Physical Erotic Perfection

A reader and graduate student named Kate emailed me this question:

“Intrigued by the concept
of well-written, professionally published erotica, I downloaded some of your
recommendations. After sampling several I found a pattern that bothered me
and yanked me out of the story.

All of the male characters – and sometimes the
females too – are described physically, right off the bat, as being tall,
handsome, and having perfect sinewy muscular bodies that I’ve certainly never
seen anywhere besides Michaelango’s David. I understand that romance and
erotica are designed to be fantasies, and that the reader is assumed to be a
heterosexual female who is inserting herself in place of the heroine and
fantasizing about this male.

I don’t know where they got their information as to
what real women want, because they certainly didn’t talk to me. My current
boyfriend is overweight, and past partners, while running the gamut from skinny to round, have never possessed rock-hard muscles or perfectly chiseled features. *I’ve* never had sex with a guy who looks like that – why would I want to?

Perhaps if I found one who was a great match for my personality, I might, and
I’m sure I’d find his body attractive, but I’m insulted that the industry
assumes that this is all I want to read about. I might be able to look past it
and enjoy the plot, but I’m likely to skip past the sex, as I don’t get much out
of picturing a Playgirl model (or two) screwing a blonde, either in terms of
arousal or placing the scene in the progression of the plot. It’s just so far
removed from my actual sex life and what I’ve learned to enjoy.

I’ve been dealing with body image issues in women as part of my graduate research, and I’ve often had to help my imperfectly-bodied partners feel secure and wanted – I hate being a consumer of the kind of cultural material that makes so many people feel inadequate.

There’s been discussion on SBTB about romance novels with plus-sized heroines,
so the matter of “imperfect” bodies has been raised before, but I don’t think
it’s been raised in the context of either the hero’s body or erotic romance. Is
there anything out there (either romance or erotica) for those of us who
actively dislike overt physical description of the “ideal body”?

I realize that I’m unlikely to find an erotica writer explaining that her hero weighs 300
pounds, but there are alternatives to descriptions of lean muscle – I recall the
hero of Spymaster’s Lady being described as “a big man,” and there’s also the
option of limiting the description and letting the reader fill in the blanks.”

I think Kate asks a very good question – the erotic-romance men are often very, very perfect, in ways that often don’t seem real.

I think erotic romance is very much about reader fantasy, and can be more liberally dolloped with idealized figures, both on the covers and in the books, particularly when it comes (ha) to the men.  I think the male standards of beauty are just as damaging as the female standards, and are slowly growing in pervasiveness,

Why do you think the men in erotic romance are so often muscularly and sculpturally perfect? Do you prefer erotic heroes to be written that way? Can you recommend quality erotic romance titles that feature more realistic men, at least, not chisled angular men of perfection?

 

Comments are Closed

  1. Beth says:

    I do tend to want the fantasy man in my fantasy…but I do appreciate it when he at least has a few “flaws.” I think J.R. Ward’s heros are good examples. Wrath is nearly blind. Zadist has a horrible facial scar, and his twin is missing a leg. Yet, despite these “flaws,” they are muscular and their women think they are the hottest vamps on earth. They are the most Alpha of Alpha males, yet sensitive, loving and committed to to meeting the sexual needs of their women. And of course, they can go all night long!!!! What’s not to love?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  2. Isabel C. says:

    Also—slow day—what Jennifer, Wendy, and Madd said. Frankly? I’ve had more than enough of a society that assumes women should be the “less shallow” gender or aren’t visual or whatever.

    I mean, on the one hand, people are attracted to different things, and that’s awesome. And people also prioritize things differently in re: romantic partners, and that’s fine too.

    Me? I have friends and family. I don’t want children. I can clean my own apartment, hire it done, buy a dishwasher, etc. What I want from a guy is a good time, which includes some amount of physical appeal*; if a guy who floats my boat isn’t around, I far prefer the fantasy to settling for what is. After all, imagination means never having to say that you have an “early meeting”. 😉

    *Although I know a fair number of guys I’d call pretty damn hot. For me, the fantasy element of romance isn’t so much the man’s appearance as it is wanting him to stick around.

  3. j says:

    Ok, I guess I’m the shallow one here – ‘cause if I read a romance w/a guy who is not at minimum well built I’d be really disappointed.  I’m fat – sucks, but such is life.  I love reading about the fat girls getting the hot guy. If I ever date again, I know the guys I date will more than likely be short, balding, heavy – and that’s fine.  But…I like the fantasy of romance books – maybe this can happen to me (probably why I love the plain/heavy heroine so much – but I do also love a good Beauty and the Beast theme!).  Most people like looking at…hmmm, I hate to say physical perfection – but look at the romance scenes in movies.  When was the last time you saw a movie love scene where a guy takes off his shirt and he’s not well built?  Rourke is perfect – and I love that about him.  I don’t mind if the guy is described as scarred or ugly (Sydnam Butler, Simply Love or Doug Kowalski, Midnight Angel) – but he better be well built.  I like reading sex scenes – tender or over-the-top erotically hot – doesn’t matter.  What does matter is I don’t want to picture some guy pumping away w/a beer gut squashing into her w/each thrust.  I can handle short, balding, even a missing limb.  But I like to know (and I’m a big fan of physical descriptions, ages, the whole bit – although I never understand half of them – what does someone look like when his face is carved from well hewed oak?)  that from the neck down the hero is going to be built.  As for the giant penis – meh, whatever – don’t care if it’s described as giant or not.  The only time I don’t mind a heavy set guy is when reading m/m and one of the guys is a “bear” – to me, he takes the place of a heavy heroine – and usually the bear ends up w/a totally chisled hot guy, so that works for me!!  If we had reality in our romances, there’d be rotten teeth on our pirates, STDs from our Rakes, pimples, bad breath, farts…thank you, but no thank…give me my physically hot guys (from lean yet muscular to pumped up gym guy) to fantasize about and enjoy!

  4. LEW says:

    I have to say that I totally go for the chiseled, perfect man in romance/erotica.  It’s fantasy for me – and everyone is hot in my fantasies.  And, to be honest, even if they were described otherwise, I would still imagine them smoldering and ripped.

  5. Christine says:

    Interesting topic. I think the grad student has a great point, however she is making an assumption based on her own personal preferences. We all live in the real word, and we all love men and women of all different shapes and sizes. I have had boyfriends short, tall, lean, heavy, etc. You fall in love with people for who they are, not necessarily how “hot” they are.
    That being said, in my fantasy life I want Alcide. I want Eric from True Blood. I want my fantasies to be epic! I want something way more primal than “real life”.  It is a fun and safe format to explore all that. And dammit I want my guys hot!
    And I know this is not politically correct, but I am going to say it anyway, I want my girls to be super hot too. At least cute. I have read novels in which the female lead is written as “plain”. And it just doesn’t do it for me.
    We are not talking about real life. We are talking about straight up escapist fantasy. If hard bods are not what do it for you, ok. But I suspect it has been tried a few times, the whole “real body” romance/erotica, and I bet you a dollar to a doughnut it doesn’t sell.
    That is why I am so glad there are some many different genres for Romance Lit. A little something for everyone.
    Most dudes know porn is not real, and I think most gals know that the fantasy hard body is not real either. I can make the separation between hot, sexy, vampires and my awesome imperfect and completely adorable husband.
    They are two very different beasts. I love love them both. I am so glad I don’t have to choose!

  6. Kate Pearce says:

    I’m slightly bemused as to why the question is about erotica/erotic romance, as isn’t the perfect hero almost a requirement in all romance novels? Most of us read them to escape the real world and enjoy the ‘fantasy’ of a perfect man.

    And I write erotica and erotic romance and I barely describe the physical attributes of my characters because good erotic writing, in my opinion, is all about exciting and stirring the senses of the reader and allowing them to insert the exact physical proportions etc etc into the scene that they want to fantasize about.

  7. DaVinci went on at great length about classical proportions which certainly has held up to various scrutinies over the years.  It’s like when you see someone and think, “She just misses being incredibly beautiful”.  But she is still attractive.  When you see classic proportion you don’t think about why it looks good, it is a natural reaction for it to please you.  I had a great figure and was good looking and married a guy with a great body, and now we are chubby old folks.  It seems all my literary efforts deal with small breasted, short red heads and guys that look like gods.  It’s just fun.
    “fine37”—yeah and thirty five was the best of all

  8. Alpha Lyra says:

    I agree completely with the letter writer. It’s actually a turnoff for me when the hero is described as physically perfect, and intriguing for me when he has a few flaws. I also prefer heroines who aren’t perfect 10s.

  9. hapax says:

    I don’t read much erotica, but I personally get weary of the tall, built, studmuffins in most romances. 

    But reading these comments, I *am* getting discouraged about ever selling anything I write.  Looking over my last four heroes:  short and skinny, aggressively average, older and a bit worn, tall and scrawny…

    …apparently my fantasies don’t jibe with the general public.

  10. Kathleen O'Reilly says:

    I think one of the issues at play, especially in erotica, is that the hero/heroine have to be perceived as OMG sexy by the other, so the character lens that the reader sees will be highly stylized to focus on what is knocking the heroine’s socks (et al) off.  If a character is about to have sex with someone, they’re not going to focus on the unattractive traits, because you know, if they thought they were ‘meh’ they wouldn’t be about to jump into bed, or maybe they would, but gah, I hope it isn’t the hero because if so, the writer is not doing his/her job.  The idea in both romance and erotica is to convince the reader that these two people are in lust/love, so even if the hero isn’t going to be Hollywood hunky, he will be perceived as hunky according to what the heroine finds attractive.

  11. LG says:

    I’m slightly bemused as to why the question is about erotica/erotic romance, as isn’t the perfect hero almost a requirement in all romance novels?

    I can name several romance novels with physically imperfect heroes. I just finished one called The Admiral’s Penniless Bride by Carla Kelly, in which the hero is older and missing a hand and wears a hook instead, and the descriptions gave me the impression that, although he could have a commanding presence, he wasn’t necessarily handsome. I can’t name any erotica that doesn’t have a physically perfect hero, although maybe there’s some out there that I just haven’t heard about.

  12. Alpha Lyra says:

    I guess I should clarify, though, that I’ve never read erotica or erotic romance. I just read “ordinary” romance. But if erotic romance is all super perfect guys, it probably won’t do anything for me.

  13. Isabel C. says:

    Hapax: I dunno—as one of the shallower participants here, and one with a fairly rigidly defined type, I’d buy all of the above except maaaybe short guy, and that’s only if he’s shorter than *me*. (5’2.) And I actually rather like both older and worn (hello there, Giles/Brandon/Dag) and tall and scrawny.

    For me, it’s more about what the heroes don’t have than what they do: no beer guts, backne (or pimples in general), bad teeth, or baseball caps. (Reading mostly historicals helps a lot with my desire for men with fashion sense, actually.) Scars, a few extra years, not so many muscles…none of those things bug me. For what that’s worth. 🙂

  14. LG says:

    no beer guts, backne (or pimples in general), bad teeth, or baseball caps

    Ok, this list made “One of these things is not not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong…” play through my head, lol. Also, nice alliteration. 😀

  15. Andrea says:

    I’ll be honest, writers, I read the character descriptions, but when imagining the character in my head I pretty much discard all info save hair/eye/skin color and height unless there’s some interesting physical feature, like a missing eye/limb, tattoos, or extra bits like fangs, fur or antennae.

    What she said.
    I don’t mind a bit of physical description but what I absolutely hate is when a character is compared to an actor/singer etc. Because then I am stuck with that picture in my head and there is a good chance I won’t find that guy all that attractive.

    For me, the heros in romance/erotica should be attractive. Like others have said here, they are fantasy and I want them to be attractive.  But as I said above, I discard a lot of what is written and picture the characters as I like but I don’t think I could just ignore a feature like a beer belly which I do not think is attractive.  I don’t really think about whether that is pc or not. It is my fantasy and there I can do whatever I like.  I don’t mind if the hero is not model material, as long as he is athletic (and by that I mean physically in shape). And as these are fantasies and not about real life expectations of what men should look like, I don’t see anything bad about it.

    Of course, I have to like the character of the hero as well – he could be described physically in a way that would make me drool but if he doesn’t have a matching personality, the book won’t work for me.

  16. Donna says:

    How many of us know any man over 6ft, with “longer than fashionable” hair, a chiseled face, pouty lips and a massive schlong?  I don’t know any.

    Actually, I grew up with this guy. Every girl I knew had the hots for him. And what did he do? He married the short, sexy (read Barbie boobage) equally perfect girl. Who must have been great in the sack as it was readily apparent in conversation that they’d never discussed their vision of the future together. Needless to say marriage did not last. There’s a lesson there somewhere..

    Anyway, I guess I’m alone in not paying particular attention to the physical description. I pick up the general characteristics then tend to envision whatever blonde, redhead (ahh, redheads….) or brunette I find personally attractive whether that’s Donal Logue or Colin Firth or Charlie Hunnam. Or the guy from the elevator yesterday…..

  17. giorgia says:

    I have read quite a few books where the hero has some disfigurement and I find the insecurity he feels about himself to be more appealing than anything else.  Lord Swartingham, Edward de Raaf from The Raven Prince is one of my all time favorites.  With his pox marked face and survivor’s guilt, he is unaware of his loveliness.  I also agree with one of the first posts about Stan.  Even he calls himself the beast to Terri’s beauty and cannot fathom why she would love him and not Mike…
    I must admit that when I am running on the treadmill and am bored with the shit on the tv’s, I like to associate the guys lifting free weights with characters I have read.  I have yet to meet Jamie Fraser or Sam Starrett… but I have seen a Reyes.
    Happy reading and thanks for the above recommendations.

  18. StacieH4 says:

    I have to agree with Kathleen O’Reilly (love your work!!) when she says it is about how the characters view each other that matters. 

    Even if the author isn’t in the POV of the heroine when describing the hero, I tend to assume we are seeing him through the heroine’s eyes.  Because the heroine wants to be with him, she will focus on his attractive traits rather than any flaws that may also be present.  So, I don’t view all the “perfect” characters as actually being perfect, just perfect to their partner.

    The most attractive traits to me involve personality and actions.  I can gloss over physical traits that don’t interest me—I just replace them with what I want to see in my own mind—but if the characters are stupid, cruel, or cardboard, the story doesn’t work for me—they can be hot as hell and they won’t turn me on.

  19. Tamara Hogan says:

    Upthread, Jeannie said :

    I’d just as soon not have a cover on an erotic novel

    I agree. Maybe I’m just getting old, but some of the cover models on erotic novels strike me as being really, really young. Like, young-enough-to-be-my-son (if I had kids) young.

  20. SB Sarah says:

    Jennifer, you wrote:

    I’m going to have to go all militant feminist here and say I just don’t care about a man’s feelings being hurt because I write a book where the guy has great abs.

    I disagree with you, and my gosh golly is it going to be hard to explain why without relying on arguments I despise. I have two young boys (OMG I don’t even want to tell you how much I hate the “As a MOM” argument, as if birthing children gives me some special mental and emotional power and perspective that those who do not have children cannot attain, rage rage irritation etc)  and already I can see depictions, directions and influences of how they are supposed to look, act, feel, and behave, especially as contrasted with girls – and this is in the under-6-years-of-age set. They’ve very young, but they are different from one another, and neither would ever measure to the standard depicted in many of the erotic romances I’ve read – not without serious amounts of steroidal intervention, which I hope they never encounter.

    As much as I dislike being told how I should look as a woman, I equally dislike seeing that same inculcation at work in influencing how my sons think they should look – and if I had daughters, for example, the Halloween prostitot costumes would send me screaming even more than they already do.

    So when I think about how that overly chisled extremely muscled depiction both on the cover and inside the book could make a grown man feel about himself, I feel that same pity and irritation I feel on my own behalf, my children’s behalf, and my friends’ daughters’ behalf (I bet I screwed up an apostrophe up in there – feel pity for me, k?). I realize feminism has a great many interpretations at this point, but as I interpret it, standing up for any person of any gender being told how they ought to look or be, particularly when that standard is so impossibly limited and unrealistic, doesn’t seem mutually exclusive to feminism. Those same standards and influences affect men and women, and I think they do equal amounts of damage. 

    That said, do I think about my sons when I read erotic romance? OH HOLY SHIT NO WAY. *shudder* In arguments like this, though, I do.

    Yet I also think, after reading the comments here, that erotic fiction perhaps more than other sub-genres has a more specific set of physical attributes at work, perhaps in part because of the fantasy aspects and perhaps also in part because of the homogenized physical types that are present in so much of erotic romance published right now. For ever rake with hair too long for fashion, there’s an erotic romance hero with chisled muscles. Perhaps the issue is really one of population control (snrk!).

  21. Jrant says:

    @ Jennifer Armintrout & Madd

    But I’m going to have to go all militant feminist here and say I just don’t care about a man’s feelings being hurt because I write a book where the guy has great abs.

    I do not hold myself, as a woman, to a higher standard of respect for men than what our male dominated culture grudgingly gives us.

    Wow, I’m going to have to really disagree with you guys on this one.  First of all, “They were assholes first” is a deeply flawed basis for any philosophy or world view. Like, super flawed.

    More importantly, I don’t think writing physically flawed male heroes has anything to do with concern for a guy’s feelings. This isn’t Affirmative Action for Baldies. This is about recognizing a woman’s sexual desire isn’t fundamentally rooted in six-pack abs and massive dicks.

    Look, if you want to talk about the male dominated culture, I would argue the abundance of physically perfect heroes is an absolute by-product of that culture. And I think this cultural ideal is harmful to women as well as to men: IT tells US what we are SUPPOSED to find sexy. It implies good sex, satisfying sex can only be had with a “perfect man.” The implication, of course, is sex with my balding slightly chubby boyfriend is implicitly “less than.” His intelligence and humor and charm simply do not offset his lack of physical perfection. (Gee, where have I heard that before?) According to this standard, I will never ever ever have fantastic sex until I bag me a gym rat.

    Please understand, I don’t have a problem with super ripped heroes. I certainly don’t think they should be removed from the genre. I’ve been with a few hard bodies and thoroughly enjoyed them . I’m not arguing that women should “settle” for less than perfect heroes. Hell no. All I’m saying is I find my less-than-physically perfect boyfriend incredibly sexy, and it would be groovy to see a few heroes like him in romance.

  22. Jrant says:

    Didn’t read SB Sarah’s response until after I posted mine. TOTALLY not trying to pile on here.

  23. teshara says:

    Personally, I’m a hefty girl and I’d like a fantasy hero that was strong, regardless of appearance. I’ve dated men over 6 feet tall that couldn’t lift a bucket of water and dated men under 5’4 that could pick me up and carry me around like it was nothing. Size and muscles don’t equal strength.

    I also like a man with some hair on him. Chest hair, back hair, face hair, whatever, just give me anything but a man with skin so soft he reminds the reader of pretty girls, slightly damp, doing commercials for facial cleansers. I understand that some readers like men and women, but to change it up in mid-scene is jarring.

    I’d personally like to see some more inter-generational and older relationships. He may not be chiseled, but he sure is skilled. Young love is sweet and pretty, but older love gives one something to look forward to.

    And for gods sake, get rid of the ‘dumb hero’ ideal, I cannot abide by a clueless man totally out of touch with anything female. If he grew up in an all-male enclave or a monastery hidden away on the side of some mountain, you get some leeway. But seriously, if he’s that far behind you have to smack him with ideas like a hammer, chuck him back until he’s done!

  24. John says:

    Hm.  As a guy reading this…kind of disappointed in the general readership.  Not that I *want* to attract the female set, but still. 

    What I’m seeing here is something odd.  I get that erotic romance is ‘fantasy’ as is regular romance – I mean, I read M/M for several reasons, and one of them is primarily fantasy fulfillment – but Jesus, you’d think that the magic and eroticism would rely in good writing and characterization.  Since when was a book (even one based on sex) supposed to skate through on how a character looks?  I find all types of guys sexy, and it’s more than ‘chiseled abs’ or ‘handsome, greek statue like faces’. 

    Plus there’s the fact that you complain about how men fantasize about your body types, but you subconsciously have these own expectations for your erotic fantasies.  Whether you are attracted to other guys in real life isn’t the point – the fact is you are saying that somewhere inside of you you’d rather have someone physically perfect.  As a guy, it makes me feel like I have to live up to something.  Some of these comments are just like ‘really?’ because it makes it sound like normal guys can’t be sexy. 

    I don’t know about anyone else, but erotica with more normal-ish men sounds fine to me.  Now some more authors just need to write it.  (Especially in M/M, please!)

  25. Olivia says:

    More importantly, I don’t think writing physically flawed male heroes has anything to do with concern for a guy’s feelings. This isn’t Affirmative Action for Baldies. This is about recognizing a woman’s sexual desire isn’t fundamentally rooted in six-pack abs and massive dicks.

    YES PRECISELY MORE LIKE THIS PLEASE.

    I write erotic romance, and I’ve read plenty of that and of general erotica—some of which is beyond terrible, and much of which is pretty great. I understand the appeal of gorgeousness, but as someone who’s much more into, say, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Colin Firth than the bodybuilder types I find it impossible to write the huge, sculptural hero that seems so prevalent in all of romance.

    But when you show me Dain from Lord of Scoundrels who is big and built and handsome and feels really, really weird about it—well, it’s easy to find that hot because Jessica, our heroine, finds that hot. Specifically hot, specifically to her. It’s much harder to stomach the heroes that are described as so ideal that every woman in the book acts like an idiot to try and seduce them—that feels much more like the porn scenario to me, where everyone has sexypants for the protagonist because that’s narratively convenient to produce sexytimes.

    Ultimately, we can’t take any one erotic romance and make it stand for the entire genre. We can only try harder to vary the hero’s standards the same way we’re learning to vary the heroine’s.

    Side note: I’m reading Zoe Archer’s Rebel right now and when she described her hero as muscular but by no means the tallest man around I just about swooned. My least favorite cliche is that ALL the heroes are the tallest/biggest of dudes.

  26. Kitala says:

    I’ll admit, I like having handsome men in my romance novels. Although sometimes the author goes out of their way to describe the man as not typically attractive but having great presence and on rare occasions I’ve seen the man described as scarred so horribly that most people turn away from him. Of course in either case he usually has an amazing physique. I usually don’t mind lack of perfection in the appearance because it’s overridden by the heroine’s obvious attraction to the man.
    I wouldn’t want to read about men with beer guts or bad teeth, but I would be fine with skinny men, less defined muscles, or even a love handle or two. One thing I’ve gotten tired of in the standard romance hero is height. Why are they always the tallest men in the room? They only time there are taller men are when they have friends who are heroes of their own novels. It doesn’t matter if the heroine is 5’ or 6’, the man is always towering, and she always fits perfectly when they spoon. I’d like a few more men of average height.

  27. Jrant says:

    Ultimately, we can’t take any one erotic romance and make it stand for the entire genre. We can only try harder to vary the hero’s standards the same way we’re learning to vary the heroine’s.

    Yes. What she said.

  28. Carmie says:

    there was one book i bought at BN on clearence that was sort of Inter-Generational the man in the book was 15 years older than the leading Lady. It was “Show & Tell” by Jasmine Haynes. i remember he was rather insecure about it. they meet at the hotel she was staying at during her divorce procedings in an…well lets just say an unusual way.
    As for my-self I tend to lean more towards the tortured heros. you know, the scarred strong silent type. the ones that pretty much get drug kicking & screaming into the plot. like Jaques in Christine Feehan’s “Dark Desire”. it’s not an erotic novel but still. there’s a piece of a historical romance that rolled through my mind as i was reading the comments, of a girl on her wedding day. she’d had her wedding dress cut a size or two too small thinking that would give her incentive to lose some weight before her wedding, but it backfired when she didn’t lose enough. they had to “bind” her to fit into her dress. anyway when they where at the wedding dinner the bindings split & so did her dress. and he was actually relieved because he thought she was sick or something & he didn’t care she’d just run throught the hall half naked saying something about himself splitting the seams on his own clothes all the time. i think the book was “the Perfect Wife” by Lyndsy Sands.

  29. Orchard says:

    giorgia said: I have read quite a few books where the hero has some disfigurement and I find the insecurity he feels about himself to be more appealing than anything else.

    giorgia said: I have read quite a few books where the hero has some disfigurement and I find the insecurity he feels about himself to be more appealing than anything else.

    Total agreement. In romance, i love love the flawed hero.

    I don’t read erotica anymore, but my first thought was that I’d be more inclined to give it another go if the characters weren’t so over the top perfect physically.

    Then I REALLY thought about it ……

    She watched as his bowed legs stalked towards her, his turgid erection swaying under the soft swell of his stomache. As he leaned up on tip toes to kiss her, she felt a shiver of excitement and anticipation.

    …….and now I’m not so sure.

  30. Andee says:

    And I write erotica and erotic romance and I barely describe the physical attributes of my characters because good erotic writing, in my opinion, is all about exciting and stirring the senses of the reader and allowing them to insert the exact physical proportions etc etc into the scene that they want to fantasize about.

    This is what I’M talking about.  In romance novels, and especially in erotica, as a reader I automatically discard any physical attributes the author gives me.  I’ve got my own archetypes to insert there. Assuming that people read erotica to fantasize as I do, I don’t like it clouded up with an overage of physical description.  If they want to describe how a hero’s attributes make the heroine FEEL or REACT, I’m down with that, but that can be done without describing the attributes themselves.  Good writing is good writing, if someone is SHOWING that a hero’s body is drool worthy by the actions of those around him as opposed to TELLING us that the guy has six-pack abs and sculpted cheekbones, that’s tolerable and advancing storytelling.

  31. Maria says:

    Dear Authors:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Heroes don’t have to be pretty, in fact, I’m not into GQ types at all—in real life or fantasy. “Beauty and the Beast” tales are wonderful (but not wolf/cat-type shape-shifting please (dragons are welcome to apply). Alpha males in protector-type jobs work for me. Alpha males in non-protector-type jobs work for me (if not quite as well). Flawed heroes work for me. Heroes can cry, but they better have damn good reason. Namby-pamby, short, flabby, boring, pansy-ass heroes need not apply, thank you.

    I’m 52 years old. This means—at least in my case, a) I am old enough to distinguish reality from fantasy, b) I am old enough to understand that alpha males belong strictly between the covers. c) I’m aware that the veneer of civilization is a lot thinner than many choose to realize and while the intellect may cling to the concept, instincts are very powerful. Instinct will always draw a woman to a smarter, stronger, aggressively protective and capable man (i.e. the alpha). If I’m reading to feed my intellect, I read non-fiction.

    I am a voracious reader with a fair amount of discretionary time and income. Most of the fiction I read is romance or has a strong romantic element and must have a HEA/HFN ending. I buy e-books almost exclusively (for my iPad) and I buy at least a half dozen a month.

    I am far more interested in reading a good, well-written story than what is currently in style for PCs sake. 

    Thank you for remembering me when you sit down to write your books. I am far from alone.

    —Avid Romance Reader

  32. Diva says:

    This is about recognizing a woman’s sexual desire isn’t fundamentally rooted in six-pack abs and massive dicks.

    Yes. @jrant said that very well. Better than I could. Amen, sistah.

    It’s fiction, it’s a fantasy. That’s great and if hardbody hotties do it for you, yay go buy some books about them. I’d embrace some diversity among romantic heroes, though.

    Give me a Gavin Hamilton from Master of Blacktower (dark, Scottish, scarred…okay he’s missing a couple fingers from a terrible accident but we can work around that) or Mr. Rochester who is tormented and, hello, married to a murderous mentally ill lady in the attic. 

    The only traditionally hawt guy I was ever with, um, didn’t feel he had to TRY. A less physically ideal guy (okay, or a guy with an actual personality) might have made an effort instead of posing. Yes, there was actual posing. Like, am I supposed to take your friggin picture now?

  33. Heather says:

    I don’t like long hair on men, and unfortunately for me too many heroes still have Fabio hair, and sometimes both sexes wear ridiculous outfits. So I reinvent what I would be attracted to. So,  instead of a hunk a man who could bench press a bus while his luxurious mane cascades around his fabulous purple silk shirt, I can imagine him having a surfer body, and short messy hair and taking off his Converse (and socks!) before seducing the heroine. I, the reader, have that power. Yay.

  34. Carin says:

    I tend to skim over long descriptions of how perfect any character is in a book, unless that perfection is part of their character – part of what makes them who they are.  What I find erotic is the gleam in the eye or the way one person touches another.  I think good authors of erotica could write a story with very little description of physical characteristics and be just fine for me. It’s more about the how it’s done than the what they look like.  Strength and quality of writing far outweigh how attractive a character looks.

    I’m surpised that no one has brought up sexual performance and what goes on in erotica as a concern.  If we’re concerned about what effect having physically perfect characters has on our expectations, then shouldn’t we be concerned about heroes who go all night (and many, many times!), every night?  That gets me rolling my eyes more than physical perfection.

    Finally, for SBSarah – prostitot costumes for girls?  Yep I’ve got 2 daughters and hate how difficult it is to get them something age appropriate for Halloween.  Also concerning?  That my son wants costumes with fake biceps and washboard abs.  This idea of what’s attractive starts very very young.

  35. Jrant says:

    If we’re concerned about what effect having physically perfect characters has on our expectations, then shouldn’t we be concerned about heroes who go all night (and many, many times!), every night?

    Yes! Or the heroines who have multiple orgasms at the drop of a hat. First time? orgasm. Near rape? orgasm. Bumpy carriage ride? Double orgasm.

  36. Adrianna says:

    As an anthropologist and art historian, this question is easily answered and it is rooted in the appeal of hyper-reality and body image. For example religious art is for the most part based on hyper-realist imagery. There is a very good documentary called, ‘How Art Made the World.’ Dr. Nigel Spivey in the first episode “More Human than Human,” he traces our obsession with the human body by analyzing art from the Venus of Willendorf, Egyptian art, and Ancient Greece’s preoccupation with athleticism, I suggest you check it out it will illuminate how you perceive romance novels and characterizations.

  37. Kaetrin says:

    I prefer to read about good looking heroes in any romance.  If they’re not described as good looking and sexy I’ll probably end up making them that way in my mind anyway.  Muscular and sexy = win for me.

  38. @Jrant.  Cute joke about the nuns and the cobblestones. . .

  39. Kelly L. says:

    I’m with Kytten—when I see a guy who’s completely ripped in the “sculpted” way rather than the “got muscles from work” way, I see someone whose workouts are the biggest priority in his life. And that’s fine, if it makes him happy! But it means he and I will not have much in common. I went to high school with a perfect example of this. He only ever talked about the gym when he was at school. Now he’s 30something, friended me on Facebook, and makes 5-10 workout-related posts per day. I’m glad he likes it, but it means he and I would have nothing to talk about if we dated. (He’s married, so it’s moot, but I’ve met other guys with the same laser focus on bodybuilding.)

    It bleeds over enough into my reading that when I read a description of someone’s improbably chiseled body, I kind of tune it out, because if I focus on it too much my brain will override my libido and I won’t be able to “fall for” the guy.  And I actively find the “bulging veins” look gross.

    Here’s what I do like that fits romance stereotypes: I like big guys—not necessarily buff, not hugely potbellied either, but sturdy, strapping, tall with big shoulders kind of guys. And I love, love, love long hair. My current BF and I have a joke that he’s my perfect romance novel man, because he has long hair and looks damn good in a pirate shirt. But he’s not bodybuilder-buff.

    He also has scars. This is another romance-hero thing that I admit to loving. Scars are sexy.

    What I like in fictional heroes, physically, is a big guy with a lot of hair and a bit of quirkiness. Scars will do it, as will other imperfections. One of the hottest heroes I’ve ever read was built like a god and had awesome hair, but also had crooked teeth and bad dress sense. And I loved him.

  40. Sycorax says:

    Physical beauty doesn’t bother me in erotica to the extent that it does in romance (though it’s always a bonus when hero doesn’t fit the mould). This is possibly because there’s a bunch of other stuff that annoys me more. Giant cocks ( I mean, ow), heroines in BDSM erotica who are ordered to wax their pubic hair (so… the hero wants the little girl look?) and just generally dodgy abuse and consent issues. I read one the other day that involved a marriage of convenience. The heroine said she didn’t want kids for two years, in case the marriage didn’t work out, so the hero poked holes in the condoms so he could ‘bind her to him with a child’. I can let some stuff slide, because I tell myself that erotica is about fantasy rather than relationships, but something like that makes me so angry there’s no point in going on.

    Sorry, I seem to have gone off topic a little… [/rant]

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