The winner, with over 200 votes: Crochet Leopard Print!
Entry #1: Crochet Leopard Print
“This is my room, baby,” Tony said proudly as he held the door for her. He was super classy. “Like it?”
Wow. Gia would shit herself. Animal print everywhere. The crochet bedspread had a leopard print pattern. And it didn’t even smell like Axe in here. More like…Drakkar Noir.
“It musta taken your grandmother forever to make that bedspread.”
Tony closed the door.
“Nah. I did it. I used finger weight yarn, merino/silk blend, and designed the pattern myself. If feels so good on your skin. Go on. Try it.”
She’d promised herself a hookup and dammit, it was time to follow through.
“Okay.” Bella stripped and moved to the bed. It wasn’t scratchy or anything.
“I love how your boobs stay just right even lying down.” Tony took off his shirt. His eight pack reminded her of the underside of a lobster. She wondered if it would be good covered in melted butter. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off, revealing a gorgeous package stretching his shiny black banana hammock. When that came off, he was totally bald.
“I want you to suck my bald eagle, baby. Then we’ll get the wax and I’ll do yours.“
Laurel, congratulations on your winning entry. Please email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom with your address and the bookstore of your choosing for your gift card – and your copy of the Snooki book! I hope it makes you crazy-laugh like it did me.
Thank you to all who entered, and to those who enjoyed the liveblog and the entries!