this stuff going?”

Allison for “My mama always said I couldn’t tell my ass from my elbow…”

VandyJ for “After all this time, Barbie was still a tease, all talk, no place for action.”

and Sarah W for ““Other girls like to act holier than thou.  Felicity Jones has to.”

Our first runner up is Cathy KJ for, “The newest release from the mother hen of cloaca erotica.”

And the winner of a $25 gift card to the bookstore of her choosing is: Tina M for the entry (heh):

Flex Seal liquid rubber seal.
She used it on:





and much, much more!

Tina, email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom to claim your book-shopping winnings! Congrats to the winner, the runners up, and thank you to everyone who entered. SNERK. Or, didn’t enter, as it were.


General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Emily says:

    Okay so I didn’t have power when this contest was on but can I say the picture is obscene and disturbing?
    Congratulations to Tina M and to everyone for coming up with such witty captions!

  2. 2
    azteclady says:

    Congratulations to Tina—and thank you to everyone who contributed, it’s hilarious to read.

    (And hah, I made it to the honorable mentions, whodathunkit? Thank you, Smart Bitches everywhere!)

  3. 3
    VandyJ says:

    I’m thrilled to make the honorable mentions.  And the picture is still disturbing.

  4. 4

    I’m honored!  All the winners are LULZ worthy.  I hope that poor girl gets some help.

  5. 5
    EbonyMcKenna says:

    This competition cracked me up. Congrats to the winners and honourable mentions and everyone for making me laugh so hard I hurt.

  6. 6
    Tina M. says:

    Thank you! Thank you!  I’m getting to that email right now!

  7. 7
    SusanL says:

    Congratulations to everyone.  I loved this contest and I thank y’all for the laughs :D

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