Help A Bitch Out

If It’s Wednesday, There are More HaBOs

This request comes from Faellie, who is looking for a book she read a long, long time ago.

My HABO is a paperback which I read some years ago and which I think I came across in a holiday rental, because it would still be on my shelves (who am I kidding, in one of my boxes) if it had been my own copy.  The book is set in a country village in Yorkshire, in winter because there is a lot of snow around.

The heroine is an artist who moves into the area.  The hero is the sexy strawberry blond vicar of the parish.  The hero has some sort of entanglement which means he can’t openly be with the heroine.  The entanglement may involve the female half of a pair of evil twins.  The evil twins may be getting it on (or that may be my evil imagination), but the male half of the evil twins may also have been sniffing round the heroine.  The heroine paints a life-size portrait in oils of the vicar, full-frontal naked, and the portrait plays a part in the (happy) denouement.  The title may be something to do with winter.

An internet search has failed me, probably because I’m reluctant to google “full-frontal vicar”.  If anyone remembers this one I’d be grateful.

Who doesn’t love some full frontal vicar?! Anyone remember this book?

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  1. 1
    Jeannie says:

    Could the hero’s entanglement possibly be the fact that he’s a vicar? IDK, just a guess. And I had a Thorn Birds flashback for a second there.

    I got lost at evil twins getting it on. I have no idea what this book could be but it sounds like all kinds of fucked-up craziness. Somebody please come up with this one!

  2. 2

    This does sound a lot like Thorn Birds or almost like a subplot of The Lakes where the mom and the priest get it on together and she gets pregnant. Anyway, I digress. Someone please figure out what this hot mess is because I have got to read it.

  3. 3
    Susan Reader says:

    Vicars are allowed to have sex lives—they’re not Catholic priests. 

    I’m pretty sure I haven’t read this one (though I’d like to) but it does sound familiar.  Predatory evil siblings, Yorkshire country villages, snowy winter landscape, hunky vicar hero… I’ve read books with one or two of these at a time, but never all four together.

    (A recommendation: one of my very very favorites is Trisha Ashley’s Every Woman for Herself, which does involve a Yorkshire village, snowy landscape, and hunky vicar (though he’s not the hero).  No evil siblings, but there are Wiccans, selfobsessed academics, a parody of the Bronte family, and a whole lot more.)

    “might82”… might have to read 82 book synopses to find the right one!

  4. 4
    Barb in Maryland says:

    Sounds very vaguely like Gaffney’s To Love and To Cherish. He’s a vicar, she’s an artist, at least.  Don’t know if there’s a portrait or not.  Ditto about the evil twins.

    BTW, the best evil twins I have encountered were in McBain’s Moonstruck Madness; but that one doesn’t have a vicar or an artist as main characters.

  5. 5
    Laine says:

    No idea about the book but I did just google “full-frontal vicar” and was disappointed with the results. Totally tame.

  6. 6
    cbackson says:

    As an Anglican, I would totally like to read some romances with hunky vicar heroes.  My parish priest is an (awesome) middle-aged lady with a sensible haircut.

  7. 7
    DreadPirateRachel says:

    No idea about the book but I did just google “full-frontal vicar” and was disappointed with the results. Totally tame.

    Well, after you said that, I had to Google it, too, and you’re right. There’s nothing exciting there at all, except for a bizarre Donald Duck version of the Vitruvian Man.

  8. 8
    Donna says:

    Full frontal vicar!!!!! MUST HAVE THIS BOOK!!!

  9. 9
    Laura says:

    This book reminds me of a Trisha Ashley, too. In Chocolate Wishes she’s a chocolate maker from a pagan family and he’s a vicar. I don’t remember any evil twins, though.  She also has a book called Winter’s Tale (or maybe A Winter’s Tale), but I don’t remember there being a vicar in that.  Anyway, I love all her books and would recommend her to anyone, but I don’t usually think of them as romances. More chick lit, although sometimes the line between the two genres is a little blurry to me!

  10. 10
    eli68 says:

    Hi,

    My first post, and delurking – I own this one, it’s “The Colours of Snow”, by Kate Fenton (published in the UK).  The entanglement is that the vicar is (very unhappily) married, there is a certain amount of angst until we get to the HEA.

    I haven’t read it in a while, but I seem to remember liking it quite a bit.  I think it’s out of print at the moment.

  11. 11
    jcscot says:

    My first post, and delurking – I own this one, it’s “The Colours of Snow”

    Rats – one of the few times I know the answer and someone beat me to it!  I think it is out of print as I was searching for a Kindle version of “Lions and Liquorice” by the same author (a rather good modern retelling of “Pride and Prejudice”) and all her books seemed only to be available secondhand.

  12. 12
    Faellie says:

    Heh! The Bitchery triumphs again.  The Colours of Snow by Kate Fenton it is, and a second-hand copy is now on its way to me.  I just had to click “buy” before all you vicar-loving fanatics bought up the available copies.

    The author has a website, http://www.katefenton.com  Sadl.y she seems no longer to be publishing new books, but she published half a dozen all told, when I only knew of the one, so that’s some more good reading in my future now.

    Thanks to eli68 and jcscot.

  13. 13
    Cakes says:

    I’ve never read her, but just added them all to my WANT list. I read her website and I love her! Nothing worse than writer’s block eating you away! Sending lots of love and inspirational thoughts your way, Kate!

  14. 14
    LisaM says:

    bizarre Donald Duck version of the Vitruvian Man

    I couldn’t bring myself to google “full frontal vicar” either but I did google Donald Duck Vitruvian man and it is indeed bizarre.

  15. 15
    eli68 says:

    Glad to have helped!  I’ve read another one of hers, “Lions and Liquorice”, modern day retelling of Pride and Prejudice with gender reversal (tall dark heroine!) which I also thought was well done.

  16. 16
    BookwormBabe says:

    Amazingly my local library has all bar one (Lions and Liquorice) of these books!  Love my library.

  17. 17
    snarkhunter says:

    Full-frontal vicar is now my new favorite phrase.

  18. 18
    Kara says:

    Huh, my library system only has Vanity and Vexation (the US title of Lions and Liquorice), maybe we should trade libraries! I’m putting a hold on this ASAP!

    Just reading up on Kate Fenton, she was married to Ian Carmichael, the actor, who died just this year in February.

  19. 19
    anabelle says:

    Damn! Why do I read these things? Amazon is now richer to the tune of one Kate Fenton and one Trisha Ashley.

    Spamword take59 – why yes, I will take 59 chick lit and romance novels, thank you.

  20. 20
    eggs says:

    I’m late to the party, but I just googled “full frontal vicar” and the top results are all from … smartbitchestrashybooks.com!

  21. 21
    Susan says:

    Darn—had to add yet another book to my wish list!

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