Alert reader Heather forwarded me the following cover, and said that the minute she saw it, she thought of us.
Isn’t that kind of her? Thank you, Heather! Now, everyone can say thanks to Heather because holy mother of all that is ponderous, does that image ever cry out for another round of Caption That Cover. As Heather said, “What is it with covers of guys backs with them looking down? Looks like he’s looking at his crotch. Is he getting ready to unzip and take a wiz? Honestly, that’s what it looks like. This is one time when cropping the head and just having a view of a nice back would have worked much better.”
She has a point. I showed it to Hubby and said, “What’s he doing?” The answer: “Peeing.”
So, folks, it’s time to Caption That Cover and answer that burning question: What’s going on there? What’s he thinking? What’s he… doing? Best caption as picked by me will win a $25 gift card to the bookstore of the winner’s choice – but you are, as always, welcome to pimp your favorites and tell me which one you think I should pick.
Standard disclaimers apply: I’m not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. If you’re experiencing painful or frequent urination, please see your doctor.
Have at it – comments close in 24 hours! Caption that Man!
I’ve been struck with the stupid this morning, but Morphidae gets my vote.
“Oh, no! I put my pants on backwards. Again.”
I got it!!! He is Charlie Sheen in that crazy 20/20 Interview!!
“I win so radically in my underwear before my first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.”
😉
I has cum. You know why swirlie?
hmm given the surroundings, I’m going to say he is feeling shame over what he did to that poor innocent sheep a half an hour ago
Look! The magic farts can too make me levitate!
Any man can write his name in the snow, but only one can draw symbols in peat with no hands….
“Damn! I thought what happened in Vegas would stay in Vegas.”
Hero to unseen Heroine – “Blowjob, I said blowjob not toejob!”
@ashley
!!! heeheehee
“Aw, man! I just bought these shoes. Stupid sheep.”
There are some great captions here, but one made me laugh out loud. Brian’s simple, everyday explanation fits perfectly:
i will write my name in this melting snow. Which font do you prefer? Regular cursive? Comic sans? Times New Roman? Chiller? I am a man of many talents. Can you not tell by my manly back pecs and my enormous schlong?
Other dowsers use willow rods. Why was it his gift to use *his* rod to find water? At least it was accurate: water, straight ahead.
Where are my keys?: a Novel based on a True Story
His keys were gone again, and all he could do was search aimlessly through the mysterious mysts of mystical might. They surrounded him, swirling around and around while he wandered further and further from his apartment.
“Sigh. Some days I just want to pee sitting down without shame.”
He’s looking down at his shoes, trying to pretend that the impressively concentric swirling mists aren’t coming from his ass and rising up to his his nose.
caption: Whoever smelt it dealt it.
“Wh…where’d it go?” ::whimpers::
“A people beset with gluten and lactose intolerance. ..
..a man, raised on a diet of cabbage and bacon…
One man would control the ‘mist’ that would free his people from their oppressors… and save them from their poor diet. “
Or perhaps ,
“… féidír, fhéachaint tú ar seo! Nuair a bheidh mé anseo, tá mo oileán mar an gcéanna le Inis Mór.”
Which roughly translates to-
” …if you look! When I stand here my island is the same size as Inishmore. ”
(Though my gaeilge is rather rusty… )
@henofthewoods Oh, that was funny; and based on a true story, no less.
Irish mist is like snow, you want everything except the yellow bits.
After a re-read, I realise that should have been ‘fhéachann’
…‘má fhéachann tú anseo” …. The ‘feidir’ becoming superfluous.
Apologies to (better) Irish speakers,
“As the Mists of Tír na nÓg rolled in again, Óisin hung his head and sighed.
He really wished that one day Niamh would want him for more than just his body.”
(last one, I need to stop procrastinating now.)
“He stared down at himself, one thought in his mind: ‘I may only have the bladder of a mortal, but I will somehow take a whiz along the entire coast of Ireland.’”
A man’s gotta have goals.
Concentrating with all his might and clenching his butt muscles, he was finally able to emit the emergency hurricane distress call.
“I sure wish I didn’t have these genital warts.”
“I love how this belt compliments my abs.”
Peter’s demeanor quickly turned sour when he realized he would have to walk several more miles off the beaten path until he reached the nearest t-shirt vendor.
Colin has relied on his magic cock as a compass before, but now that it has been possessed by the ghost of the most powerful succubus in Ireland, he may be forever lost in a land of conflicting desires.
Remember how little girls use to chant “I must, I must, I must increase my bust.” Well I’m thinking he’s trying to use the power of the mind to get it to grow.
Lachlan knew that contrary to what people said, size does matter. He knew that tapping into the power of the mists would make it grow…Grow, little Lachlan, Grow!
Someone call my chiro, I think I need a neck alignment
My private SBD.
@notsurewho Poor Óisin, so misunderstood. Now you’ve made me feel sorry for the cover model.
I need to stop procrastinating too.
“Haunted by lost love and erectile dysfunction. “
“A desire as mysterious as the ocean, and as long lasting as his gas.”
Damn these Irish mists, they’ve turned my tallywhacker green!
Alternatively—
Why do my farts smell like Bailey’s?
(With thanks and apologies to King Missile…)
“I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It’s detachable.
*detachable penis, penis…detachable penis, penis…*”
“Oh, come on, come on,” he rasps, looking downward. “It’s a beautiful day!”
*tap, tap*
“Gosh damn it. I’m suing that damn therapist. ‘What makes you happy, indeed!’”
Omg! She said it wasn’t contagious.
“The leprechaun swore that the four-leaf clover lay in the field ahead. He had only to find it to win back his magic cloak and save the village from certain destruction. Not to mention the nasty chill…”
The beautiful lakes of Ireland… you know what happens when you have to pee and you hear water!