So thanks to many people on Twitter and in my email inbox who helped me with my lost cover image of blue flames from naked man ass. It’s honestly surprising that I would misplace such an epic piece of WTFery. But you know what’s even more surprising? How many flames emerge from various asses on book covers! There are a lot of combustible backsides in romance cover land, y’all. I’m not sure what that says about us, other than we like Hot Ass.
There’s regular flame:
And blue smoke:
Blue and green smoke in the front, but not the back:
And swirly gas that’s sort of greenish (I think when you can see your own farts, it’s time to see a doctor):
But alas, none of these were the blue flaming naked man ass that I was looking for. It was blue! It was flaming! And it was most definitely naked man ass. Then, thanks to @quellthesparkle and @lauren_fraser, I have FOUND the cover now permanently known in my brain as The Last Airbiscuit. You ready?
Feast your eyes on this!
There are blue flames shooting out of a naked man ass! I am so glad my memory didn’t do me wrong, though my eyeballs are really quite put out with me. So, what is there left to do but have a contest!
It’s time for Caption That Cover! In the comments, leave your best caption for the Blue Flames of Naked Man Ass (aka The Last Airbiscuit) and I’ll pick the winner. Winner will get $25 gift credit at the book store of her choice, and, of course, the people’s ovation and fame forever.
Comments will close in 24 hours. You’re welcome to pimp your favorite in the comments and yes, you can enter the contest more than once. What, with blue flaming ass gas, I would limit you to one entry per person? Puh-leez. Standard disclaimers apply: I am not being compensated for this giveaway. Rode hard, put away wet. If there was a problem, yo, I solved it – or Twitter did. Contest open to international entries. Void where prohibited by law. Void where inhibited by raw.
Have at it – and thank you to everyone who pitched in to help me find the flaming blue naked man ass. You have my eternal flaming gratitude.
Yea, and the LORD spoke to Moses through the flames, “I am the LORD GOD your father—Oh, sh!t, I meant burning BUSH, not burning TUSH. Sorry about that.”
Hank Hill had done his best as Assistant Manager of Strickland Propane to teach Joseph Gribble how not to set things on fire, but, well… boy ain’t right.
Smurfass wins the prize and this is a bit much: behind44.
And the wolf says, “Whoa!!”
LOL. Good thing I’m alone in the office right now. So unbecoming to laugh out loud in a library!
Here are my two….
WOLF: What’s wrong with your aura?
and
Looking down at his junk: Damn. Antibiotics aren’t going to cut it this time.
Magical mystery tour in the rear – you’ve seen green, you’ve seen red next stop on this ass ride … purple.
@Trudy
[quote”Don’t it make his brown eye blue…
Bwah hah hah! Brilliant. I’m sure Crystal Gale would totally be impressed!
Imagine what’s going on in front… if you dare.
“under43” – Under forty-three individual little blue flames, he felt quite warm, really.
He wouldn’t have worn the Three Wolf Moon shirt if he’d realized the Amazon reviewers meant it literally when they said how much it increases a man’s hotness. He tore it off and threw it in the lake, but it was already too late as blue flames shot out of his ass.
(Some of these suggestions have literally had me LOLing!)
Man: “Sing with me now – Shot thru the butt and you’re to blame! You give love a bad name!”
Wolf: “Sigh, no more blue martinis for you.”
He showed her the beauty of gas vs. electric…
Elena Goodtail was the last of her kind—a werewolf with a gift for fine gourmet cooking. But when her restaurant’s electric stoves can’t cut the mustard, she has only two options: go out of business, or ask Rhett Hotwynd for help.
She made him howl at the full moon…
Rhett is reluctant at first to rekindle an old flame, but how could he say no to Elena? Her long canines and minimal shedding stir his loins into an inferno. Still he suspects she may only love him for the pure blue heat of his nether-fires, which can sear a tuna steak to perfection in minutes. But can they save the Three Wolf Moon Bistro… or will the heat send them out of the kitchen for good?
The new gaslight district: from red to blue, from female to male, from him to you; a whole new brothel for everyone’s pleasure and pain!
or
You aren’t getting me pregnant. I am NOT going to have a flaming blue vagina or a** to go with all those labor pains!
Blue flame from the ass, that is a new one. For some reason the Beavis and Butthead quote came to mind while I read this- I can just see one of them with the blue flames as well.
“I am the Great Cornholio! FIRE!”
I know bad, but I couldn’t help myself.
and to give credit to my husband when he saw this: “damn, that’s a bad case of anal herpes”
Blue Ass Shining in the Plain
Darn! Just got the email about the post! Hate it when I have computer problems. I really could have used this laugh last night.
I can’t stop looking at that poor wolf. So here it goes: “Dude, I told you not to eat that strange glowing burrito. Maybe, next time you’ll listen to me.”