Caption That Cover: Mystery of the Backside

Alert reader Heather forwarded me the following cover, and said that the minute she saw it, she thought of us.

Book Cover

Isn’t that kind of her? Thank you, Heather! Now, everyone can say thanks to Heather because holy mother of all that is ponderous, does that image ever cry out for another round of Caption That Cover. As Heather said, “What is it with covers of guys backs with them looking down? Looks like he’s looking at his crotch.  Is he getting ready to unzip and take a wiz?  Honestly, that’s what it looks like. This is one time when cropping the head and just having a view of a nice back would have worked much better.”

She has a point. I showed it to Hubby and said, “What’s he doing?” The answer: “Peeing.”

So, folks, it’s time to Caption That Cover and answer that burning question: What’s going on there? What’s he thinking? What’s he… doing? Best caption as picked by me will win a $25 gift card to the bookstore of the winner’s choice – but you are, as always, welcome to pimp your favorites and tell me which one you think I should pick.

Standard disclaimers apply: I’m not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. If you’re experiencing painful or frequent urination, please see your doctor.

Have at it – comments close in 24 hours! Caption that Man!

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General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Sally says:

    Maybe not so much peeing per se, but his stiff stance suggest to me that he is concentrating really hard, via mind control, to get his crotch to do something. I think the mysterious swirls back up my claim of mind control.

  2. 2
    Zumie says:

    I saw the title and had to go the supernatural route.

    His back is stiff, his bladder ready… but he’s getting performance anxiety from those pesky ghosts. Will our hero ever get a moment to himself?

  3. 3

    “I dinna know where you’ve bin, laddie, but I see you’ve won first prize again!”

    Or perhaps, “Oo’s a pretty boy, then?”

    Never forget, it’s the pelvic thrust that nearly drives you insayayayne….

    [not actually wanting to enter the comp though :) ]

  4. 4
    Rachel says:

    Haunting Derriere: The Hero takes a moment to regret that Celtic symbol tattoo he got on his rump; he really should stop accepting dares.

  5. 5
    AndiLeigh says:

    Oh shit what IS that?!  No wonder it was burning while I was peeing…

  6. 6

    They say it happens to all men sooner or later…

  7. 7
    Faellie says:

    “Look! No hands!”

  8. 8
    Tin CC-Ong says:

    Must. Not. Look. At. All. These. Swirlies.

  9. 9
    Phoe says:

    “I think I need to see a Medcine Woman, it um swirls when I pee…”

    “I lost my contact lens, in the bog.”

  10. 10
    Tez Miller says:

    In the immortal words of Glenn Quagmire: “Does this look like a Q to you?”

    Frankly, I’m more concerned about the swirling winds coming from his backside. Haunted farts?

  11. 11
    Megs says:

    “I think it’s a little bigger! Wait, no, it’s just the way I’m pushing my hips forward. ‘Natural male enhancement’ my ass. I wonder if it’s too late to collect on that money-back guarantee…”

  12. 12
    Virginia E says:

    As the four hour mark approached, he tried to stare it down, all the while cursing the lack of cell service.

  13. 13
    talena says:

    “Does this rope belt make my ass look big? No? Does it make my wee man look bigger then???”

  14. 14
    Undomiel says:

    “Empty coastline as far as the eye can see, and I still manage to step in dog shit.”

    Actually, out of the whole mess of that cover, I can’t get over that absurd piece of rope he’s using as a belt.  It’s too coarse to have nice finished ends with a buckle and it’d be really bulky to knot…

  15. 15
    Barbara W. says:

    Sometimes when he was bored, Tiarnen liked to pull out his cock and pretend it was a giant ray gun incinerating the bugs scurrying around on the ground.  He was simple that way.

  16. 16
    OdetteLovegood says:

    “Tonight… You.”

  17. 17
    M&M says:

    1)He knew that pissing in the wind was not a good idea, but he didn’t think there would be a problem with mist..

    2)The Mysteriously Misty Tale of the Hypnotic Ass: Look at my ass, look at my ass, the ass, the ass, not around the ass, three,two, one, you’re under!  ——>  (inspired by Kenny Craig of Little Britain)

  18. 18
    M&M says:

    1)He knew that pissing in the wind was not a good idea, but he didn’t think there would be a problem with mist..

    2)The Mysteriously Misty Tale of the Hypnotic Ass: Look at my ass, look at my ass, the ass, the ass, not around the ass, three,two, one, you’re under!  ——>  (inspired by Kenny Craig of Little Britain)

  19. 19
    Gradland says:

    “Yes…yes..now point me toward that pot of gold.”

  20. 20
    ghn says:

    When she talked me into getting those piercings, I should have insisted on gold – that silver does not really go well with my skin tone, though it makes a nice contrast to the hair.

  21. 21
    The Duchess says:

    “That dip in the freezing ocean was NOT a good idea…”

  22. 22
    JaniceG says:

    “Great – thanks to you, I have to sneak out of yet another town at the crack of dawn, and this one didn’t even give me time to put my shirt back on!”

  23. 23
    Kristi says:

    “I’m sorry, I’ve been holding it forever and really didn’t see you down there!  However, if you get stung by a jellyfish in those waters, you are all set.”

  24. 24
    Colonel Angus says:

    how does Elly May Clampett tie her belt?

  25. 25
    Sarah W says:

    Dowsing for the Magic Hoo-Ha with the Mighty Wang.

  26. 26
    Venetia says:

    I showed this cover to my mum and at first glance she thought the title was Hamstring Desire. Make of that what you will …

  27. 27
    Diva says:

    A mysterious occurrence….A wizard’s unholy intervention…A man’s search for his missing peepee….

    “Dude, it was here just a minute ago.”

  28. 28
    Kerry Allen says:

    For once, Killian was glad of the stereotype about drunken Irishmen. A lie about a bottle of Jameson’s and a dare would be so much less humiliating than the truth of why he’d gotten his pubes waxed into the shape of a unicorn.

  29. 29
    Morphidae says:

    Hello, ladies, look at your man’s dick, now back to my dick, now back at your man’s dick, now back to my dick. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using leather belts and switched to rope belts, he could look like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on an island with the man that looks like he’s peeing in the ocean. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a romance novel with a decent cover. Look again, the swirlies are arriving. Anything is possible when your man farts magical swirlies and not black miasma. I’m hung like a horse.”

  30. 30
    Kim S. says:

    “Judging by the angle, I’d say the wind off the sea is blowing at…oh, say, twenty-five miles per hour. Ooooh, that was a nice gust of about thirty-five! See how it bends?”

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