Sonnets from The Pittsburgher

imageAs per my bet with Jane, here are my sonnets to commemorate the Steelers’ loss to the Packers in the SuperBowl. I was only supposed to write one, but I wrote two, one about the Packers and one about the Steelers.

The Steelers

The Steelers’ Superbowl has lost its drive
The underdog has failed to show its teeth
A score of thirty-one to twenty-five
Gives many happy cheeseheads much relief*

A Pittsburgh Steelers fan I’ve always been
Bound to the team at birth and childhood
But even I admit, with loser’s pain,
The game produced the result that it should.

The Steelers lineup has some fine heroes
And Polamalu’s Twitchange eases sting
Of knowing number seven’s a zero
Ben played like he did not deserve a ring.**

Packers bring home Lombardi and Renoir -
I toast your team of most deserving stars.

*unless you are lactose intolerant, in which case, the opposite is true.
** and he didn’t.

The Packers

The Green Bay Packers win? So expected
So many fine heroes to make one stare
I speak honestly as one dejected,
The only place they fall short is the hair.

Clay Matthews has the flowing golden locks
But Polamalu’s hair would be my choice.
Yet Packers’ D was perfect in their blocks
And Rodgers’ play gave reasons to rejoice.

I understand their popularity
Packer appeal’s not mystery or bunk:
They’ve shareholders, fiscal transparency -
And Rodgers never texts pics of his junk.

Should hair and heart and drive create that play
I’m glad Lombardi heads home to Green Bay.

 

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Random Musings

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  1. 1
    AgTigress says:

    Knowing nothing about strange foreign team-games, my only reaction is wide-eyed astonishment at that metallic object illustrating your text.  Appears to be a robot’s, or an alien’s, phallus.
    :-)
    To be fair, the Football World Cup trophy is also phallic, though evidently from a different species of alien:
    http://vhirsch.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Football-World-Cup-Trophy1.jpg

  2. 2
    Ell says:

    SB Sarah—
    Delightful!

    AgTigress—
    That would be the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Famous coach. (My high school history teacher/school football coach/Italian also named Vince *adored* him.)

  3. 3
    ev says:

    @AgTigress- what you don’t see in that pic is that by the time it was presented to the winners, every member had touched it and/or kissed it and it was covered with prints- both finger and lip. (I thought poor Roger Staubach was going to have to beat them off to get to the stage!)

    Nicely done with the poetry. They did play a great game and came to win. I think the Steelers left that will at home, or something. I was very disappointed in their playing. At least the second half was a game and not a total massacre.

    The ads on the other hand…

  4. 4

    I’m not even a sports fan and I found these funny.  Thanks for an early morning giggle.

  5. 5
    Sarah W says:

    Wild Applause

    These sonnets are beautiful. 

    Ben and I graduated from the same college, a decade (or two) apart.  This was not enough to make me remember this was Superbowl Sunday (I’m a dedicated sports-amnesiac), but thanks to my husband and mother (also both alums), I’m well versed in his every so-called move during the game.

  6. 6
    Jennifer Armintrout says:

    It is a graceful loser that can commit praise for their enemies in poem.  :D

    Now that it’s all over, I’m ready for baseball.

  7. 7
    MelB says:

    I bow to your poetic talent. (bows) These verses are a great summation of the big game. Even though it didn’t produce the desired result and I had to watch my hated rival take home the giant phalllus. But now it’s all over and I don’t have to be reminded every day on the television about how much my Bears suck and how great the Packers are until next fall.

  8. 8
    SB Sarah says:

    Thank you, thank you. And yes, it is baseball time.

    AND THIS is the Pirates’ YEAR, I tell ya. Yinz better watch aht, dem Pirates’r gon’ win the Series.

  9. 9

    Well done, Sarah!  As a Packers fan and shareholder I thank you. And don’t forget, our head coach is a Pittsburgh native.  I agree, your team wins the hair bowl – TP’s locks are lovely.

  10. 10
    AgTigress says:

    I was so riveted by the picture of the trophy that I very rudely failed to praise Sarah’s poems, which are indeed excellent!
    :-)

  11. 11
    Jaci Burton says:

    Oh such awesomeness is this sonnet.

    And such epic sadness for you at your team’s loss.

    I’m a Rams fan and despite having an improved season, they still suck, so hey, at least your team doesn’t.

    Take heart!

  12. 12
    Jane says:

    So I wonder how the Stanley Cup tradition started where all the players get to spend one day with the Cup.  Why not the Lombardi trophy? and what happens when the cup runs out of space for inscribing all the names on it?

    These sonnets are awesome.  Must contrive to do more bets that will result in Sarah Poetry.  She can then publish them. I mean, if Jimmy Fallon can publish his thank you notes…

  13. 13
    TracyS says:

    I am a Green Bay Packer fan for the same reason you are a Steelers fan. I was born and still live in WI and it’s part of living here.  The line about Rodgers not texting pictures of his junk made me snort coffee out my nose!  I’m pretty sure he NEVER will do that. LOL

    GO PACK GO!  (I’m cheering for next year already lol)

    On to baseball season, where my team doesn’t have the same chance of getting into the World Series as the Packers did the SuperBowl. But that’s okay, Go Brewers!!

  14. 14
    Val says:

    @Jane: I don’t know how the Cup tradition started but I do know about the names – they remove some old ones. Basically the Cup is the top part and the rings on the bottoms are additions. I don’t know how often they do it but when they run out of space they remove old rings and put on new ones. My guess would be the old rings go to the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto.

  15. 15
    Karenmc says:

    Lovely, lovely sonnet. The Lombardi and the Renoir – I may have to visit Green Bay!

  16. 16
    SB Sarah says:

    @TracyS: This year the Brewers and the Pirates will battle it out for Best Ever In the Universe.  Just you watch! More poetry will appear around the time of the NCLS. (this time about our complete delusion-addled crazypants).

  17. 17
    Meggrs says:

    Sarah, you are both gracious and creatively delicious in defeat. THAT is the sign of a true competitor. :)

  18. 18
    erinlibrarian says:

    Since the Steelers played like the Pirates in the first half of the game, maybe the Pirates can play like the Steelers for the first half of their season…

  19. 19
    Beth Yarnall says:

    Oh Steelers! What happened? There I was decked out in my Steeler t-shirt wearing my Steeler apron, my hair up in gold & black bands and what should happen? They lost. Wearing his Steeler t-shirt, my husband cried in his Terrible Towel as he took down his Chris Houck signed flag from in front of our house.
    Oh well, there’s always next year.

  20. 20

    Fantastic sonnets! Well done!

    Signed,
    A Cubs Fan

  21. 21
    LisaJo says:

    Fabu poetry! I’m not a football fan, but my roomie is a rabid Steelers fan (born there like you) so I watched with her.

    Does this mean you’re a Pens fan as well? It gets ugly in our house when the Pens and the Sharks play. Will there be hockey sonnets at Cup time?

    involved28: actually, I don’t think I’ve really been “involved” since I was 28.

  22. 22
    Suze says:

    Wow, that bet between the museums was AWESOME!  In Canada, the government lumps recreation and culture funding together, and the sports people are WAY better at organizing themselves in order to get a piece of the money.  The arts people don’t take sufficient advantage of some of the programs, and the sports side of things gets the lion’s share of any available funding.

    It’s SO COOL (to me, anyway) that the museums found a fun way to invite sports into their arena (so to speak), and maybe bring some sporty attention to themselves that they might not have received otherwise.

  23. 23
    DreadPirateRachel says:

    Troy’s hair is made of win. I love his Head & Shoulders commercials.

  24. 24
    Ashley says:

    Wonderful poems! They made me giggle.

    I must confess though… being from Baltimore made the Steelers loss all that better for me lol

  25. 25
    TracyS says:

    @SB Sarah: LOL at the “delusion-addled crazypants” line! That was great, and so, so true!

  26. 26
    Sarah says:

    These are fantastic sonnets!! You know though, you’re right. I mean, the Packers played better. Well, the Steelers didn’t play as badly as they did when they lost to Dallas in 95/96 but still. And you know, I’m nowhere near as disappointed as I could have been. There will be other opportunities for number seven. It’s all good :D

  27. 27
    Sarah says:

    Just read through the comments …

    @SarahSB: The year the Steelers won the Super Bowl & the Pens won the Stanley Cup, I said it would have just been fitting if the Pirates made the biggest comeback in history and won the World Series. Of course, that didn’t happen. But who’s to say it can’t this year, yeah? Mwahahaha.

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