Katie has a different spin on the HaBO but I figured this was SO insane I’d post it to see if anyone knew where she could find a copy.
So, this HaBO comes by way of my aunt, who recently got hooked on a series of novels (and when I say series, I mean there are 40 books) called the Saga of the Phenwick women. These are paperbacks, billed as Gothic Romance. After a little Googling, I determined they were actually written by a man (John Kimbro) who adopted a nom de plume for the Phenwick books (Kathryn Kimbrough). They were written between 1970s-1982 and have names like “Iris, the Bewitched” and “Yvonne, the Confident” and “Rachel, the Posessed.” (The opportunity for comedy here is unbound, I tell you.)
However, the last book in the series, “Belinda, the Impatient” (1982) is really, really hard to find. AbeBooks has one listed for nearly $80 and there is only one complete set on eBay (for $200, which seems like a relative bargain). Do any of your voracious readers know of some good used romance stores that might be able to scrounge up a copy? Or could check their local libraries and see if any might have it where it could be requested?
If it had been written in 2011 instead of 1982, I would have thought it was just a bit of clever viral marketing—write 39 addictive books, then write the last one with a mocking title (“the Impatient”) and make it really hard to get. It’d be like if Diana Gabaldon wrote the 8th Outlander book, entitled it “Hahahaha” and Random House only released a dozen copies. In Finnish.
This blurb comes courtesy of paperbackswap.com and is magnificently WTF.
“When Oliver Phenwick travels to Bavaria to dispose of the castle he has inherited, he and his group fall prey to a manical killer. Undaunted, Oliver remains determined to trap the anonymous culprit who keeps threatening his wife, Letita. So he hires the pretty young Belinda to impersonate her. But Oliver has no idea that Belinda’s life will soon be endangered by someone in their midst. Nor does he know that she will be taken hostage at the will of an evil hypnotist…”
Katie’s looked online, and found some ridiculously expensive copies. She’s also enquired at her library – but they don’t have a copy that they can find. But this series is full of the Crazysauce, so in the spirit of today I figured I’d ask if you knew of a copy, perhaps at a used bookstore, or if you’ve read this book and can tell us if it seems as magical as the blurb makes it seem!
Okay, according to Firstsearch, she may be able to access a copy through inter-library loan. The Montgomery County, Norristown Public Library supposedly owns a copy, and the Library of Congress lists one as well. I don’t know about Montgomery County, but the Library of Congress will lend for a smallish fee of $15.00. Good luck! Hope this info helps.
I noticed a copy sold a few days ago on eBay for $16. It may be worth adding to your watch list.
I’d already pulled up a Firstsearch when I saw your comment, MB 🙂
No idea where to find a copy, but Sarah, when will the contest for new titles be launched?
Right? A contest for new titles would be supreme. Thanks for the Firstsearch tip, I’ll point my aunt in that direction!
Katie, the Inquisitive
Yes! Want title contest:
Gertrude the Beleaguered
Olga the Exsanguinating
Priscilla the Pungent
Amelia the Defenestrated
As MB noted there are a few scarce copies out there, ask your local librarian to file an outer-library loan request with one of them. My local library got a book shipped from California to Wisconsin for me so I can attest this system does work! Depending on how aggressively online your local library is they may have a spot to fill out the request on their website. Good luck 🙂
Hannah the Hirsute
Hildegarde the Hangnailed
Prissy the Perverse
Prudence the Prudent
Debbie the Dragonbreathed
Isabella the Irritating
Tessie the TSTL
Mylyssa the Myspelled
Karin the Krrrazzzy
Marsha the Militant
Opal the Opportunistic
Sally the Sweaty (or, alternately Patti the Perspirerer)
I read those when I was 9 or 10! So I guess they were my first romance series and I never realized it.
I kind of thought of them as “Dark Shadows” rip offs.
Apparently one sold on ebay not too long ago for $16 +$4s/h. I’d keep checking there.There are lots of paperback swap websites. That might be a good resource, too.
Can I just ask: Do you usually post HaBOs as and when you receive them, or do you space them out and post on a schedule? I submitted one before Christmas and I check back quite regularly to see if it’s been posted, but nothing so far.
Oh man, I think the contest is already moot. Deadline Hell made me snort-laugh with “Amelia the Defenestrated.”
Indigo the Indefatigable
Rowena the Rambunctious
Louisa the Loquacious
Wendy the Wingnut
Renesmee the Imprinted
OMG! I have two of these! (Yvonne the Confident, and Ophelia the Anxious). I picked them up at the dollar bookstore about a month ago just for the WTF-ery. Now I feel strangely compelled to track down the entire series…
ROFL! I had to put my two cents in:
Selena the Salacious
Carrie the Curmudgeon
Odet the Osculater
Diana the Despoiler
Spam word: building54 – building 54 new titles for a non-existent contest!
Veronica the Voracious
Barbara the Barbaric
Catie the Curvaceous
This is fun; I could do this all day!
Oh, this is too much fun. Too bad Anony Miss beat me to the idea of T*** the Too Stupid To Live.
Evelyn the Evocative
Dorcas the Dork
Minerva the Mediocre
Daphne the Daft
Deirdre the Derelict
Macayla the Macabre
Chloe the Clingy
Madeline the Malodorous (inspired by RHG’s Sally the Sweaty)
Mandy the Manic Depressive
Whitney the Witless
Geraldine the Geriatric
Mary Beth the Face of Meth
Sadie the Sadist
Beatrix teh Buttseks
And in the interest of sex equality,
Patrick the Prick
Quincy the Quixotic
Don Juan the Delusional
Vic the Slick
John the Unoriginal
Dylan the Disillusioned
This is why I shouldn’t visit this site when punch drunk from lack of sleep and willing to procrastinate.
love,
Ellie the Espresso Fueled
spam word: forward63. As in Fiona the Forward.
Oooh, sophomoric humor. The best kind!
Felicia the Flatulent
Hortense the Horny
Arabella the Aroused
Belinda the Bootylicious
Flora the Flexible
Madeleine the Malodorous
Francine the Frigid
Priscilla the Promiscuous
Vanna the Vapid
Hilda the Hideous
The possibilities are endless……………..
spamword trial83. I think I’ve tortured everyone enough, although I could come up with 83 titles.
Sophia the Superfluous
Annie the Anorgasmic
Hortensia the Hot to Trot
Millicent the Magnificent
Alma the Amoral
Barbara the Barbarian
Constance the Constant
Constance the Constipated
Rebecca the Remanded
Gloria the Glistening
Ha! church33. Maybe I need to go to one.
Kasey Michaels did a bunch of Regencys back in the day with the same sort of titles: Lurid Lady Lockport, Savage Miss Saxon, Toplofty Lord Thorpe (equal opportunity!), and so forth…
I ought to take umbrage at the suggestion of “Wendy the Wingnut”, but I LOL’d, so you’re forgiven.
And Gloria the Glistening! That goes nicely with the HaBO that was just posted! LOLOLOL!
Saexburgha the Insatiable
My all-time favorite used bookstore is The Dusty Bookshelf in Manhattan, KS: http://www.thedustybookshelf.com/ They have an incredible number of books at the main store and the second store in Lawrence, KS. They also seem to be able to find things that no one else can.
The Toplofty?
Woah.
Amazing.
Can’t…help…myself…
Patty the Punani
Abigail the abstemious
Andrea the androgynous
Wilhemina the weepy
and her triplet cousins,
Selena the slippery
Sally the slick
Serena the Sere (takes after Aunt Frieda the frigid)
Cunegonde, the Dazzled
Vanessa, the Vaporous
Desiree, the Deciduous
Harriet, the Herbacious
Swanhilda, the Swell
but really, nothing can beat Amelia the Defenestrated
Mary Sue, the Multitalented
about66: yeah, I could probably come up with about 66 of these if I tried
Geez, I just asked a simple question, and look what the Bitchery has come up with! I meant to start the whole thing off with Giselle, the Gaseous, but that seems kinda lame now.
bring99: and everyone did.
I can’t believe no one’s used
Bertha the Bodacious and
Belinda the Bloodthirsty(vampire book, naturally)
Iphigenia the Indefatigable????!!!
My husband said I spelled this correctly.
You could also try the Goodreads bookswap system, and maybe (very slight possibility) bookcrossing.com.
Thank you, I will try those!
My aunt did put in a request for an inter-library loan that her library felt confident they could fill, but obviously she’s still looking for a copy to own. Because if you have 1 through 39, you can’t possibly rest until you’ve got all 40. Apparently.
I would just buy the full set on AbeBooks for $200 and re-sell the ones I already had, but I guess not everyone happily plunks down two benjamins for old paperback gothic romances written by a dude in the 70s.
OMG, I just found two of these in the used book sale at my library. I picked them up because they looked great for a hoot! Little did I know what I was getting into…