Alert reader Heather forwarded me the following cover, and said that the minute she saw it, she thought of us.
Isn’t that kind of her? Thank you, Heather! Now, everyone can say thanks to Heather because holy mother of all that is ponderous, does that image ever cry out for another round of Caption That Cover. As Heather said, “What is it with covers of guys backs with them looking down? Looks like he’s looking at his crotch. Is he getting ready to unzip and take a wiz? Honestly, that’s what it looks like. This is one time when cropping the head and just having a view of a nice back would have worked much better.”
She has a point. I showed it to Hubby and said, “What’s he doing?” The answer: “Peeing.”
So, folks, it’s time to Caption That Cover and answer that burning question: What’s going on there? What’s he thinking? What’s he… doing? Best caption as picked by me will win a $25 gift card to the bookstore of the winner’s choice – but you are, as always, welcome to pimp your favorites and tell me which one you think I should pick.
Standard disclaimers apply: I’m not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. If you’re experiencing painful or frequent urination, please see your doctor.
Have at it – comments close in 24 hours! Caption that Man!
‘Hmmm, the rope belt seems a little harder to unknot than knot… Might have to invest in a real belt.’
‘Surely one more time won’t make hair grow on my palms…”
“I was in the pool!” – courtesy of George from Seinfeld.
‘Frostbite in Ireland. When my blackened hand falls off I can pleasure my lady with the nub!’
Since birth his mother always told him that men thought only with their dicks. Now finding himself lost in a vaguely accurate historical time, he paused and tried to think very hard…
“I wonder if I can hit that sheep down there? … Hahah, stupid sheep!”
Now YOU can be the tortured hero, too!
Step One: Assume The Stance: Arms spread slightly, chest thrust arrogantly forward, buttocks clinched, head lowered under the weight of your great burdens.
Step Two (optional): Have a friend trail you with a fog machine and/or a hauntingly melodic soundtrack.
Now get ready, because the heroine of your dreams will appear in no time!
Disclaimer: Obtain doctor’s permission before undertaking any of the above, but do not be dissuaded by doubtful comments. Rest assured that any soreness of the muscles resulting from The Stance will soon be relieved by the Magic Hoo Hoo of your future heroine.
“Steady. Steaaady. ‘I…love…’ All those other ab-tastic chumps just grudgingly SAY they love their woman. To be sure, to be sure. (This is an Irish Romance, don’cha know! Shite! Jaysus! Er…leprauchaun!) *I* write my love notes in the sand, simultaneously demonstrating my impressive muscular control. And this, ladies, is why I’m known in pubs from Dun Laorghaire to Dublin as The Pencil Pecker.”
Laird Razor McWharsmyshirt demonstrates exactly why he is stuck in the Mists of Ireland with nary a bodice-ripped, thigh-splayed heroine in sight.
But the Picts were the Scots and the Scots were the Irish, didn’t you know? [/1066 and all that]
So many very funny entries, but I think Morphidae’s possibly edges in front, like the unseen todger in the cover.
I think he’s muttering, “Damn it, it’s burn the sheep, rape the women.”
Oh, shit. I didn’t bring a binder to cover that during my presentation on the potato famines.
Lord Devon MacRavenswood is devastated when he realizes he just doesn’t have enough in him to spell out his name in the snow.
“He searched everywhere for his lucky charms…”
Huh! Mom was right, it DOES fall off if you play with it too much.
@Ann Somerville: And here I was thinking I was the only person who’d read and loved 1066 and All That! Though my own favorite part is when Robin Hood lay a-dying, fired an arrow out the window, and hit the Sherrif of Nottingham again!
<3
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOASS.
Swirly Butt of Desire
Brought to you by the letter B, for bigger, and spending way, way too much time in airports and on planes…
I think I can. I think I can. I think I can
or
“Come on little fellow; I know you can do it. Everytime we think of the Magic Hoo-Ha we get a little bit bigger”
St Patrick didn’t get rid of *all* the snakes in Ireland.
or
Damn belt’s come undone and it’s dragging on the ground again. I’m gonna have to sling it over my shoulder at this rate.
“Look, Ma, no hands!”
Shoulders back…
Stand up straight…
Suck in my stomach…
Oooo, it does make my little man look sooooo much bigger.
Goody gum drop!
I love these caption contests! So funny!
“I was sure it was there when I woke up this morning.”
“Ok, it’s out. Now what?”
The roguish Mr. X thought he was being haunted by ghosts of his past. He couldn’t have known the ghosts of girlfriends present were haunting his little X as well…..
There, in the puddle of his urine, was the face of his angel… haunting him. If only his desire matched the length and breadth of his rope belt. If only she hadn’t laughed.
Seamus stared in horror at the wilted shamrocks and dead leprechauns spelling out his name. Who knew that winning the pissing contest would result in in such wanton destruction.
Uh oh. What is that? This can’t be good.
Bran would never forget his night with Donal of the merfolk. The bloody crabs wouldn’t let him.
OMG, some of the above captions are HILARIOUS!!
“What else can I raise with my mind control?”
For once I’m not going to take the dirty route…here is my attempt.
Haunting Desire – a place where Ted was haunted by his decision to pick puce for his mani-pedi.
My husband adds this one:
What’s it building down there?
On the front: She broke his heart…He peed on her rosebushes.
and on the back: Even after he was gone…His aroma haunted her dreams.
How’d THAT get there?
Dr Banner wasn’t sure, but he thought he spied another Hulk in the green mists of the Emerald Isle…
Damn. If only I hadn’t been chopping jalapenos, I’d be able to keep my shoes dry.
3hrs, 59 seconds…damn that double dose of Viagra!
Sean thought he’d found the solution to his little problem…
He wondered what the mists would bring but wasn’t prepared for what it would take.
Wait. Where’d that girl go?
Title: Gregor and His Stiffy Do Ireland
Donal McDonal and the Dowsing Dick of Dublin: An Irrigating Ireland Tale
A hard man is good to find. (courtesy of Mae West)
We did better than that – we staged it in highschool 🙂