Fitzwilliam Darcy in the Sack

Book Cover

Something about the pocket watch… it is so subtle. It’s trying to evoke something, but what? I don’t think I have the stones to figure it out. The ponderous weight of contemplation is leaving me blank. Oh, dear. The balls are in your court now.

Graceful curtsey to Catinbody for the link to this cover.

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  1. 1
    Ros says:

    People are writing and publishing AU’s of Pride and Prejudice?  I am too disturbed by that to care where his pocket watch might be!

    When I’m queen, there will be a law against such books.

  2. 2
    Jessica MD says:

    Did someone (or I guess several someones) honestly think that this cover is appealing?  That this was going to make people want to buy the book?

    Granted, it got our attention and it does make me giggle, but it’s a I’m-not-laughing-with-you-I’m-laughing-AT-you giggle.

  3. 3
    Crystal says:

    LOL! I didn’t get it until you said balls.

  4. 4
    FairyKat says:

    How the Hell does a ‘left handed marriage’ (which hand, after all, is holding the chain?) between Pride and Predjudice and Mary Shelley’s The Last Man (which is about the Last Man in the World) ever get approved.

    I can just imagine it.  ‘Miss Austen, meet Mrs Shelley, I’m sure you’ll have a lot in common, being women who write books’.
    Miss Austen: ‘Actually no, I’d rather not, her mother was a brazen hussy, and she married an anarchist’
    Mrs Shelley: ‘Frankly, I’d rather be a hussy than a dried up Anglican spinster.’

    Actually, this is a great idea.

  5. 5
    Kaetrin says:

    Is his torso too short?  And, where’s his neck?

    Does he have some sort of scoliosis going on?  Maybe the pendulous weight is dragging him down?

    Colin Firth is a much better Mr. Darcy IMO. :)

  6. 6

    It reminds me of the blog I just posted over at All Day, All Night Writing Divas.  Here’s the link:

    I had a reader comment about the cover misleading her as to the “heat” level of the book.  It made me question whether book covers in the digital age have some sort of obligation to serve as a heat index.

    I’m not sure that covers have any such obligation, but if they did, what heat level would this one convey?

  7. 7
    CT says:

    @Ros: You have my vote for queen of the world, as long as you promise to sort this mess out. Because, really.

  8. 8
    Saskia says:

    I’m not sure that covers have any such obligation, but if they did, what heat level would this one convey?

    Clammy?  I dunno, that dude up there… whoever he’s supposed to be, he looks awfully stumpy and Napoleonic and absolutely nothing like I would imagine any incarnation of Mr. Darcy.  That plus the whole anvilicious business of the ponderous weight just equals out to uncomfortably lukewarm.

    There’s a cover blurb, eh?  “Uncomfortably lukewarm!”

    Someone deserves to be sacked over this cover.

  9. 9
    Linsalot says:

    I just can’t understand what is going on with those pants and the more I stare the worse it gets.

  10. 10
    Natalie Arloa says:

    Major props to Saskia for using the work “anvilicious”!

    Also, a couple of inches under the “open locket,” there’s a strange-looking lump on his leg that seems too solid to just be a fold in the pants. Does he really have to wrap it around his leg?

  11. 11
    Kris says:

    “Last man in the world” or not, I still wouldn’t tap that ridiculous looking dude.  That is just wrong.

  12. 12
    Donna says:

    @fairycat I’m with you. In fact, I’d pay money to see it. And what is it with publishers? Do they really think we’re that easy? Throw a little gratuitous subliminal genitalia with Darcy’s name on it at us & the book will fly off the shelf?

  13. 13
    Hannah says:

    He is apparently lacking any genitalia under his pants so he needs that pocket watch!

  14. 14
    Flo says:

    Sometimes subtlety should be slapped in the face.  With a pocket watch.

  15. 15
    Sarah Frantz says:

    He’s not a guy at all, people! Look at that camel toe! You don’t get camel toe like that when you have external genitalia. Although, holy crap, you don’t get camel toe like that without them, either. It’s like his “slit” is a little TOO slitty, if you ask me. O.o

  16. 16
    Carly M. says:

    I love Ms. Reyolds’ books (and her fanfiction before), but I find the complaint over the heat level hilarious. What about this cover says wild monkey love? I mean, I just like to pretend that cover is of Mr. Collins.

  17. 17
    Linda Hilton says:

    His pants have no, um, fly.  Do they zip in the back?


    into63—yep, in October

  18. 18

    His pants have no, um, fly.  Do they zip in the back?

    That’s actually the one thing about that painting that isn’t weird.  During the regency, men’s trousers and breeches were made with what’s called a “fall” (a flap that buttoned on the either of the waist).

  19. 19

    “the either” = either side

  20. 20

    @Alyssa Everett.  Into the sixties at least US Navy uniforms for non coms were still like that.  My husband used to say, “Thirteen chances to change your mind.”

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