Caption That Cover: Flaunting Cactus Winner

Flaunting CactusSome of you were so dry and witty in your replies I thought you were telling the truth. “A little known British idiom” indeed. Who knew flaunting cacti could inspire such creativity?

The honorable mentions go to:

Tina C. for ““Flaunting Cactus” is a little-used British expression, much like “preening peacock”, that is used when someone is a prick and is not just proud of it, he puts his prickishness on display whenever possible. 

HAIKU! Deadline Hell rocks the haiku with
Flaunting Cactus is
an inwardly chafing form
of the prickly pair.

Sorcha Mowbray: “A flaunting cactus is a reference to the gyrations of her pelvis two-three days after shaving. See, the hairs get so long they can poke right through the thin material of her sundress, and since she’s not wearing any panties (heh!) she is then sporting a Flaunting Cactus. It is a derogatory term from the same creator as Bat Wings.”

Proper usage by a guy: “She came at me with that Flaunting Cactus and I jerked my equipment away afraid of permanent damage. One poke was enough, so no, we didn’t slow dance.”

Jayne: “It’s a prick in your succulents. HEYO.”

Cathy: “A “flaunting cactus” is a slang term in the Southwest for a transvestite prostitute.  Beautiful to look at, but if you get too close, out pops the prick(er).”

But the winner and recipient of a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of her choice is:

Alyssa Cole for “A flaunting cactus is your typical type A romance hero; he brags about how many chicks he’s pricked and how he doesn’t need a woman around to water him on a regular basis, but in the end his spiny nature is a front for someone who’s actually a softy on the inside.”

Alyssa, email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom with your bookstore of choice. Thank you to all who entered and made that thread hilarious reading. Go forth and flaunt your cactus!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1

    These were all great submissions, but WTF does that title really mean? No offense to the author (who probably did not get to choose the title anyway, though you never know), but it’s impossible to get any sense of the story from something as cryptic and silly as The Flaunting Cactus. Was this a misprint? A cover gone bad, like the heroine with three arms?

  2. 2
    Tina C. says:

    Thanks for the honorable mention and congratulations to the winner, Alyssa Cole!  That was truly a great entry!

  3. 3
    EbonyMcKenna says:

    so much fun reading those entries. Kudos to the honorable mentions and the winnah!

  4. 4

    A charmingly tragic hipster in one of my Ed. Psych. classes wrote a poem to me describing me as a thistle.  Nice to look out but be careful about touching.  Pretty sure that is what this author was driving at, but won’t bother to read it to find out.

  5. 5

    “at”  and you know where it’s suppposed to be already.

  6. 6
    Alyssa Cole says:

    Oh, I just saw this! This is the perfect antidote for a soggy Monday morning. Thanks!!

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