The Kirkus review for EIKAL disliked my descent into occasional silliness, prompting me to realize THERE HAS NOT BEEN ENOUGH SILLY.
Fortunately, Switzerland is always ready to help. I mean, come on. When you think “silly” you immediately think of the Swiss, right? Of course you do.
I mean, have a look at this photo from the Guardian Eyewitness.
The caption is just magical: A group of 25 extreme jacuzzi enthusiasts have a soak suspended 150 metres above the ground from the New Gueuroz bridge in Switzerland. The event took about 2,500 hours to plan and a further six hours to assemble – all for 2.5 hours in the tub.
My first thought: OH HELL NO. But I’m afraid of heights. Just looking at that picture made me a bit woozy.
But my second though: WHY are there no Extreme Jacuzzi Enthusiast Romance Characters?!
REALLY, now. Harlequin should have been ALL OVER THAT, back before the titles changed (Thank you). “The Billionaire Extreme Jacuzzi Enthusiast’s Waterlogged Bride?”
IMAGINE the GLORY.
Hell, let’s MAKE the glory.
Your task! Write a title and cover copy, up to 250 words, for an Extreme Jacuzzi Enthusiast romance. BRING IT ON. Winner gets a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of his or her choice. Open to clever writers 18 years of age and older. Void where prohibited. Your monkey may vary. Open to international winners unless you don’t have bookstores. Hell, that’s half the US, so scratch that. Open to international winners, regardless of local bookstore status.
Entries are due VIA EMAIL to SarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom by Wednesday 12 October, 8pm Eastern Time. Winner will be decided by votes cast on Thursday 13 October.
REMINDER: PLEASE EMAIL ME YOUR ENTRY. Don’t put it in the comments. Thanks!
Here’s a sample, based on my sample title:
Bertram Von Jigglepaunch, international playboy and extreme jacuzzi enthusiast, finds himself sidelined the week before the Z Games – only the most important event in Jacuzzi Enthusiasm! The culprit? An unknown skin ailment that resists even the power of Blue Star Ointment. Clearly it’s not jock itch, ringworm, psoriasis, or teter.
Dermatologist Maria Troutwaffle is his only hope. With an experimental treatment, Maria’s efforts could cure Bertram of his itch. But when he wants to show her the passion of his jacuzzi, will her life-long fear of water drown the festering passion growing in their loins?
I know someone at Harlequin right now is thinking, “WHY does she not work here? And HOW is she not Canadian?” I ask myself that question often. I also ponder extreme jacuzzi enthusiasm a little more than I should.
So, you ready? Who can resist the passion of extreme jacuzzi?