Caption That Cover: The Winner

Book Cover Oh, the possibilities: is he peeing? Mourning his missing manjunk? Bemoaning a pedicure gone horribly wrong? Over 200 captions later, I had a great ab workout (ow) and I have The Runners Up and The Winners for this Caption That Cover Contest.

Honorable mention goes to:

Tez Miller: In the immortal words of Glenn Quagmire: “Does this look like a Q to you?”

Virginia E: As the four hour mark approached, he tried to stare it down, all the while cursing the lack of cell service.

Sarah W: “Dowsing for the Magic Hoo-Ha with the Mighty Wang.”

Kerry Allen: “For once, Killian was glad of the stereotype about drunken Irishmen. A lie about a bottle of Jameson’s and a dare would be so much less humiliating than the truth of why he’d gotten his pubes waxed into the shape of a unicorn.”

Chrisbookarama: “Go, go Gadget Wiener!”

Maediya: “How the snakes were really driven from Ireland!”

Viz Amez Liz: “Like blowing a really good smoke ring, crop-circle farts take a bit of concentration.”

not sure who: “Ah!” He said smugly. “But can Michael Flatley do this!”

riwally: ““Ooo, Declan, you have ‘swan’ tattooed on your cock.”
“Look again, lassie.  It really says ‘Sascatchewan’.”

And the winner:

Morphidae: “Hello, ladies, look at your man’s dick, now back to my dick, now back at your man’s dick, now back to my dick. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using leather belts and switched to rope belts, he could look like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on an island with the man that looks like he’s peeing in the ocean. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a romance novel with a decent cover. Look again, the swirlies are arriving. Anything is possible when your man farts magical swirlies and not black miasma. I’m hung like a horse.”

Morphidae, well played. Email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom with your bookstore choice and the $25 in gifty credits shall be yours. Thanks to everyone for entering the contest – and to the model for such a baffling pose.

 

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General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Freshechelle says:

    You made an excellent choice.  I laughed myself hoarse at the winning submission!!

  2. 2
    dick says:

    Hey ladies!  I don’t understand the “peeing” business, especially when both hands are clearly shown.  I think most males would want better aim than hands-free allows.

  3. 3
    Morphidae says:

    Thanks so much. I giggled my way through the creation of the caption and am glad you liked it too. Email on its way!

  4. 4
    Sarah W says:

    Congratulations, Morphidae! 

    That whole passage was brilliant, but that last line was perfect!

  5. 5
    Flo says:

    I just shot lemonade out my nose laughing at the winner.  Awesome.

  6. 6
    Babs says:

    OMG! The winning caption is BRILLIANT!

  7. 7
    AmyW says:

    Hilarious! Well done, Morphidae!

  8. 8
    StarOpal says:

    Hey ladies!  I don’t understand the “peeing” business, especially when both hands are clearly shown.  I think most males would want better aim than hands-free allows.

    Well, dick, some men do go freestyle, usually outside. And drunk. If he had his hands on his hips, the technique would be called “a Superman.”

    The more you know!

  9. 9
    MarieC says:

    Congrats and well done, Morphidae!

  10. 10
    orangehands says:

    Morphidae: I was hoping you’d win. There were a couple I really liked but yours cracked me up for a good hour. :)

    Congratulations!

  11. 11
    EbonyMcKenna says:

    Congrats to the winner,
    and well played everyone, this was such a fun comp, I laughed so hard it hurt.

  12. 12
    JenTurner says:

    Oh, man…the winner was perfect. I’m still laughing while I’m trying to type this. LOL. :) Congrats, Morphidae!

  13. 13
    tikaanidog says:

    OMG!! Can’t…. stop…. laughing! Well played, Morphidae, well played!!!

  14. 14

    Excellent choice!  I can see it in my mind being played out on television.

  15. 15
    Lisa Hendrix says:

    OMG, I do love the women of SmartBitches.

  16. 16
    Barb says:

    I laughed until I had tears running down my face!!  There are alot of people WAY more creative than I will ever be – and I appreciate that!  Thank you for the chuckles!

  17. 17
    Sandra D says:

    I had a blast with this contest. I knew I wouldn’t win but I peed myself laughing at all the entries. Well done winners!

  18. 18
    Danielle says:

    Haha, the winning caption is brilliant! Love the dowsing one too.

    (capcha is “larger28”. Well, I guess that would explain why he’s staring at it…)

  19. 19
    JenD says:

    Big congrats to the winner! I loved that one. Read it to Hubbs and he loved it too- even did a mighty fine impression!

    My other favorite was ‘Tonight…you’. We spent the whole week running around saying “No!, hand banana!”

  20. 20
    hvitveis says:

    LOL! So funny all of them!

    For some reason I keep reading the title as “hunting device”….

  21. 21
    Evelyn says:

    Great choice!
    While reading “Inside Out” by Lauren Dane (do not recommend), I just came across this sentence and thought of the caption contest: “You’re a man who can make art from wood.” :-D

  22. 22
    CupK8 says:

    Well-chosen, Sarah. Worth some chortles from me – usually I titter. ;)

  23. 23
    lunarocket says:

    I don’t understand the “peeing” business, especially when both hands are clearly shown.

    Ah, but this just shows how much control this guy has!

    I love the entries I tried to think of something witty to say at the time but everything good was already taken!

  24. 24

    Oh yes, that one just had to win. Very funny and clever.

  25. 25
    dick says:

    Geez!  After 7 decades using one, you’d think I’d know how, wouldn’t ya?

  26. 26
    Alex S says:

    Hey, he *is* wearing a piece of rope as a belt.

    Why the phuk is he wearing a piece of rope as a belt?

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